Belle Noir Magazine | Big. Beautiful. You.

Color Your World Red

2012-02-02T08:00:00.000-05:00

Beauty, to me, is about being comfortable in your own skin. That, or a kick-ass red lipstick. ~ Gwyneth Paltrow

It's just something about the color red. I think it's a color that looks great on anyone, no matter what your skin tone or hair color. I say that because there are so many shades of red to compliment anyone. All I know is that when I wear the color red, it puts an extra pep in my step and I just feel like I own the room just by wearing red. I love when I color my hair red; it gives me a fiery, bold type of attitude. And of course, as Ms Paltrow said above, a kick-ass red lipstick can take you from drab to fab with the quickness.

The color red allows us to add a little color in our world when we need that pep. It allows us to be bold and daring because that is what red represents. Red means strength and power. Red is such a color that if you are brave enough to rock it, it tells the world that you are unstoppable. Colors, in general, especially a nice jewel tone like red, can not only make you look good on the outside but boost your spirit on the inside too.

Red also equates sexy. I have heard plenty of men talk of how they love to see a woman in a red dress or wearing red pumps. I personally think it's because not only does it represent passion but it also represents confidence. And we all know men love a confident woman who can own a room. Confidence is definitely a trait that makes a woman or man more attractive. If you step into a room wearing red, you're getting noticed.

In Chinese culture, red represents good luck, happiness and joy. Brides wear a red wedding gown - it's considered the classic wedding dress in China. Everyone attending the wedding is actually encouraged to wear red because the color red is regarded as energy, a symbol of the fire element in Chinese metaphysics. It helps the couple to chase out bad luck on their wedding day. (source)

To me, red is such a powerful color. While it gives me a reason to be bold and daring, red also represents love. What a better way to honor your love for yourself and your strength by rocking a cute red dress and just feeling fierce. And if I can get some good luck thrown in there by wearing red, then that's an added bonus.

If you don't want to wear a red dress, there are other ways to add red to your wardrobe. Leopard print, which is a trend that never goes out of style, now comes in different colors. A red leopard print is nice...it's bold and modern. I have seen red leopard print leggings, clutch, shoes, even a tee. Sometimes a hint of red or a red print can make a bold statement on its own. At the end of the day, what matters is how you feel from the inside and out. Find what red pieces work for you and make you feel good. As Tim Gunn (my best friend in my mind, lol) always says, "Make it work!".

And don't let it stop at your clothing. According to Feng Shui, a front door of a house painted red means "welcome". And I think a red door is fabulous. Since the door is the entryway into your home aka "your safe haven", the red door keeps all the unwanted bad energy out. A red door would instead create welcoming positive energy. Some even believe a red door protects its occupants from evil. Yes, a red door can be that deep. I also love when I see a red painted wall or room in someone's house. I believe it's a mood booster. Not to mention, it looks fabulous when coupled with a pretty design that has a black and white secondary color scheme.

National Wear Red Day is Friday, February 3rd and what a great reason to wear red! You are not only adding some color to your world but you are helping in raising awareness on heart disease, which kills more women than all cancers combined. (source) So rock your red and not only raise awareness of heart disease but channel your inner boldness. Be fierce, be daring, be fearless! As the great Bill Blass once said....

Preach, Mr. Blass! Because once you are rocking that red, whether it's a nice red top or shoes or even a nice kick-ass red lipstick, there will be no doubt as to how fabulous and beautiful you are. Werk!

Keep It Moving: Keep Your Heart Healthy!

2012-02-01T10:18:00.000-05:00

Happy "Go Red For Women™ Month!"

What's "Go Red For Women" Month?

In 2004, the American Heart Association (AHA) faced a challenge. Cardiovascular disease claimed the lives of nearly 500,000 American women each year, yet women were not paying attention. In fact, many even dismissed it as an “older man’s disease.” To dispel the myths and raise awareness of heart disease as the number one killer of women, the American Heart Association created Go Red For Women – a passionate, emotional, social initiative designed to empower women to take charge of their heart health. - From the American Heart Association's Go Red For Women website

Did you know...

African-American women are 35% more likely to die of heart disease than Caucasian women, while Hispanic women face heart disease nearly 10 years earlier than Caucasian women. Pacific Islander women, long considered at low risk, count heart disease as their second leading cause of death.

[source]

All throughout the month of February, Belle-Noir.com will be featuring heart healthy tips and recipes in support of the American Heart Association's Go Red For Women campaign! In the meantime, you can download your copy of the American Heart Association's Living Guidelines for Women here.

And be sure to wear your red on Friday, February 3, 2012 in support of Go Red For Women Day and post your pics to the Belle-Noir Magazine Facebook Page!

The Frugal Files: It's Tax Time!! Get Ready to File!!

2012-01-31T07:17:00.001-05:00

Hey frugalicious ones!! It's tax time!!

By now, your W-2s should be rolling in, as they are to be made available to you by January 31!! So check your mailboxes and if your place of employment is savvy, check your email. It's time to get your taxes done!! The earlier the better, be it you get a refund or you owe. If it's the latter, you'll want the extra time to get your debt paid by the April 15 deadline.

*Note* For those gungho about filing and you did so already...there could be a delay in your refund, if you're expecting one of course. USA Today reported the IRS has installed new safeguards in their systems to prevent fraud, so taxes filed before January 26, will have to wait another week for refunds. Check here: Tax Refund Delays Sorry...

This week's blog isn't about how to file your taxes, because I'm no accountant, but I can share how to get ready to take care of your tax filing business. First, if you have a simple tax return, meaning 1-2 W-2s, then filing yourself should be an easy task. Here's a freebie I posted on my Facebook page for free advice from the friendly people at Turbo Tax. If you have a simple return, you can get started for free!!

As for getting yourself prepared for your preparer, let's get started. If you're expecting a complicated filing experience, then it's best to be ready so that it goes smoothly. You’ll need a file folder, paper clips and post it notes. Separate all your "stuff" into like item piles and label them. Everyone in your household should have their own pile.

Income

- All W-2s from each job worked in the previous year

- Check stubs from any other income received (self-employment, contract positions, jury duty)

- If no check stubs, then write down any additional income you received

Interest Statements

- All 1099-INT forms received, that reflects all interest made the previous year

*Note: if your interest was less than $10, most financial institutions won't bother giving you a form. Write it down if you like, but you probably won’t need it.

- Those with mortgages, put your Annual Tax and Interest Statement in this pile

Misc Forms

- If you have college students, don't forget to grab the 1098-T form. You should have received it in the mail.

If your child isn't that old yet, here's a link for other tax benefits, just for being a parent: 10 Tax Benefits for Parents

- Large, out of pocket medical bills? You got it, create a pile for that too.

Investments

- Whether it's a 1099-R, 1099-DIV or other investment tax form, put it here. The IRS needs a record of what you invested and what you made on those investments.

- This paperwork includes your statements for 401ks, IRAs, mutual funds, etc.

Ask about a credit known as The Retirement Savings Contributions Credit or Saver's Credit. You may qualify.

Charitable Contributions

This is my FAVORITE pile and the biggest. All year you've been (I hope) donating to non-profits such as church, goodwill, and other tax-deductible 501c3 organizations. Now is the time to make them count. You should have been keeping track in your checkbook, marking the donation as TD (Tax Deductible) and if the organization is professional, they would have sent/given you a thank you note/tax deduction letter.

On a separate sheet of paper, list both cash and in-kind donations; donations done in goods and services. So your clothes and electronic donations, as well as your volunteer time count in your favor. So your pile should include:

- Receipts from all donations

Don't have a receipt, but wrote a check? Print/provide your returned check copy.

- Receipts from items you purchased for 501c3 organizations

Did you ship a donation or purchase food for a community service function? Receipts for that postage and grocery store run go here.

- Records of mileage used for non-profit organizations

Do you volunteer regularly? Track your mileage to and from there and add to this group.

Now that you're equipped with your paperwork, you're ready to file. The IRS is always helpful to the taxpayer, so check out their site to start. It's free!! IRS Free File

My tip for next year's filing: When filling out your deductions or withholdings for your check, read it carefully. A savvy, frugalicious belle will be sure to get her money when she earns it, instead of letting Uncle Sam borrow it all year long, not pay her interest and then give her back her own money later. Purpose to break even next year and get more money throughout the year, but if you MUST have a refund the good news is you can track it. Are you asking Where's My Refund? Ask the IRS.

Frugalicious Diva

Weekly Motivation 01.29.12

2012-01-29T08:00:00.000-05:00

"You cannot dream yourself into a character;

you must hammer and forge yourself one."

~James A. Froude

Artwork: Belle-Noir Magazine February 2007 "Re-Invent You" cover
by Jean "JNESS" Nerestant. To view more of his work, visit www.bbwartbyjness.com

Want to see your artwork featured with our Weekly Motivation posts? Email us at

editor [at] belle-noir [dot] com for more info.

What is your calling?

2012-01-26T00:10:00.009-05:00

I have been struggling lately with life in general. As I have written about before, my dad's death 9 months ago has given me a new set of glasses when looking at my life. I see things so differently now and it has forced me to re-evaluate my life. It has caused me to question my calling in this life. Why am I here? What is my purpose in this life?

I believe, whether you believe in God or the Universe or whatever, that we are all here for a reason. We each have our own calling, our role in this world. The foundation of that belief is believing in something. Some people talk of the universe, goddesses, and so forth. But you have to believe in something, a higher power, in order to believe that you are here for a reason. That's what I think, anyway.

Some of us are meant to be mothers. Some of us are meant to be teachers. Some of us are meant to care for the sick. Some of us are here to inspire others. However, your calling is not merely a job, it is your highest purpose in life.

During our lives, we are shown signs of what our calling is. Those signs are shown in the little things we do. For example, if your calling is to teach, there may have been moments in your life where you helped someone read or taught someone a new word or explained a math problem. You felt passionate about helping others with these little things. This is you being a teacher in the making. This is you being shown that your calling is to be a teacher. Your calling encompasses what you like to do, what comes natural to you.

Now once you realize what your calling is, it doesn't mean it's so literal. Let's use being a teacher as an example. Let's say that being a teacher is your calling. Despite that being your calling, that might not mean you're going to teach in a classroom. You could be a teacher in other ways. You might become a public speaker where you are educating the public on important topics. You might turn out like Oprah and have a TV show where you reach millions of viewers and educate them on life and its ups and downs. Your calling has a main role but consists of many facets within that role. Using Oprah as an example, her main calling may be to teach others but within that calling, she has been able to become a successful celebrity, philanthropist and helper to others. Finding your calling is truly tapping into what is in your heart; what draws you in...what makes you happy.

We're all called. If you're here breathing, you have a contribution to make to our human community. The real work of your life is to figure out your function—your part in the whole—as soon as possible, and then get about the business of fulfilling it as only you can. ~ Oprah Winfrey

No matter what your calling is, everyone's calling has the same goal: to serve others. When you serve others, you not only make yourself feel better but you heal yourself a little with each moment. You feel better because you are fulfilling your destiny and walking your path. Think of your calling as a unique mission. That unique mission is the greatest gift you can give to the world and you don't even have to work hard at it. It's who you are. No mission is too small. Once you know your calling, you are already fulfilling your purpose. You might not get public credit - not all of us will end up on the cover of Time Magazine. But it's not about being validated by the public. It's about how you feel as you walk your path, living out your calling. That dream was put in your heart for a reason. While you are gifting the world with your calling, you are also gifting yourself.

I know what my calling is; to help and inspire others. There is no denying it. I guess with everything that has happened to me in the last 3 years, I have been forced to clean-up my life. While this has made me confused at times, angry, and sad, it has also made me feel re-born. It has made me feel like my life is finally back on track. It's hard for us to see the very things in our lives that hold us back when they are our norm. Sometimes the norm makes us lose sight of our calling and what we are meant to do in this life. Normalcy equals comfortable, consistent and predictable. And honestly, life is not meant to be that way all the time. In order for us to fully realize and live our purpose, we will be challenged and tested at times.

Just because we have been shown the way does not mean we will go that way. Fear of the unknown holds us back from taking a chance and not choosing an easy path. That higher being (whatever you believe that to be...God, The Universe, etc) will show us the way but at the end of the day, we have free will and make our own choices. The funny thing about life is that while we make those "easy" choices, our purpose (those things we are meant to do in life) will constantly show itself in signs until we make the right choice. For some of us, like myself, it takes a while. I'm going to get it right this time and I feel it in my heart that I am.

What's your calling?

The Frugal Files: How to Survive Seven Days without Spending

2012-01-24T06:00:00.004-05:00

Hey frugal folks!!

We’re here another week hoping you’ll join the Frugalicious Diva in a Frugal diet of sorts. You know I’m the Challenge Queen and it’s good to stretch our thinking and confront our habits periodically. It’s always easy to say you’ll join this and take on that, but sometimes we don’t do well because we don’t know how to do it.

This week's focus is ZERO SPENDING, for the last few days of January; a good way to end the first month, discipline ourselves to combat instant gratification and best of all, save money.

So, how do we do it?

Planning and careful execution is a key to achieving any goal. “Winging it” only creates confusion and lack of focus. So, let’s put together a game plan.

Plan Meals

Since we’re not going to the grocery store, take an inventory of what you have. Ration it out with precision and make do. Plan for breakfast, pack lunches and cook and freeze dinners for the whole family. Experiment with items you don’t normally use; the food that’s always left in the cupboards after all your favorite stuff is gone. In my house, it’s pasta and cornbread, but they will both make a grand entrance this week.

Tips for frugal eating: Suggest everyone drink water before each meal and brush their teeth directly afterward to ward off any unnecessary, excessive hunger pains. Sit at the table and eat as a family, not in front of the television. Look at each other and talk, chew your food and enjoy the flavorful meal while you engage in meaningful conversation. Further distract the family with an activity like board games or trivia. Avoid television, especially commercials. For dessert, give fruit or something that can stretch like jello.

By the way, don’t worry, this challenge doesn't call for you not to pay bills. Those things, because they are necessary, are exempt from this test of willpower. Let’s move on.

Entertainment

I set my budget for entertainment and I exhausted it for the month. It ended with a great time at my Book Club meeting. Great ladies, great book and a hilarious and insightful time!! It’s once monthly and I promise you, that when you plan for it, it's much more fun. How else can you prepare for leisure activities?

If you’re a homebody, then staying home and finding something to do is a great way to save money. No spending, no driving. Many complain of being bored at home, but there are a myriad of domestic things to do. You have your normal reading, housework (tip: use cold water for laundry, as it saves on your heating bill), and family time like games and chatting. However, doing something for yourself will ensure your commitment to doing it again in the future.

Finish a DIY project in your bathroom or bedroom. Write your business plan for that awesome idea you had last year. Have an unusual hobby? Start a blog and interact with others online who share a similar passion. Commit more time to meditation and centering yourself. If you've always wanted to learn how to Samba, grab a video and follow along.

If you tend to get stir crazy, then go ahead and venture out, on foot. Take a walk around your neighborhood and leave your wallet at home. Go chat with your neighbors or watch the ducks at the pond. Head to the Farmer's Market and inquire about growing your own veggies. You'll pick up a great deal of knowledge, but no goods, since you left your purse.

Other places to keep hold of cash include your local library. It not only has books, but music, movies and magazines, events for all ages and it's typically free. Seminars, public speakers, classes (I'm in a 3 week Tai Chi class) and show displays abound if you visit. Museums have free exhibits, good for date and family fun. Does you zoo have "free" days? Do you have a national or local monument? Pack up the kids and go. It's free to see!!

Food and entertainment are two major categories where people spend money and most times they go hand in hand. By taking a different approach to them, you can get through the next seven days without spending money on either. You can do this, I'll be joining you. Feel free to email me at FrugaliciousDiva@yahoo.com what you did daily to save money and focus on you. Stay Frugalicious!! Have a great week!!

Frugalicious Diva

Weekly Motivation 01.22.12

2012-01-22T08:00:00.000-05:00

"A friend accepts us as we are

yet helps us to be what we should."

~Author Unknown

Artwork: Belle-Noir Magazine January 2005 "New Beginnings" cover

by Jean "JNESS" Nerestant. To view more of his work, visit www.bbwartbyjness.com

Want to see your artwork featured with our Weekly Motivation posts? Email us at

editor [at] belle-noir [dot] com for more info.

I Am Me

2012-01-19T08:00:00.004-05:00

I am me. I am the oldest of 2, the only daughter and the first one in my family to graduate from college. I'm a book nerd and loved to hide out in the library when I was a kid, surrounded by books and great tales that provided me an escape from the horrible, judgmental world I lived in. I also loved to write. I could become anyone I wanted to be in my stories. I could be me and no one would criticize me or insult me. I could be accepted for me in that world. I loved music and played the flute from 7th grade and onward. I loved the escape that music also provided and how it would make my heart sing. I look back and now believe books, writing and music saved my life; it made me want a better life; it made me want to go to college and be a better person. I am me.

I am me. I spent my whole life being big and have only been skinny when I was a baby. I used to hide myself in my clothes by wearing a size bigger than I was and would never wear bold colors, white or prints. I used to get so sad when I could not find my size at the local store and not wear what my thinner sisters were wearing. I felt so unattractive because of the clothing limitations imposed on me because of my body. I owe my fashion re-birth to my dad, who one day, when I was 13, gave me a pair of his Levi's 501 jeans, which fit me perfectly. I was so happy, especially when he told me that I should never feel like I am different because of my size; that I just have to work with what I got. I took those jeans, let out the hem, frayed it and bedazzled them. I was given a do-over and a fashion superstar was born that day. I will no longer hide in my clothing and I cannot look back, only forward. I am me.

I am me. I have been called every name and insult out there, from fat bitch to whale. I have had guys reject me, telling me that they would only date me if I were to lose weight. I have also had guys who want to date me but in secret. I have had family members call me huge or tell me that I need to lose weight. I have had total strangers tell me that if I lose weight, I would be so beautiful. I was hurt for so many years, so angry at the world. I had to come to peace with the fact that while the world may feel a certain way, they do not dictate how I feel about myself. I am me.

I am me. I had people who did not want to be my friend because they didn't want to be seen with me. I had people who thought I was disgusting and because they never wanted to be like me, didn't want to be around me. I used to think I wasn't good enough. I used to feel like the odd one out. I thought no one understood me. I later found out that wasn't true. I had to accept me for me. I am beautiful. I am me.

I am me. I was told growing up that I was not dark enough to be considered Latina. I was told that I talked "white" because I used big fancy words when I spoke, acted like a "white" girl and that my white skin was not attractive. I was told how lucky I was that I could "pass" and would have a better life if I acted like I was not Latina. I was so lost for years, not knowing my identity and where I fit in. I had my epiphany moment one day when a woman came up to me at a bus stop in the Bronx and asked me in Spanish, what bus stopped there. I asked her, "How did you know I was Latina?" and she replied in a confused tone in spanish, "Because you look Latina." I realized that day that my skin color does not define who I am and where I came from. I am proud to be a "white" looking Latina. I embrace who I am. I am me.

I am me. I wake up every morning, thankful for another day, another do-over, and hopeful at the thought of a brand new day. I feel like the sky's the limit and I can do anything I set my mind to. I am comfortable in my big body and am in awe of my beauty from within. I know I have something to offer this world. I love me, even my flaws and imperfections. I am not perfect but I am happy with who I am. I didn't always feel this way but after everything I have been through on this journey, I am finally in a happy, accepting place. I am Marcy. I am me.

Who are you?

Image courtesy of notsalmon.com

The Frugal Files: Mission Student Loan, Be Gone!!

2012-01-17T07:00:00.001-05:00

Hello! We're back for another edition of The Frugal Files!! I'm glad to be here and excited you join us here at Belle-Noir Magazine every week for sharing about money, self love and motivation!!

Last week we chatted about getting our children ready for the future; they are our future. I touched on proactive preparation to send our children to college; be it community college, university or trade school, someone has to pay for it. I know we don't mind paying because we love our kids, but should it cost us our life savings or our sanity, when we can simply put it aside gradually? I think we both know the answer.

College educations and future planning is something we can act on right now. It's time out for the belief that we have plenty of time. While you're changing diapers and thinking like this, your child will be be in preschool before you throw pamper away; will be hitting puberty before you pick up all his crayons and will be going to Prom before you pop his first zit. It's coming and soon, not "one day" but soon. Prepare yourself or you just might find yourself...

...in the same boat as YOURSELF. Do you still have student loans hanging over your head? Aren't you tired of paying them? Well, PAY THEM OFF ASAP!!

Last week, I had an ongoing, frugal discussion with an online group regarding debt reduction. The revolving theme for many was student loans. All my life I've heard people complain about student loans, in many cases from those who'd been out of school ten or more years. This dialogue was no different, but what was different was the amount owed in contrast to what I've heard over the years. While I revealed knowing people who owed $50,000+, some of these women admitted to only being responsible for a few thousand dollars. I was so shocked they were still carrying that little bit around, drawing interest, no less.

Then the challenge came...

For 2011, this group had a debt reduction challenge for all members. The moderator who proposed it was inspired by Dave Ramsey's radio show, one of my favorite money gurus. We were to report all monthly debt payments including mortgage, credit cards, as well as car, personal and even payday loans. Oh, and of course, the reason we're here today; student loans.

I'm unsure of the final results, but I can say I was pleased with my own debt reduction, shaving several thousand dollars off my mortgage. For 2012 though, Frugalicious Diva decided to provoke the ladies in my group to another dare; one I know they can achieve and be proud of their results!! I want them to say GOODBYE to their student loans FOREVER!!

I introduce to you "Mission Student Loan, Be Gone" (pronounced with a long "o") to you and anyone else who wants to pay off student loan debt this year!! I don't care how you do it, just get it done; no amount is too small. Here's a few suggestions while you're making your plan:
- put it on an autodraft
- donate a portion of your personal or business sales to it
- give up a luxury or a bad habit and put that money on your loans
- work it into your current budget

You can try anything you can handle, except bankruptcy. You won't be very successful trying to rid yourself of them that way, as they are rarely cleared. I have one tip for those of you fortunate enough to be in the helping fields; you might be eligible for student loan forgiveness. Take a look here for resources to jump start your research: Student Loan Forgiveness

Now, while the prize is only for those in the group, paying it off will be reward enough. This year, purpose to not be a slave to student loans anymore (even if the interest rate is low). Whether it was for your undergraduate or graduate degree, do your research and pay them off!! I would love for you to let me know when you do!! I will celebrate with you and might even send you a small token of Congratulations!! Let's do this!!

Frugalicious Diva

New Year, Improved You: Be The Person You Want To Meet

2012-01-12T08:00:00.000-05:00

I spent the first week of the year, sick in bed with the flu. What a way to bring in the new year! At first, I was miserable, thinking how much it sucks that I had to spend New Year's Eve and the first week of 2012 being extremely sick. However, looking back on the time I spent sick, I realize that being sick was also a blessing. I know it sounds weird so bear with me here...

While in bed, I read so many magazines and watched 5 seasons of Dexter (lol). And the one constant thing I kept seeing is the phrase "New Year, New You". And that made me reflect on my own life. It also annoyed the crap out of me. Just because it's a new year does not mean you have to be a new you. What's wrong with who you are now? Or who you were in 2011? I guess to me, that phrase just comes across as if someone is telling me that the present me is not good enough so I have to become a "new" me because it's a new year. And I think that's ridiculous.

A new year is a time for renewal. The key word is re-newal, as in "re", which is repeating something aka a do-over. A do-over, to me, is getting another chance to get it right, whatever you are trying to do. However, that does not mean you have to become a completely new person for you to achieve that change or goal. It just means you learned the lesson from past mistakes and now you are going to make a better decision. But while making this decision, you are still YOU. You're just an improved you, not a new you.

Being sick reminded me that the best way I can improve myself is to take better care of myself. That means taking care of my mind, body and spirit. When you take care of those 3 key things, you become the person you want to meet.

Mind: The mind can be a beautiful thing or your biggest saboteur. The quote "It's all a state of mind" is so true. I wrote last week about creating vision boards and that is one way to change your way of thinking for the better. It will also help you with recognizing and focusing on your goals. It doesn't have to be a vision board, though. It can be as easy as making a list. I am the queen of lists. They help me stay focused and organized. You can make a list of goals that you would like to achieve in 2012. A few things on my list are: I want to get my driver's license, eat more healthy, exercise more, and clean up my credit. When you make a list, you are validating your inner wants and dreams. You are making yourself accountable; you're making those goals a reality by listing them. Once you have a list, you can then focus on how to obtain those goals. Following your goals will help in getting yourself right because you are improving your life for the better.

Body: A mind cannot be fully healthy, if you feel like you're going to pass out after walking up a few steps or not having any energy at all. How are you supposed to follow your goals if your body is not right? Ladies, if you're over 35, you must get a mammogram once a year. We all need to get a yearly physical and a pap smear every 6 months. We should educate ourselves on food by reading labels, making substitutions where necessary and really looking at our portions. Drink 6-8 glasses of water a day and limit your soda intake.

If you make small changes to your diet, it will work wonders. I'm not talking some fad diet or fast weight loss. Being healthy is a lifestyle that you have to commit to long term. It's okay to indulge every now and then. But for the most part, you have to fuel your body with the right things in order for it to work right at any size. Do your research online. Look up recipes and learn how to eat well with healthy food that tastes great. It's all about eating healthy foods you like, eating three meals a day with two snacks a day, and moderating your portions.

Eating well is not the only way to get your body healthy. Living an active lifestyle is essential as well. You don't have to join a gym to exercise. You can walk around your block. You can find a flight of stairs that you go up and down a few times on. You can dance in your living room, using the gaming system like the Wii or xBox. I love to exercise using the fitness on demand channels that my cable provider offers. My fave is the walking channel. You walk in place in your living room and the instructor changes it up, asking you to lift your arms, step back and then front, or bending your leg...all of this is done without you stopping. Before you know it, you have walked a mile. It's amazing. Always check with your doctor first before starting any exercise regimen to get his/her blessing on what exercise is good for your body.

Spirit: Your spirit goes hand in hand with your mind. Your spirit affirms what the mind is thinking and pushes you to go after your goals. So you have to get your spirit right or the mind won't be right and then it affects the body. Affirmations are a great way to nurture your spirit. I wrote a few weeks ago about the importance of daily affirmations, surrounding yourself with positive people and doing things that make you happy. These are all things you can do to make your spirit the best it can be...nurture it and give it a boost when needed.

So while it is a new year, YOU as you are is pretty amazing anyway because as I always say, there's only 1 you in this world. However, there is always room for improvement and as we evolve, our goals and needs change. There's nothing wrong with being an improved you. Strive to be that person you want to meet, whether it's as a friend, colleague or romantic partner. As Oprah once said and I blogged about previously, you are responsible for the energy you bring into a room. Whatever energy you put out in the world is what you'll get back. With that said, if you know your worth and have high standards for yourself, you will not want to have people in your life who are not worthy of you.

2012: The Year of YOU....not a new you, but an improved you. You can do it! Let's get it!

Our January/February 2012 Issue is Here!

2012-01-10T09:31:00.002-05:00

Good Morning Belle-Noir Peeps!

Our Facebook Fans were the first to hear the news on Saturday night: the new issue of Belle-Noir Magazine is available now! Our theme for the issue is Renewal, and it is definitely a time of renewal at Belle-Noir!

So what's in this issue you ask?

Our cover model is the legendary Ms. Martha Wash! I sat down with her to speak about her new record label, and her plans for 2012!
Our Thursday Blogger Marcy Cruz did a sensation article with Queen Grace Collection creator & CEO, Ms. Marina Zelner! The two discussed the plus industry and the need for more empowerment and a revolution within the plus community (we're all for that!)
The Frugalicious Diva delievers a great and motivating article about renewing your goals for 2012 and beyond!
A new addition to the Belle-Noir Team, Chef Jeffrey Rogers provides some delicious Recipe Remixes for some of your favorite comfort foods

And...well, I can show you better than I can tell you! Peep the new issue below and be sure to let us know what you think in the comments section below!

Open publication - Free publishing - More black women

The Frugal Files: College Savings, Start Now

2012-01-10T07:00:00.001-05:00

Hey all!!

What an exhilarating time for Belle-Noir Magazine!! Have you seen our new Renewal issue? We're back and in full effect, bringing you the best in lifestyle for the Big, Beautiful You!! Get your digital copy and don't forget to check me out on pages 34 and 35!! Belle-Noir Mag: January/February 2012 Issue

This week I dropped my daughter off to her first day of college. She graduated in June, but decided she wasn't ready to jump into college life right away and instead opted to work for six months. After much discussion, we agreed on terms and she proceeded to get a second job to increase her income, specifically to purchase her own vehicle.

She worked and finally started to consistently utilize her budget sheet. Best of all, she is learning to pay her bills on time. In case you're wondering, she is responsible for paying rent, half of the gas for the car and her portion of our shared cell phone bill. She also has been mandated, by the Frugalicious Diva, to save weekly. But I digress...

After much preparation, which she handled with maturity, the day has come and I was a proud Momma indeed. She had all her paperwork, her books and of course her style together, heading to her first class. I reflected a bit, thinking just how blessed we are. She is able to go to school without much out of pocket expenses from me, due to grants and let me just say, they go much further at a community college. Starting off here will also prove to be beneficial to her, truly preparing her for her next step in life.

My parents were blessed to run in circles with people who also sent their children to school for free. Because of my excellent grades in grade school, I was recommended for a scholarship incentive program for minority students. The deal was to maintain a "B" average in high school, while participating in activities that involved cultural awareness, civic duty and community service. In turn, the program would provide a full ride tuition. Shout out to Toledo Excel!!

Programs like this and Upward Bound make college educations both possible and accessible to minority and underrepresented students, many of whose families live in low to moderate income communities. Scholarships are one of the best ways to get full or partial assistance with college tuition. Have your student meet frequently with her guidance counselor, but also be proactive and start your own search for scholarships, especially those geared toward minority students. Here's a site where you can start: Black Excel's 100 Minority Scholarship List

If you haven't guessed by now, we're discussing college expenses this week. It's becoming a strain and stress for many parents, especially those who fall into the middle class bracket. Last year around this time Facebook was buzzing with parents who were in dismay about upcoming college expenses and they are wondering how they are going to make it. Listen, I don't have all the solutions, but I do know we need to start planning early and it's likely that we'll have to contribute to our children's higher education aspirations.

Most of us wait until our children are in high school before we think about college expenses, but it should really start at birth. Like you have savings and life insurance, one should create a savings plan for college. That plan is called the 529 Savings Plan. It's a tax deferred investment plan/savings account to which you contribute. The great thing about it is others, like friends and family, can also contribute to it. So here's an idea, set up an account and in lieu of birthday presents for your children, ask your relatives to contribute to their college funds.

Want to be stress-free when your kids get ready for college? Then find you a plan that works for you and save for it. Some grants are still available, but in this current economy, grant money is not available for all. Check out this site and learn more, as they have links to types of 529 plans and a list of professionals you can contact to discuss them: Saving for College

Stay tuned for next week's blog, which will address paying back Student Loans. There will be some exciting news attached to that blog, so be sure to check it out!! Until then, stay Frugalicious and Save!!

Frugalicious Diva

Happy YOU Year!

2012-01-06T09:00:00.004-05:00

"In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit." ~ Albert Schweitzer

A new year is upon us! And I am declaring 2012, the year of YOU.

Last week, I had lunch with my boss, the fabulous Gwen Devoe (creator of Full Figured Fashion Week) and she truly gave me the best gift to usher in the new year: a spirit boost. After the year I have had, I needed to be around someone who would rekindle my inner spirit. She is always someone that offers such a honest view of things, while still being optimistic and inspiring. She is actually the person who gave me the idea of declaring this year, the year of YOU. After our lunch, she posted on my Facebook wall: "Happy YOU Year, Marcy! Best Wishes for more of everything GOOD!"

This really made me reflect on my life. While we all have things we want to change, there are things in our life that are already good. Gwen's message made me think that instead of dwelling on what I don't have and wishing for something good to happen, I should look at the good things I already have in my life and wish for more good things to happen. It's all a state of mind. The power of thinking can really determine how you live your life. If you constantly dwell on the bad stuff and dismiss the good things, you are really standing in your own way of welcoming good things into your life because you don't see the good things that are already there. You only see the bad things...the disappointments, the setbacks, your flaws, and what is missing from your life.

In this year of YOU, it is the time to take your power back and revive the revolution. The revolution that is your life. When I say "revolution", I mean, the power of YOU and what you can do in this life. We sometimes stray on our journey and at times, we stop on the side of the road and sit. But eventually, you need to get back up and resume your journey. Leave 2011 in the past where it belongs and look forward to 2012. Because you cannot move forward, if you keep looking back at the past.

I know that the usual thing people do when a new year is upon us is to make resolutions. Sometimes these resolutions are not realistic so they end up not being completed. The key to resolutions is not to just make them for the new year but to have goals all year around. They should be lifelong realistic goals that will help to make you the best person possible.

For the last few years, I have been creating a vision board for the new year. Vision boards are a great tool to keep you focused and help you discover what you want in your life. It's as easy as taking some poster board (which you can find at your local crafts store like Michaels, Joann's and AC Moore) and making a collage on it with images and quotes that reflect what you want in life. The whole point of this is to surround yourself with images of what you want to become, where you want to live, or any life changes you want to make. Once you dream it, the next thing is to believe it. Vision boards help you to believe in your dreams and goals because it is a constant reminder of what you are seeking. After you finish your vision board, you must hang it up on the wall where you will see it often. This is a way of reinforcing your positive thinking and energy and putting that out to the Universe.

You can get images from magazines, online, even draw your own if you feel compelled to. Your vision board is your creation...it's tailored just for you. So you can do whatever you want to create a board that suits your vision, hence "vision board". You can google "vision board" for more information and ideas.

A vision board is one way to revive your revolution and get you back on track. As I mentioned above, another way to revive your revolution is to change your way of thinking. Stop being so hard on yourself and enjoy what good things you always have. As I always say, there's only one you in the world and that is such a beautiful and empowering thing. You have the power to make your life an amazing one. Life is all about choices. To make those choices, we have to believe in ourselves and tap into that inner power we all have.

So while it is a new year and you might feel inclined to make a laundry list of resolutions to get accomplished now for the new year, think about this: You just don't get a do-over once a year. You get a do-over every morning when you wake up to a new day. So many do-overs and chances to get it right - that, in itself, is pretty powerful. So start your revolution today...it could be a small change but have big results. It's all about making that choice to continue on your journey while still being content with the present and what's already there.

Happy YOU Year! I just know 2012 is going to be fabulous for all of us.

The Frugal Files: New Year, New Skin, New Ways!!

2012-01-03T10:24:00.000-05:00

Hey there Frugalicious folks!!

Welcome to 2012!! This is a great time of the year because it's a time for complete transformations and rejuvenation. Everyone is excited about a new year starting because it symbolizes a new beginning; a new start for relationships, goals and healing. It's a feel good time that many of us use as a jump start to accomplish things we had not in the past and it gives us the extra confidence to actually get it done.

What I have found in all my years, is the newness sometimes wears off like the shine on something you received for Christmas. Right around March and April, when the season changes, we begin to forget all the goals we were so gung ho about in the beginning. By summer we're back to old ways and relaxing in the sun without a goal in sight. So what can we do to make our goals stick this time? I had to ask myself that question, because we're all guilty.

I've always heard if you do something for 30 days, it becomes a habit. Why is it that bad habits are always hard to break and good ones are hard to begin? It's baffling that we always want things that are not good for us and we see the good things as a deprivation. You know what we need? A paradigm shift. We have to look at our lives as the abundant lives they were created to be. In order for us to live it, we have to live it daily.

So what does that mean? It means if you want wealth, you can't carry around debt. Purpose to set a payoff plan on a regular basis that you can follow. Pay your debt, ~~like you pay your other bills~~ like you would pay your parents bills. You wouldn't want to leave your parents in a bad situation would you? Then think of them the next time you sit down to write your checks. If you learn to sacrifice upfront, you can live well the rest of the ride. You just have to make that first step.

Decide what you really want today financially:
- Pay off debt including credit cards, car and house loans, etc.
- Start or increase an Emergency Fund
- Start or increase a Living Expenses Fund
- Sign up for your 401k/403b (for non-profits)
- Purchase a home
- Open a mutual fund or IRA
- Set up a 529 Plan to save for your children's college fund

Map out a plan to accomplish your goals. Are you willing to make sacrifices? If so, then:
- Decide to cook instead of dine out
- Only entertain at home with what you already have
- Earmark all bonuses and extra money to pay down debt
- Clip coupons and check for sales on needed items
- Participate in clothing and food swaps where give and take is both free
- Tell your children "NO" and then get them on the Budget Train with you

I've read articles arguing to be realistic with goals, otherwise you won't achieve them. I'll challenge that though. How has it helped you to "be realistic" and allow yourself a break? If you're still where you were a year ago, then that reality definitely needs a check. I'm calling for extremes. Purpose to have a certain number of days where you won't spend money. Make it a game and see how many days you can go without spending, then brag about it to family and friends. I certainly do.

You will eventually make it a habit to only spend when you need to. Once you've had a taste of paying less, you'll be addicted to paying less than retail every time. Don't you want more for yourself and your family? Don't you want to get out of your self-inflicted rut? It's time to "be hard" on yourself. I don't mean beat yourself up, I mean toughen yourself up. Have what you really want in the long term, instead of just what you want right now. Set weekly goals and review them on a quarterly basis. Check where you stand and what you want next. When you make this a lifestyle, your momentum won't be lost by mid year; you'll be prepared to evaluate the goals of the first six months and be happy to set your latter six into motion.

Let's make 2012 the best year yet!! One where we truly make our dreams come true and our bank accounts swell!! Eliminate debt and resurrect wealth!!

Frugalicious Diva

Weekly Motivation 01.01.12

2012-01-01T08:00:00.000-05:00

"We will open the book. Its pages are blank.
We are going to put words on them ourselves.
The book is called Opportunity
and its first chapter is New Year's Day."

~Edith Lovejoy Pierce

‘Tis The Season to Let Go & Clean House

2011-12-29T08:00:00.001-05:00

Well, dear readers, it's the end of the year. It's a time for reflection, a time to take inventory of where you are in your life's journey and a time to purge. When I say "purge", I mean "clean house". We all need to clean house at times because when we evolve and change, sometimes there are people and things in our lives that we outgrow and cannot come along with us on our journey anymore. As it is said, some people and situations come into your life for a season and are not meant to be there for a lifetime. It could be a friend, a job, a project, etc. Once the lesson is learned, it is time to let go and move on to fully experience growth.

Cleaning house is not easy. Especially if you grow attached to someone or something and cannot bring yourself to let go. But for us to move forward on this great journey we are each on, we have to accept things and let go. And no matter how much we try to avoid cleaning house, things will happen to us in life that force us to re-evaluate our lives and clean house, whether we like it or not. I discovered a lot about myself this year. It was both an amazing and devastating year for me. I lost my dad, who was one of the people in my life that I love the most. But during all of that darkness, I also experienced many great opportunities. I joined the production team for Full Figured Fashion Week. I wrote articles for various magazines. I started to blog more personally and launched a Facebook page to accompany that blog. I also joined the Belle Noir team, which is how I came to be writing this very blog every Thursday.

With losing my dad and gaining all of these wonderful opportunities at the same time, I became a different person. I evolved and looked at life with a different set of eyes. As I have said before, death gives you a different perspective in life. It reminds you that life is not forever. And since you don't know when it's your time to go, you have to make every minute you are alive on this earth count. So this was when I truly learned that cleaning house is essential. In order to be successful in life, it is imperative that you surround yourself with people who will support you, inspire you and accept you unconditionally. Toxic people will just bring you down and suck the energy out of you. But when you surround yourself with good people, the opportunities are endless.

The lesson I took from my dad's death was to never take life for granted. His death was so sudden and unexpected so that really made me wake up to the fact that the time is now. I should not put off until tomorrow what I can accomplish today. It is so easy to take life for granted but honestly, tomorrow is not promised to any of us.

The lesson I took from all of these wonderful opportunities that came my way was that I needed to clean house immediately. Through these wonderful opportunities, I have met some amazing people who are the kind of people I need to surround myself with. So it made me re-evaluate who was in the mix and really see that some folks needed to be ousted from the circle immediately and replaced with some new ones. Because those in your circle will directly affect how you feel about yourself and you want people in your life who will fuel your energy, not steal it. It's amazing how it takes just one person to boost your spirit or get your creativity flowing. Just as it only takes one toxic person to cause you to feel down, think negatively and question yourself.

It's not easy to cut off people or walk away from a project or job but once you do it, it is so freeing and empowering. It's as if you are letting go of dead weight. I was a writer for a certain magazine for about a year but got to a point where it was not an opportunity that was beneficial to me anymore. So I walked away. It was hard to let go of a steady gig but I had to, in order to leave the door open for something better to come, which it did. At the end of the day, in your heart, you know what's not right and you know what needs to go. It's getting that courage up to let it go.

Just know that no one's life is perfect so even when cleaning house, you will not get your house fully immaculate and know that, that will not affect you on making progress in your life. Just start the new year off with a new attitude and cleaner house. Accept that there are many things in our lives that we cannot control and that's okay. As long as you are listening to your gut and being honest with yourself about the people and things in your life, you will do fine.

Cleaning house is a constant thing that is necessary in life. And with cleaning house, you're revamping your life. The fun thing about life is that nothing is set in stone. You can have as many do-overs as you want. Ultimately, you decide what you want in your life. You decide what direction you're going to walk. We never know if we are going in the right direction but even if it's in the wrong direction and crossing paths with the wrong people, it actually is not wrong...it was meant to happen because there is a lesson there to be learned. But the key to life is letting go of those "wrong" people and making sure you get back on the path but go in the opposite direction. You get up and you try again...another do-over. How empowering is that?

So Happy New Year to all of you and wishing you a successful 2012, full of good fortune, happiness, love and many great do-overs. New Year, new beginnings, a cleaner house. Yes!

The Frugal Files: Time for Kwanzaa, Time for Us

2011-12-27T08:47:00.000-05:00

Habari Gani Frugal people!!

It’s almost the end of the year, but the celebration is not over!! It’s Kwanzaa time!! That means it’s a time to reconnect with our African Heritage. In case you’re not aware, let me briefly share.

Kwanzaa: A Celebration of Family, Community, and Culture, was founded by Maulana Karenga in 1966 and is the first specifically African American holiday, giving us an opportunity to celebrate us and our history. Kwanzaa, meaning first fruits of the harvest, is celebrated using symbols: a decorative mat on which other symbols are placed, corn and other crops, a candle holder with seven candles, called a kinara, a communal cup for pouring libations, gifts, a poster of the seven principles, and a black, red, and green flag, representing the seven principles.

It’s easy to remember when Kwanzaa begins, because it’s always the day after Christmas and takes us through the beginning of the year. Here we’re introduced to Nguzo Saba, the seven principles of Kwanzaa. Each day is dedicated to a principle. You can find ways to celebrate with your family and friends on each day. Now, let’s celebrate!!

December 26 - Umoja (Unity): To strive for and to maintain unity in the family, community, nation, and race.

Celebrate: Come together for family dinner and eat together. Everyone bring a dish to share, emphasizing fruit and vegetables or prepare an African dish. Spending time together is the greatest way to promote Umoja in your family.

December 27 - Kujichagulia (Self-Determination): To define ourselves, name ourselves, create for ourselves, and speak for ourselves.

Celebrate: Pull out your history books, especially ones from your family history. Enlist the help of the elders and sit at their feet. Listen to the stories of those that came before us, noting their pride and inspiring tales. You know we love to tell stories, so be sure to pass on this oral history and tradition.

December 28 - Ujima (Collective Work and Responsibility): To build and maintain our community together and make our brothers' and sisters' problems our problems, and to solve them together.

Celebrate: This is a day to simply be kind to others, especially those in our communities. It’s a day to think of others, so practicing random acts of kindness like picking up litter, running errands for neighbors and serving food at the soup kitchen are good ways to do just that. Volunteer your time somewhere today. It doesn’t cost you anything and it’s good for the soul.

December 29 - Ujamaa (Cooperative Economics): To build and maintain our own stores, shops, and other businesses and to profit from them together.

Celebrate: This is my favorite, using talents before money!! Whether you’re giving gifts for Christmas, Kwanzaa or even a birthday, don’t spend money you don’t have. Instead, opt to make something creative. Sew or knit? Make a blanket or article of clothing. Handy? Create something. My Dad once made kitchen footstools for gifts. They were both helpful and meaningful because he made them with his own hands. We have talents we can use to bless others, so let’s!!

December 30 - Nia (Purpose): To make our collective vocation the building and developing of our community in order to restore our people to their traditional greatness.

Celebrate: This grace-based principle is one challenge us to do daily. One concern in our community is our children. We can restore our greatness by starting in them, our future. Mentor a child, especially teens. Setting a good example helps them understand their worth and responsibility to our community.

December 31 - Kuumba (Creativity): To do always as much as we can, in the way we can, in order to leave our community more beautiful and beneficial than we inherited it.

Celebrate: Shouldn’t all our days be about serving others? Take on another family member’s chore, just because. Gather fruit, a notepad and pen, fuzzy socks, a crossword puzzle and a bottle of water. Put it in a basket and present it to a coworker or friend. It’s a thoughtful way to spread beauty in the form of kindness.

January 1 - Imani (Faith): To believe with all our heart in our people, our parents, our teachers, our leaders, and the righteousness and victory of our struggle.

Celebrate: The beauty of Kwanzaa is it’s a cultural holiday, one where all faiths can participate. On this last day, share your traditions with someone else and partake in theirs. We all live on this earth and we can coexist here. Let’s make it easy by sharing for understanding. It will make the world a better place.

Learn more about Kwanzaa, it’s principles, symbols and ceremonies by visiting http://www.officialkwanzaawebsite.org/NguzoSaba.shtml

Kwanzaa allows us to commemorate our heritage and ourselves; it is also frugalicious!! Enjoy!!

Frugalicious Diva

Boutique Buzz: Queen Grace Collection After Christmas Sale!

2011-12-24T19:56:00.000-05:00

Happy Holidays, Belle-Noir Readers!

Just when you thought the holiday shopping season was done, comes what many people look forward to just as much as shopping for Christmas--the After Christmas sales! And our friends over at the Queen Grace Collection are having a great sale!

Beginning December 25th promptly at midnight Queen Grace will offer a 40, 50, up to 60% discount on all Queen Grace collections on the Queen Grace website. You will need to go onto the QUEEN GRACE Facebook page, click "like" to discover their % off discount!

In addition, not only 40,50 & up to 60% off they are offering FREE SHIPPING to boot using the code NEWQUEEN12 for your after-Christmas savings! It's too fabulous to be imagined! This promotion will conclude at 11:59PM December 31st.

Styles and sizes are limited, so be sure to check out this sale SOON! If you are looking for something fabulous to ring in 2012 with, the Queen Grace Collection has an amazing collection of dresses, skirts and blouses that are certain to help you make a glamorous and dazzling statement at any party! My personal fave? The Elise dress!

And be sure to check out our exclusive interview with Queen Grace Collection Founder Marina Zelner in the January/February 2012 digital issue of Belle-Noir Magazine, debuting January 7th, 2012!

Happy Shopping!

‘Tis The Season to Channel Your Inner Superstar

2011-12-22T08:00:00.000-05:00

The holidays are usually a time when many people get depressed and sad. We miss our loved ones that are no longer with us or dwell on what we don't have, like a relationship, kids, money, etc. I am no exception. I have been depressed, missing my dad. I have been frustrated with my life. Yes, even me, Ms Positivity, has her moments. I'm human. However, while I have my moments, I do know that I ultimately make the choice on how I let my emotions rule my life. Am I going to let them get me down? Or am I going to learn the lesson, let it go and move on? We all have that power, that choice. Even if you're down and continue to stay that way, you are making that choice to stay in that funk. Making that choice to not be depressed/sad sounds like such a simple concept but yet so hard to fully act out...

The one thing that I have been doing, which has been great for my spirit and helps me with making the right choices in my life is having a daily affirmation. An affirmation is a simple statement that you create or get from another source (like a book, website, etc), which relates to the goal you want to achieve either for that day or long-term. It can be 1 sentence or 4. There is no strict format for an affirmation. It is simply a positive statement that is tailored to fit you and what you need to speak on to the world to heal your own soul and help you get your focus back on track.

When you say an affirmation, you are speaking out positive things to the universe. You are making the decision to speak positivity into your life. You are controlling what kind of energy you keep within yourself and bring into other's lives. Affirmations help you make the choice to look at life differently. You become focused on your greatness instead of your limitations. You are focusing on the positive, which will help you feel better, more motivated and eventually helps you to change your outlook on life and manifest positive life changes.

And to think, it's as easy as saying a sentence or two out loud daily, as soon as you wake up in the morning. You can lay in bed and say your affirmation. You can look in the bathroom mirror and say it. You can even look out the window and say it. Just say your affirmation a few times and let it resonate within you. Think about what you're saying. Feel what you're saying and let yourself truly internalize the words.

I was introduced to affirmations and the power behind them by my friend Latisha, also known as The Frugalicious Diva, who writes her weekly Frugal Files for this blog. Latisha posted the best affirmation on my Facebook wall this morning because she knew I was having a rough day yesterday. As it gets closer to Christmas, I am thinking of my dad even more and dwelling on the things I have lost in my life. So when I saw the affirmation that Latisha gifted me with, it really meant a lot to me because it was what I needed at the right time. The affirmation was the following:

I choose to be happy at the start of each day.

Such a powerful statement in a short sentence. Honestly, that is what an affirmation is. I said it a few times as I looked out my window. The more I said it, the more I felt it to the point where I made the decision, yes I am going to be happy at the start of each day. According to Wikipedia, an affirmation is a declaration that something is true. And by us speaking these affirmations out to the world, we are declaring that they are true. How empowering is that?

You'll be amazed at how easier it becomes to achieve your goals and succeed. Your inner superstar is there within you. You just need to work a little to get her out. Affirmations can make the world of difference with helping you inspire yourself and build your self-esteem.

My Christmas gift to all of you superstars this year is an affirmation that we should all say a few times throughout the year to remind us that we have to love ourselves first and foremost:

I am happy with who I am, just as I am.

I will not waste the person I am because I love me, flaws and all.

As I have said before, there's only one you in this world. So you have to take care of yourself and love yourself as much as you can. So this holiday season, channel your inner superstar by saying your own daily affirmations. You're giving the best gift you can to yourself by doing this. Declare your happiness - make it a true thing. Take control of your life. Make that choice to live your life as great as you can. It’s your choice – what do you choose?

The Frugal Files: Relax...It's Holiday Vacation Time!!

2011-12-20T10:29:00.000-05:00

Hello!! It’s almost Christmas time!! Welcome to your holiday vacation Frugal folks!!

Christmas is right around the corner and the kids are out of school. You may or may not have as much time off as they do, but I know you have some holiday vacation time you’re using right about now. All of the shopping is done, you have a few more gifts to pull out of hiding you have to wrap and you’ve finally completed your holiday menu.

Before all that hard work starts, you should take a vacation. Many people think that taking a vacation means you have to go somewhere. Sometimes it does mean just that, but you know the Frugalicious Diva is going to confront that sort of thinking. I’m talking about a mental vacation. Take a load off your mind, forget about work and get ready for playtime!!

It’s the best time of the year to really enjoy your families and friends. Even if you decide to tackle a few overdue projects, having the kids home, gives you the insurance of free labor. *smile* This holiday time, let’s just see what we can get into…

It’s cookie time!! If you are like me, you have duplicates of some food items in your home. For us, we have an abundance of peanut butter!! I don’t know why we have so many, because we don’t use it that often. Nonetheless, we are making using it before the year ends. I’ve found a few yummy looking recipes and you’re welcome to them:

Peanut Butter Bars

Peanut Butter Cookies

Apple Cranberry Peanut Butter Crisp

These recipes will keep you happy to be in the kitchen, not at all minding the flour on your face and in your hair. Turn up the music, set up your assembly line and mix, mix, mix. Enjoy the laughs with your loved ones while you make a delicious holiday treat together!!

*Frugalicious Idea* If you’re still looking for little gifts for maybe your co-workers or club members, make them a batch or two of your tasty desserts!!

In addition to cooking, it’s time to catch up on your leisure time. Do you still have items on your hobby “to do” list? Pull it out and make your plans. Have you yet to see that exhibit at the museum or art gallery downtown? What about visiting an elderly neighbor or friend you’ve been meaning to check on? Now is the time to do your local traveling.

As for me, my family hasn’t seen the Lights Before Christmas at the zoo yet and while we’re on our vacation, we plan to check it out. It’s really beautiful from what I hear and an awesome highlight of the season in my area. The best thing, it’s very affordable.

Lastly, this is a time to get things in tiptop shape for the New Year!! My parents used to tell me, “You have to clean your room before the new year, or it will be messy all year long.” Now whether that was just a ploy to get me to clean my room or not, the principle behind that statement stands true. You want to go into a new place, a new era with a clean slate and clear head. How you leave one situation is how you enter the next.

So, follow my parents’ (and I’m sure your parents’) advice and clean it up. Give the house and each room a thorough dusting and cleaning. Clean out the junk in the basement and donate to goodwill or a community organization that can utilize your goods. You still have a few days left to get tax-deductible slips for your donations.

Before you head back to grind or the rat race, I hope you get the chance to take your own personal vacation, just for you and your family. Take the time to cater to yourself and each other and take pleasure in your time off from “the real world”. It’s a great way to replenish your spirit and renew your mind. Happy Holidays to you!!

Frugalicious Diva

"Tis The Season To Explore The Dating Opportunities, Single Ladies

2011-12-15T08:00:00.000-05:00

The holiday season can be a lonely time for us single people. This is the second consecutive Christmas in a row that I do not have a boyfriend. I'll be honest. It sucks. But it is what it is. I don't let my relationship status stop me from enjoying the holiday season to the fullest. We should never base our happiness on being in a relationship.

However, you cannot sit back and wait for Mr Prince Charming to knock on your door. It just is not happening. And don't think because you're a big girl, that you can't get a man either. That is furthest from the truth. The opportunities to meet men are out there. You just have to be willing to put yourself out there and explore those opportunities.

First of all, before you seek any type of romance, you need to be right with you. Your confidence needs to be on point. Because you wear your confidence (or lack of) as you wear an outfit. So think of it this way: if you rolled out of bed this morning, didn't take the time to dress right or even comb your hair, and decided to go out this way, it is obvious to the world that you don't care about yourself or love yourself enough to take care of yourself. Same rings true with confidence. The world can see when you are not confident in who you are. This can be a turnoff to men and can also attract the wrong kind of men. There are men out there who want a woman who lacks confidence so he can take advantage of her or control her. So get right with yourself, know your self-worth and believe in your fabulousness before seeking a relationship.

Secondly, when putting yourself out there in the dating world, please listen to the alarms. Your gut is always right and there are always alarms going off when someone is not right. But we sometimes choose to ignore the alarms and signs because we want to be in a relationship so bad. We hold out hope that things will change. Get rid of that way of thinking right now. If he isn't on the up and up from the start, he will not change and things will not get better. Don't think your situation is the exception because those are few and far between.

If you decide to try online dating, you really have to rely on your instincts to feel guys out since you are not meeting them in person but through the computer. For us big girls, there are dating sites specifically for us where men are on there looking for us. I have used dating sites before and have had a mixed experience. I do like that we have sites that are geared toward big beautiful women because then you don't have to approach that topic with a man. He knows your size already and is attracted to that size.

But at the same time, you have to be careful and observant online. I'm keeping it real here: Online, you can be whoever you want to be. I have seen men put up old pics, or be vague and not fully honest on their profiles, or they have a fat fetish, which sometimes extends to them having an addiction to being online just to fulfill their fetish as a voyeur. So my advice to you is to ask lots of questions, be observant and again, if alarms go off and things don't seem right, heed those warnings because it's probably true.

Also, be careful when getting involved with a man from another country. The distance is tough and while it is so easy to get caught up through the computer with someone, you have to be honest with yourself. How can you have a relationship with someone you can't see on a regular basis? I have heard people say they are in love but yet never met the person. I'm sorry if I am crushing someone's dreams but love is something that is built over time and you need physical interaction for that. You need to get to know someone fully by being around them before you can make a decision on whether you love them and want to be with them long-term. You can't know someone fully by email, video chat, Facebook wall posts and cards in the mail.

Now let's say you meet a man online that lives in the US but may live a few hours away. It happens and love has blossomed out of many of these types of situations. Well, Ladies, for the first meeting, if the man does not offer to come to you and instead wants you to come to him, keep it moving. NEXT! A man who is truly interested in you will not let anything stop him from getting to you. But if he is only interested in a booty call, he will not make an effort to even pick you up at the train station or airport. He'll expect you to come to him and pay for your travels. If you are in this type of situation and planning a first-time meeting and don't believe me, tell him in the next conversation that you can't come to him and would he mind coming to you? That will be the tell-tale sign of how he feels about you.

We also have BBW clubs, which cater to big women and the men who love them. Personally, I don't frequent BBW clubs. While these places are welcome spots to meet men who like big women, I find that those places are really used by men with fat fetishes and I want to be with someone who is not just with me because he's attracted to my big body. But that's my take on it. If you want to meet someone in that type of place, it might work well for you. I do know a few people who have gotten into relationships from meeting in a BBW club. To each his/her own. It's just not my cup of tea.

There are so many available outlets where you can meet someone. There's speed dating, which can be fun. There's mixers and events geared towards single people. Shoot, there's even single retreats at church! You have to find what works for you and have an open mind about it. Be confident and put yourself out there. You never know who you're going to meet in the supermarket, bookstore, church, etc. What really counts and what will help you in your dating adventures is your attitude towards it all. Don't be desperate to be with someone because you are too fabulous for that mess.

Being alone is not fun at times but wouldn't you rather be happy alone than unhappy in a terrible relationship where you settled for the first man who came across your path just because you didn't want to be alone? In the end, what counts is how you feel about yourself. When you know your self-worth, you know what you will stand for and what your deal-breakers are. You won't accept mistreatment from a man. Your confidence will command queen-like treatment. If you go out there with that type of attitude, the sky's the limit, Ladies! Good luck and happy dating!

The Frugal Files: Helpful Thrifting Tips

2011-12-13T07:00:00.002-05:00

Greeting Frugalicious ones!!

Let me just jump in today. I’m so excited to share with the world that I am doing some redecorating. Yes, it’s still Christmas time, but you have coupons, spending and saving tips to get you through the rest of the season. In fact, I hope you’re already done with your shopping…if you even chose to do so this Christmas!! *wink*

Back to my excitement!! I’m making some subtle and some not-so-subtle changes to my living room and dining room areas. In addition, we’re adding some finishing touches and changing it up a bit in the bedroom. Lastly, I am FINALLY getting around to decorating my enclosed back porch area. It is a great space and I bought minimal furniture for it as I was moving two years ago.

Unfortunately, no other attention has been given to this space; probably the reason why I haven’t spent any quality time there. It is the perfect place to sit and relax, read a book, write poetry or affirmations and look at the stars. It’s time to transform this particular spot; spruce it up and add some life, so I can do some living there.

Overall, in my search, I’ve gotten some great stuff, but I’m far from finished. I purchased throw pillows, a bookshelf, frames for artwork, vases and other colorful home décor. The best part about this shopping is that I’m thrifting!! Simply put, I’ve become kind of obsessed with this beautification project, so obviously I’m spending money, however, I’m spending less than you think. I’m hitting up all thrift and second hand shops in my area and getting huge deals!!

A little money, a bit of time and a lot of imagination goes a long way. I have miscellaneous décor items and just didn’t seem to fit anywhere; I know I’m not alone in this. Thrifting helps your imagination to get in gear. What a difference a $0.99 vase or candle will do for a room; a $7.00 set of throw pillows will do for a bare loveseat; a $5.00 large multicolored artificial plant to spruce up a corner. Now I have places to put my favorite silk calla lilies, some artwork I brought back from Jamaica and my colorful chopsticks from China. They are a creative and fun way to jazz up a bookshelf.

That wasn’t the only thing I learned in this process. There are some things you can do to save more, even when you’re already paying less. For instance, do grab a mailer upon entering any store, especially if it’s not a thrifty one. Oftentimes they have coupons you can use on that trip. While in line hoping to pay less for this item, I casually asked about coupons and she told me about the mailer. The cashier promptly cut it out for me and I got 40% off my purchase.

Also, while in line at Savers, I asked the same question and found out this tidbit. When shopping at discount stores, check on their coupon and discount policies and promotions. Currently Savers, if you have one in your area, gives you coupons, along with your tax-deductible slips. For every donation, you get a $3 off coupon for a $10 purchase. So bring in an old item when you go to get new or used ones. You donate AND you save.

Now, that’s what I call shopping (and redecorating) for less!! All you have to do is ask!!

Frugalicious Diva

Calling All Curvy Girls! Now Casting For TV Show!

2011-12-12T08:00:00.000-05:00

We received the following information from the lovely folks at Vinnie Potestivo Entertainment (VPE) & are happy to share it with you! Best of luck to all who apply!

Does your curvy figure make shopping a nightmare? Not finding anything that fits at the mall?

Do you feel the fashion industry has ignored you?

If you or a friend have experienced the frustration of shopping for plus-size clothes in a size zero world WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU!

VPE is seeking women in the Tri-State area (or those who will visiting NYC February to March 2012) to appear on a new Major Cable Network show from BBC Worldwide that will help women embrace their curves and look good inside and out.

Send the following information to: FashionForMe@VPEtalent.com
- Name

- Age

- Phone

- 3-5 current pictures of yourself

- A brief description of why this opportunity is perfect for you.

Weekly Motivation 12.11.11

2011-12-11T15:34:00.001-05:00

"Blessed is the season which engages the whole world
in a conspiracy of love!"

~Hamilton Wright Mabie

"Tis The Season to Treat Yourself

2011-12-08T15:39:00.016-05:00

"Little things make big things happen." ~ John Wooden

I love this short yet powerful quote from John Wooden. Mr. Wooden was a great college basketball player and coach. He was known for his short inspirational messages to his players. To him, his messages were not just about basketball but about being successful in life as well. He spent his career not just coaching a team but giving them food for thought, inspiration and support. The quotes were small things yet they had a lasting effect on every player on his team.

Life is basically all about the little things. Sometimes we forget to appreciate the little things and focus solely on the big things in life. This is why when we face a major disappointment, we don't handle it as well as we could. Life is always full of disappointments and setbacks. As I have said before, it's how you choose to deal with these moments in life that determine how your life will move forward. When we bypass and ignore the little successes in our lives, we are incapable of truly appreciating our lives overall.

Essentially, life is made up of tiny accomplishments, surprises, great times and moments. Think about it - if you collected all of these little great things, they would add up to one big great thing known as your life. And nothing feels better than reveling in a small moment or enjoying a little thing because you're simply treating yourself and this just adds to your happiness.

First and foremost, we have to keep ourselves happy as much as we can. If we're happy, those around us are happy for the most part and all is right in our world. Happiness is infectious and one's happy demeanor can inspire another to strive to be as happy. As I have written about before, you control the energy you put out there and your energy is directly connected to how happy you are and how you look at life. If you're a negative person, your energy is going to be negative. So if you're constantly having pity parties, crying 'Why me?"and thinking that your life is never going to get better, that is what you are projecting out to the world. You get back what you project out. And no one wants to be around a Debbie Downer. I know I don't. Just as happiness is infectious, so is negativity.

This holiday season, while yes, it is the "giving to others" season, how about giving to yourself? Enjoy the little things...find what makes you happy and do it. It could be something as simple as a cup of hot chocolate to drink while watching a romantic comedy. It could be listening to your favorite music or reading a great book. It could even be volunteering and helping others. The more you treat yourself to the little things, the more you will make your heart smile, which will change your attitude on life. Your energy will be so off the charts. People will want to know what's the deal with you and want whatever kool aid you're drinking, lol.

You need yourself as much as others need you. You need to take care of yourself as much as you take care of others. Love starts within. In order to properly hand out excessive amounts of love to the world, you need to have that abundance of love within you first. Now I am not saying you have to be happy 100% of the time, skipping down the street like a lunatic. That is just not possible. We are constantly tested in life with disappointments and bad times. But a person of true strength and character can get through anything and keep it moving in life.

For example, when my dad died 8 months ago, I was devastated. But I had just started working on the production team for Full Figured Fashion Week and time does not stop because you are standing still. I took a few days to get myself together and then I had to jump back into work. I just stayed focused and treated myself to little things that could get me through this tough time. While nothing could erase this void and pain within me, the little things kept me sane, focused and made me smile instead of crying. For me, music always helps and continues to help me as I grieve even today. I can put on some dance music, disco or some 80's pop music and start dancing around my apartment. It truly is a spirit booster.

I wrote and delivered the eulogy at my dad's service and managed to get through it without crying. I actually made the attendees laugh because I was determined to remember him in a positive light and share my great memories with everyone. One day, a friend said to me, "Wow, I admire how strong you have been through all of this. I don't know if I could have done all that you've done." And I told him that I was amazed at my own strength. Which I was. I don't know how I did it and continue to do it but I do. I take it one day at a time and focus on the little things and moments.

I always treat myself and care for me because I know I have to keep my heart right in order to treat others well. It's that simple. Also, by me treating myself and taking care of myself, I'm nuturing my own happiness and keeping my energy positive. It's like what John Wooden says, the little things makes big things happen. Your happiness and well-being is a pretty big thing. So treat yourself today. It's just another gift you deserve to give to yourself not just during the holidays but every day.

On that note, I am going to have a nice glass of Chardonnay as I sit and gossip with my best friend Herman, who makes me laugh so much that I will be reaching for my asthma pump. What do you plan to do to treat yourself today?

The Frugal Files: Easy Ideas, Breezy Christmas

2011-12-06T07:52:00.000-05:00

Happy December to you!!

It's definitely that time of year isn't it? It's snowing, the streets are buzzing and the chimneys are smoking. This is one of my favorite time of the year because it promotes so much family and friends time. All during the year we hustle and bustle for our jobs, and outside people, but the holiday period allows us to come back inside and wine and dine the people closest to us.

I love that there are more home cooked meals shared with more than just immediate family; also that the thinking focus is turned toward someone other than ourselves. We reach out and use our hearts. However, for some, it is still a stressful time. One of the reasons I especially like family geared holiday time is because it is a sometimes difficult time for those who have lost loved ones, thus losing traditions we may have once known.

The good news is that new traditions can start anytime. One of the reasons I find that people find holiday time stressful is because they try to uphold an unrealistic image of themselves, their families and their bank accounts. Over the years I would watch the habits of my family members, as well as my own, once I was old enough to take on my own responsibilities. There were years I found it easily and exercised both good judgment and planning. Other years, it was complicated and hard to manage. Finally, I decided to stop stressing myself out about Christmas and didn't put too much focus on it.

I know many of you took advantage of those great Black Friday "sales" and it is my hope that you were able to get all the gifts you wanted to buy and within your budget. While I know that can be realistic for my truly Frugalicious folks, I know that's idealistic for the masses. It is inevitable that we will spend money, but if we're spending less each time; now that's frugalicious! Here are some other ideas to keep from overspending this holiday:

The Trusty Gift Exchange – Throw everyone's name in a hat and pick one. Set a dollar amount and have the monitor write down a few things that you'd like in that price range. You are then only responsible for buying ONE gift; the person you chose. For added fun and frugaliciousness, agree to only buy gifts from the Goodwill, Salvation Army, Savers or whatever second hand store in your area. This can be a fun way to celebrate the season without throwing your wallet in the fireplace. All those stores benefit someone else too, so you're achieving a community service in your purchase. As far as your family goes, everyone will get a gift, in fact, they get a gift they want!!

Talent Time – If you are an artistic person or have a special knack for baking or working with your hands, this is your calling this Christmas. Give out as many heartfelt gift that you can make. Getting specialized gifts, made with your own hands are sure to make any recipient feel special.

Debt-To-Income Plan – In this plan, you realize you have too much debt and not enough income, so you spend nothing. This idea dares you to say NO to the monetary side of Christmas, while saying YES to the promise of paying off debt; a true gift to your family. Your bonus is that you skip the shopping lines, the fighting in traffic and your money goes to a useful place that just might ensure better Christmases in the future!!

Enjoy your week!!

Frugalicious Diva

‘Tis The Season To Have An Open Mind

2011-12-01T10:52:00.007-05:00

I spent most of this year in a relationship, which was good at times and not so good at times. However, this time around, about 9 months into it, as soon as I saw things going left and knew that this relationship was not good for me, I broke it off. After my dad died earlier this year, I realized that life is indeed short and it made me look at life differently. It has forced me to re-evaluate my life, including my dating choices.

We have all been guilty of staying with someone we were not entirely happy with because we didn't want to be alone or millions of other reasons. For whatever reason, we decided to hang in there, hopeful that things will change. And they don't. It's harder to leave because you are essentially walking away from that fairytale we all have of being with someone. But honestly, I'm at a point in my life where I'd rather be happy alone than unhappy with someone, just to be with someone.

I have learned a lot being in the dating/single world. One thing I hear all the time from both men and women are how they aren’t any good mates out there. I am guilty of saying that myself. But I have learned over time, that I was getting in my own way. I was so focused on my “list” of characteristics of what I was looking for in a man and that led me to ignore and dismiss good men that were right in my face.

This is what I think. As a single person, you have to have an open mind. There are some great single people out there but they’re not connecting. So you have men and women out there who are great catches but they are not meeting each other because they won’t look twice at each other.

For me, of course, being a big girl, that is a strike against me when it comes to men who are only seeking women of a certain size. I have met many men who I liked and vibed with but they wouldn’t even give me a chance because they “preferred” someone smaller. Don’t get me wrong. I get that. I know all about preferences. We all have them. But I think limiting yourself with such preferences can hinder you in your search for that special someone because you will rule out some great people.

I used to date men who were extremely tall and thin. That was my physical preference. I also only dated black men because honestly, they were the only ones checking for me. They found my curves and big body attractive. But then I got to this place, where I kept meeting guys who treated me like crap. It was the same thing over and over again. Sure, I can say that these guys were jerks but in the end, I was choosing to be with them, to date them, so I am accountable for those choices. If he mistreats me once, okay, it’s on him. But if I CHOOSE to stay and he continues to mistreat me, it’s on me. I am accountable.

We need to stop being so focused on a person’s height, weight, shoe size, financial status, the type of car they drive, their fashion sense, etc. We need to look past the outer shell and what’s on paper. I'm not saying that money, status, having a job (!) or the number of children he/she has is not important. However, sometimes we get fixated solely on those things and ignore everything else. We need to look at a person’s character, their heart and their mind. Once you do that, you can make a proper decision on whether you are interested in him/her or not. Who knows? You may see qualities you like and connect with and that person becomes so attractive to you that you see someone that those other folks who are looking at the exterior don’t see. Like the saying goes, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.

Life is about taking chances and having faith. If you close yourself off to the possibilities out there and just settle, you will never know what could have been. You could miss out on something great and wonderful. It’s about letting go of perceptions of what you think is the right type of mate. It’s not being concerned with what others think. You're the one dating this person and your happiness should supercede what anyone thinks.

So now, I know what you’re probably saying…but what if there is no connection or attraction when we first meet? Well, there may not be a connection or spark at the beginning but that does not mean you should rule the person out, if they possess those other deeper qualities you are seeking in a significant other (caring, considerate, sense of humor, etc). A solid relationship is one built over time, getting to know someone, being that person’s friend and companion - knowing them to their core. How do you know someone when you first meet them? I think we put too much emphasis on establishing that instant connection and use that to make a decision on whether we want to date the person or not. But honestly, that instant connection will burn out as fast as it appeared.

We want things NOW. We want to rush into a relationship because we yearn for that. But if you rush into something without knowing a person and just based on an instant connection, what will you do when that connection burns out and you want to run for the hills?

What I am saying is, take your time to get to know someone before you rule them out. Don’t dismiss them solely on their appearance/outer shell or lack of an instant connection. Then make a decision on whether you want to pursue something with them or not. Just make sure you are being true to your heart and not letting outer forces influence your judgment. Because in the end, someone will always have something to say. You can’t make everyone happy but you can make yourself happy. So who cares what someone else thinks? If you’re happy, it’s all good.

You may not always get what you want but just know you will receive what you need when the time is right. Just keep an open mind, be patient and continue to live your life fabulously, alone or not. Love will find you - it may not be on your timetable but it will happen. Usually, when we are looking too hard for something or someone, we end up settling for the first thing or person that comes along. And you know and I know, you are too amazing and beautiful for that mess!

On that note, this holiday season, gift yourself with an open mind and the other gifts I have discussed in the last 2 months:

- Know your self-worth

- Tap into that self-love from within

- Believe in yourself & your beauty

- Take care of yourself physically (Put yourself out there, be active, meet people)

Those are the best gifts you can give to yourself this holiday season and those are the gifts that keep on giving. Be good to yourself today and always.

World AIDS Day 2011: Knowledge is Power

2011-12-01T10:03:00.000-05:00

December 1, 2011 marks World AIDS Day. Do you know your status? When was the last time you were tested? With testing available free in so many parts of the country, there really isn't an excuse anymore to NOT get tested. Make today the day you know your status.

For more information on World AIDS Day events worldwide, please visit http://www.worldaidsday.org/.

For more information on the impact of HIV/AIDS on women & girls, please check out The Red Pump Project (http://www.theredpumpproject.org/). The co-founders, Luvvie Ajayi and Karyn Watkins, have created a wonderful organization that has spread nationwide through online awareness through blogs (including Belle-Noir Mag) as well as national events. It is a wonderful resource!

#knowledgeispower

The Frugal Files: Settling Down and Changing Focus

2011-11-29T08:39:00.000-05:00

Hey there!! Frugalicious Diva here for another week to challenge your thoughts and actions about your life on the frugal and fiscal levels!!

Last week, we discussed Project Reach In. This challenge allowed you to spread the holiday cheer while sparing your pocketbooks (or wallets for the men). Over the coarse of that time until now, we've experienced Thanksgiving that was probably abundantly full of cooking and spending time with loved ones. In addition, we've also encountered the frenzy of Black Friday, the support of Small Business Saturday and the confines of Cyber Monday. Whew...aren't you tired?

Well, while the sales ads fade, why don't you take a break too? Settle yourself and give your pockets a well-needed rest. You have a little over 30 days left of 2011. Sit down and think about how you can really make those last days count in your life overall. I've said this before and I'll say it again, "You don't have to wait until January to make new goals or resolutions." You can start any time, so start today.

I started similar challenge, because you know me, Challenge Queen, but used the last 40 days to do 40 things to better me. You can do the same. Let's try these on for size:

Write your broad goals for the next 6 months, 5 years, and 10 years

Write your specific goals under each category
Write your individual action steps to get to each goal

This will help you focus on the future for you and your family. You can target areas like career, health, money, spirituality, creativity, self-esteem, leisure, etc. This allows you to stretch your thinking about what you can accomplish, as well as gets you in a proactive seat to get it done.

Look for a mentor in your chosen field

Get first hand experience from someone who has been where you want to go
Use their expertise to write a better story for yourself

This is very important because having someone else to help you is a true leader's secret weapon. There are plenty of successful people before you, so why reinvent the wheel. Follow their lead and achieve your own success.

Open a special savings account and use it has your "Bad Habit Account"

Want to break a habit, then save the money you would have spent
If you spend money on the habit, match it in your account

I really like this idea because it tackles our instant gratification mindset. It helps us to create new, more positive habits with our lives and our money. I'm not saying to not enjoy life, after all, we are Frugalicious, but we want to have good, healthy habits and that includes a healthy wallet.

Write a list of 10 things you have always wanted to do, no matter how "crazy"

Set out to do each one and once one is done, replace it with something else
Include your family and friends to help you write the list or join you in this quest

This helps you not only stretch your thinking, because in the process you will be learning. It also helps to stretch your thinking about yourself and the life you live or want to live. It is an excellent self-esteem builder to do things you thought were impossible or unattainable. It also gives you more life knowledge and a larger frame of reference. It opens up the creativity in us and allows true joy to come in.

So for the next 30 or so days, reflect on the personal instead of the pocket. You will most likely still spend money, especially since it's Christmas time, but at the same time you will be teaching yourself and those around you valuable lessons. It's not just about the money. You have a real life to live. Make it count beyond overspending or collecting trinkets. Dig deep to see what's already in you.

Until next time...peace!!

Frugalicious Diva

Boutique Buzz: Black Friday/Small Biz Saturday/Cyber Monday Edition

2011-11-23T08:30:00.000-05:00

Artwork by JNESS BBW Art

Whether it is "Black Friday", "Cyber Monday" and now "Small Business Saturday", the push for holiday shopping is growing larger and larger every year! People are ready to shop til they drop, starting at the crack of dawn (or even earlier--midnight!), while trying to get the best deals available in store or on the web. And shopping as a plus size woman is no exception.

I'd love to say that this is the most comprehensive list of places that plus size women should shop this key shopping weekend. Alas, it probably barely scratches the surface. However, these are a few of the shops, both on and offline, that we think are worth checking out for some great gifts for your favorite plus size ladies (even if that includes yourself in large doses). Do you see some stores that we missed or some deals that you think your fellow plus size ladies would love to take part of? Be sure to leave them in the comments section!

Happy Shopping, folks!

Avenue (online at http://www.avenue.com/): Thanksgiving Sale- Up to 50% off + free shipping on $50 on 11/23-11/26 only

Couture Queen (8400 1/2 Harford Road, Parksville, MD 21234): 30% off all merchandise in the store including shoes, handbags and accessories for Small Business Saturday from 9am-7pm. In addition to the sales, the boutique will also offer light refreshments for patrons and the opportunity to network with each other and share with other small business owners. (Note: store will be CLOSED on Black Friday). For store hours, visit www.couturequeen.net.

Eddy & Bri (online at www.eddyandbri.com): $20 off any purchase of $80 or more and free shipping. Promo code: TGWKND. Through Cyber Monday.

Johntines Boutique: (332 Malcolm X Blvd. Brooklyn, NY 11233) Pink Friday Sale. 11:30am- 8pm. Select dresses, tops and jeans 20%, 30% and 50% OFF

Just As You Are (online at www.asuare.com): Get 25% OFF Your order with code 25OFFNOV at checkout. Offer ends Nov 30th

Lands End (online at http://www.landsend.com/): 30% off your order (clearance items too). Just enter coupon code DRUMSTICK + pin 1121 at checkout. Shipping is free. Expires Mon, 11/28.

Lane Bryant: (online at www.lanebryant.com and in store): 50% off entire store + Cacique

Qristyl Frazier Designs (online at www.qristylfrazierdesigns.com): Save up to 30% off Epitome Collection through December 2nd

Queen Grace Collection (online at http://www.queengrace.com/): Save 50% off of all merchandise starting midnight EST 11/24/11 through Monday 11/28/11 at 11:59pm EST. Enter promo code SWEET50 at checkout.

Being Thankful for YOU

2011-11-23T08:00:00.004-05:00

Special Note: this blog post is a day early due to the Thanksgiving holiday this week.

Thanksgiving is upon us and it is a time to be thankful... for the people in your life, the blessings bestowed on you, the things you have, etc. However, sometimes we forget to be thankful for the most important thing in our lives...ourselves. You should be thankful for YOU. As I wrote last week, there is only one you in this world so be proud and inspired to be you.

There are times where, even I feel like I am not reaching anyone, not inspiring anyone or not doing enough to help people in my life. Then I receive a letter like I did this week. I received a message on Facebook from someone I have known for a few years but we're just casual friends and barely speak. Her note said the following:

"I know we don't really talk or hang out. But I wanted to tell you that I always read what you write, whether it's on Facebook, the blog or on Twitter. I may not always comment but I have to say, you inspire me to be a better person. You keep me motivated to keep pushing forward. You remind me that there is light at the end of the tunnel and not to give up. Thank you for that."

Wow! I was stunned when I read this message. That just goes to show you that you never know who you are inspiring in your life. This is why I believe we should all strive to be the best person we can be. We are not perfect but we are imperfectly perfect. Our flaws can also act as our badge of honor if we look at them in a positive way and not loathe them. If we show the world that we can celebrate our flaws and accept ourselves as we are, think of how many people we will inspire by just being ourselves and loving ourselves. We unknowingly set examples for others by how we live our lives. And we will be so much happier if we were living our lives the best way we can.

Listen, none of us signed up to be role models but it happens, even when you are not trying. It happens even when you're in a negative state. People will look at you and tell themselves that they don't want to be like you! You can't escape this unless you lock yourself away and have no interaction with anyone in your life. But that would be boring. As Helen Keller once said, "Life is either a daring adventure or nothing." And this was a woman who was deaf and blind since the age of 19 months! And she ended up being the first deaf/blind person to earn a bachelors degree. She also never gave up on learning how to communicate with others, later on learning how to speak and becoming a public speaker among other great accomplishments. So if Ms Keller can overcome such obstacles and still be amazing, why can't you?

Be thankful for who you are and what you bring to this world. Because someone out there looks up to you. Someone out there is inspired by you. Someone out there is looking at life in a different way because of something you said or did. Be thankful for your unique beauty, your wonderful spirit, your beautiful mind, kind heart and great sense of humor. These are qualities that are not limited or determined by a dress size. As Joel Osteen once said "You were made on purpose. Your birth was no accident." You are unique. There is no one on this Earth like you. Like I wrote last week, that is pretty empowering. You have the power to make your life an amazing one. There is no one stopping you but YOU. It's all a state of mind. It's all in your attitude, whether you're a size 4 or a 24.

So this Thanksgiving, I want you to look in the mirror and say:

"Thank you! Thank you for being You. I am awesome. I am amazing. I am ME."

And then enjoy some good food, drinks, and company. It doesn't matter where you are on Thanksgiving - Life is what you make it. Enjoy the moments and be thankful for what you add to this already colorful and interesting world. Someone out there is thankful that you exist and for what you bring into their life.

Happy Thanksgiving to you all! I am thankful for all of you who read my blog posts and continue to support me. Enjoy and God bless!

The Frugal Files: Project Reach In...for the Holidays

2011-11-22T08:45:00.000-05:00

Hey there frugal folks!!

Last week I shared some ideas for you to plan your Black Friday adventure. So, hopefully you've mapped out your plan and you're ready to come out of the trenches and man your stations. Just a little advice: be safe out there. Be courteous to other frenzied shoppers. Watch where you're going and don't lollygag. Get your items quickly, move to the check out, then to the car. Watch out for strangers and be careful heading out.

I wouldn't go out at all that day if I didn't have to take my daughter to work. This will definitely be an experience for her, since she will be working TWO retail jobs that day. She is up for the challenge though.

Now, the other thing about this season is all the events that take place. There are a number of gatherings going on from now until early January, including holiday parties, family and friends gatherings, brunches, shopping sprees, concerts, fundraisers, community service events. You name it, it's going on this season.

Especially during this time of year, many people are concerned with good cheer, loved ones and the less fortunate. In order to accommodate all that's taking place, Frugalicious Diva encourages you to reach in your own life. In fact, we're going to call this challenge (because you know I love challenges) Project Reach In. The idea is that instead of shopping, since you're already doing that for others this season, that you shop at home. Here is what I mean...

Contrary to what the sales ads say, this season is not just about spending your money. It is also about giving. Community Service not only helps the community, but it does a soul good. In this branch of Project Reach In, I urge you to "reach in" your closet, your basement, your kid's rooms and donate items to the less fortunate. Your children will be getting new items this year, so why not clean up and donate their old toys. Samaritan's Purse organization sponsors a Build A Box project, where you pack a shoe box with a special personalized greeting in order to bless children all around the world.

Be not only a good global citizen, but a good neighbor. Reach In your deep freezer and purpose to prepare two meals; one for your family and one to share with your neighbor or a family from your church. I recently saw online a great organization Down For The Clause who is passing on blessings because they have been blessed. Feel free to Reach In your heart to donate or even create a cause in your own area. The more giving the better!!

At the family and friends gatherings, decide to potluck. Reach In your cupboards and pantries and make your favorite brunch dish to share with your loved ones. Do you have a bottle of wine you've been saving? Reach In your cellar and bring it as a host gift when you attend a catered party.

Now for concerts and more elegant parties. Instead of buying something new for each event, simply Reach In your closet and shop. My friend does a weekly fashion segment on her local news station called Style in the City wMissy and last week she featured her first plus size model (YAY!!) For the last two weeks she's addressed fashion for events. She encouraged adding color and heightened elegance by accessorizing. So remember that plain black dress in the back of closet? Pull it out, add a scarf for color, put on your patterned heels and incorporate some bling.

You already have everything you need to celebrate yourself and others this holiday season. Project Reach In is sure to be a success for you. Enjoy yourself and love others!!

Frugalicious Diva

Taking Care of You: It Comes From Within

2011-11-18T10:52:00.008-05:00

Two weeks ago, I talked about taking care of yourself health-wise and how that goes hand in hand with how you take care of yourself from within. This week, I want to talk more about taking care of yourself - however, this time it's about taking care of yourself from within since that is really the starting point in taking care of yourself overall.

Society paints this picture of what the standard is for a “normal” woman, how we SHOULD look like. That standard is not only unrealistic but honestly, it’s unattainable. I say that because we all come in different shapes and sizes. There is no one type of body shape. Some of us carry or gain weight on top, some on the bottom. Even thin women comes in different shapes and sizes. However, just because we cannot fit the standard does not mean we are abnormal. We are unique beings and we are all beautiful by our own right.

We have to first let go of that standard that has been drilled into our heads since birth. We have to stop thinking that the standard is thin or that skinny is beautiful. There is no standard. Most of the images we see in the media have been photoshopped and altered. As I already said, none of us are perfect. Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. Other people’s opinions of us don’t matter and shouldn’t matter. What matters is how we feel about ourselves. It’s not you – it’s them with the problem.

Someone will always have something to say but at the end of the day, we can’t equate their beliefs with our own happiness. Once you accept this, you will free yourself from that mess and be able to feel confident about who you are. Our view of ourselves controls how we feel about ourselves and subsequently treat ourselves. That is why building confidence and self-love is so imperative to having a successful and productive, happy life.

We all have parts of our bodies that we are not happy with. Sometimes it’s to a point where we loathe certain body parts. So first things first, you need to make peace with your body. You have to understand that no matter what your size, you are a beautiful person worthy of being happy. You have to realize that none of us are perfect. Know your worth, inside and out. Our flaws are what make us beautiful. I have a small c-shaped scar in that area under my nose and above my upper lip. I got the scar when I was 12 - my brother was playing with my dad's tools and swung a pair of pliers, which accidentally hit me in the face. I hated that scar for years until one day I decided that it was my scar and it gave me character and a story to tell. I also found out that the scar was not even noticeable to others until I mentioned it. Sometimes we make flaws seem bigger or worse than they really are. The world does not always see what we see. So really it's the power of the mind and how we choose to view those flaws.

Instead of focusing solely on those body parts you loathe, focus on the parts of you that you love at that moment. Take it one day at a time. Look in the mirror and admire that feature. I know for me, I love my hair. It is truly my crowning glory. I will spend quality time in the mirror, flipping my hair or trying new barrettes or headbands in it. My hair makes me feel good. When you admire a feature like this, over time you will develop a habit of admiring yourself, appreciating those features and celebrating YOU. It’s about changing how your mind works, which will change your view over time.

Now for those body parts you loathe, you can use the same concept too but in a slightly different fashion. Each day, focus on one body part at a time and come up with one positive thing to say about that body part or feature. I will admit that this is going to be hard at first but once you develop this habit of doing this over and over again, you will eventually change your mind about those body parts for the better.

Fashion is another great way to boost your confidence. We tend to hide behind clothing to cover up parts of ourselves we don’t love. Some of us think if we wear baggy clothes that our lumps, bumps and imperfections will all be hidden. While you may be hiding your body parts by swimming in your clothing, you are not flattering your body at all. And you wonder why you are not feeling 100% confident? Who would feel happy wearing unflattering, ill-fitting clothes? Think about it.

It’s as easy as this…buy clothes that fit. You’d be surprised at how clothes that fit you well will flatter your body. And don’t wait until you have lost 50 pounds to wear that dress you have been eyeing. Wear it now. Trust me, it will give you such a spirit boost and a pep in your step. If you love what you’re wearing and rock it, the world is going to love it too. When having a bad day at the mirror, dressing yourself up can also help get you through that day and help you strengthen your positive mindset on your body.

In the end, it starts within. It starts with the belief in yourself and your beauty. You just have to keep pushing through. Don’t give up. You might fail at times but at least you tried. Everyone’s confidence wavers from day to day. We are all works in progress. But if we keep at it, we will succeed more than we fail. Once you’re happy with yourself, the world will be a better place – opportunities will open up to you, people will be more receptive to you and your energy will be off the charts. When you love yourself, you feel confident and that makes you want to achieve your dreams even more.

Think of it this way: there is only one you in this world. That in itself is pretty empowering. And you have the choice and power to make you the best YOU possible. Life is all about enjoying the now since tomorrow is not promised to us. Wouldn't you want to live the best life possible and enjoy it now? I know I do!

Be proud, be inspired to be you.

The Frugal Files: It's Black Friday Time!!

2011-11-15T07:46:00.000-05:00

Hey there frugalicious folks!!

Just stopping by to share some info with you!! So, Veteran's Day just past and I hope you were able to honor and recognize the many service men and women who fought and continue to fight for our freedoms!! In addition to honoring them, I saw that many businesses were honoring them with discounts!! We also got some discounts. I went to both Savers in my area for the 50% off sale. They were CROWDED!! For $16, I walked away with NEW clothes: I got two denim jackets, one was colored and three tops that fit nicely into my wardrobe.

All during that day I also noticed all the sales circulars!! It's officially that time!! It's Black Friday time!!

I have never personally participated in Black Friday sales on Black Friday, but admire people who do; their tenacity to shop amongst the frenzy in the streets. My cousins and aunts participate every year. I asked them what makes them successful; they have a plan. You can't just go out to stores on Black Friday all willy-nilly. You must have a strategy to ensure you are in the right place at the right time and that you actually get what you want.

Anyone who plans on shopping Black Friday with them MUST attend the "Sales Flyer Party". The first thing they do is gather all the resources; meaning all the circulars that typically show up right about now. They scour every page and mark the items they want or the items they know someone else wants. They discard of the circulars they don't need, then make a list of stores they will be hitting early that morning.

Next, they determine the times of the sales. This is helpful because they want to be there early as possible, as well as maximize the limited time in the stores. Then they map the route, based on the sale times to make sure all the items are covered. Lastly, they coordinate teams to make sure each store, time and sale is covered. For the larger chains they send each team out for specific items. That way not just one person is responsible for finding many things, but several people are responsible for finding just a few items each.

Now that the information is gathered and everyone has their assignments, they do a trial run to the major stores. This is when each team or representative finds the area where their items will be placed on that Friday morning. They even mark it with distinctive tape so they will remember and see it. They do take a gamble here, because the employees could remove it, but it's worked in their favor the last few years.

This is the most detailed plan I have ever heard of for something like Black Friday. I am so amazed at them and admire them for doing it every year. I have said I wanted to participate, but I just can't seem to commit. They do very well every year too, as they always get what they intend to!!

You now have some inspiration, so go and create your own plan; one that will maximize the savings you'll receive on Black Friday. In fact, one of my frugalicious challenges to you this year is to ONLY shop on Black Friday....okay, you can even include Cyber Monday and make it a weekend thing. Make these your only shopping days and you're done before December even gets here.

To help you out, I just wanted to share some links of Black Friday sales I've seen, thanks to some of the most frugalicious bloggers and couponers I know. Feel free to have your own Sales Flyer Party!!

Walmart

Sam's Club

Best Buy

If you're really into it and want to see other stores ads, check out the Black Friday sites like this one: http://www.2011blackfridayads.com/

Don't get overwhelmed and shop at every store, but do choose what's best for you and take care of it now!! Then, sit back and enjoy your December, free from the holiday shopping frenzy in the stores. Happy Shopping!!

Frugalicious Diva

Weekly Motivation 11.13.11

2011-11-13T09:00:00.000-05:00

"Chase down your passion
like it's the last bus of the night."
~Terri Guillemets

Believing in You, Part 2

2011-11-10T08:00:00.010-05:00

"It’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not.” ~ Author Unknown

Two weeks ago, I talked about believing in your beauty, which affects what energy you project out to the world and how others see your beauty. Confidence is everything. Now I want to talk about believing in yourself. Believing in yourself means believing in your greatness and your value to the world. Believing in your beauty is important but believing in yourself is imperative to living a great, happy and productive life.

Today marks 7 months since my dad passed away. It is also what would have been his 62nd birthday. The one thing about my dad that always amazed me was how he always believed in me and what I could do in this life. He believed in me when I didn't believe in myself. Sure, he's my dad and I am his only daughter so of course, he's going to think the world of his baby girl. But it went farther than that. His belief in my greatness wasn't just because I was his daughter. He truly believed I was destined for greatness. I was extremely lucky to have a father like him. He taught me so much that shaped me into the person I am today. I am not perfect but I am happy with who I am. I know my greatness and I believe in myself.

I think that the secret to life is that simple. You just have to believe. You have to believe in you; believe what you can do in this life. If you believe it, it can happen. Think of all the possibilities out there. If you can dream it, you can believe in it. Now I know you must be saying, “Well, that’s easier said than done.” That is true. However, would you rather let your setbacks and disappointments make your life one that never goes anywhere? Or would you rather be in the driving seat of your life and make it great? We only have 1 life to live and the choice is yours.

We all have setbacks and disappointments in our lives that have made us feel like it is never going to get better. But the key to getting through that and believing that something better is on the horizon is to recognize those setbacks and disappointments for what are: They are moments in time that test our strength and teach us a lesson. They are moments in time that are preparing us for the bigger picture.

Belief gives you determination. It gives you that strength to push through and keep going. When you believe in what you can do in this life and your value to the world, your view of life completely changes. It’s as if you then understand that everything happens for a reason; that the choices you make will have an outcome. Not all outcomes will be the ones that you want but it just means that, that outcome was not meant to be and there is a better one out there waiting. When one door closes, I believe a better, bigger door opens.

To truly be able to believe in yourself, you cannot listen to what others are saying. The only opinion that is important is yours and not others. You should never give others the power over your self-belief. Some people may have failed at a challenge that you are attempting and they may feel some kind of way. That’s their issue, not yours. There will always be naysayers. What counts is how you deal with those naysayers. Again, it’s your choice.

I know it’s scary to tackle a great challenge or put yourself out there but honestly, it is better to try than not try at all. If you fail, you learn the lesson and move on. But there is a chance you may succeed and you won’t know if you’re going to succeed unless you try. When you accept that failing is a way to learn the lesson, it’s like viewing a failure as actually winning. If you learn from your mistakes, the next time you try, your chances of being successful are even greater because you have learned from your mistakes.

Life is all about challenging yourself. When you believe in yourself, you feel fearless and feel that you can do anything you set your mind to. Believing in yourself means not being afraid to go out and attempt what you have been told is impossible.

A few years ago, I went to Hong Kong, China with my best friend Herman. I love Asian culture and have a fascination with Buddha. On Lantau Island at the Po Lin Monastery sits the largest seated bronze Buddha statue in the world. And it is said that it’s good luck to touch Buddha. However, you have to climb like 20 flights of stairs to get to Buddha.

We get there and it’s like 105 degrees, sun blaring. Herman takes one look at the stairs and then looks at me and says, “There is no way you’re going up there. It's too much.” Here I am, overweight and not in the best shape so of course, he’s thinking there is no way she is climbing 20 flights of stairs in the blazing heat and he is concerned, ready to throw in the towel. I just replied, “You’re wrong. I’m doing it.” If someone tells me I can’t do something, that just gets me fired up to do it even more. And I did it. It was extremely hot and exhausting. But I was determined to touch Buddha and I believed that I could do it. That belief is what got me up those stairs.

In life, there will always be that 20-stair moment. You can’t let the height of the challenge intimidate you or make you feel like you can’t do it. Believe in yourself and you can do it. When I would tell my dad that I felt I couldn’t do something, he’d look at me like I was crazy and say “Marce, stop it. You know you can do it. It’s a given.” Thank you, Daddy for believing in me even when I didn’t believe in myself.

So dear readers, look in the mirror and speak the following affirmation out into the universe:

“I believe in myself and can do anything I set my mind to because I am valuable to this world.”

And then get out there and start making your dreams a reality! You can do it! Just believe!

The Frugal Files: In the Short-Term

2011-11-08T08:32:00.001-05:00

Hey there folks!!

The Frugalicious Diva is back for another week!! Can you believe 2011 is almost coming to an end? It seems the year went by so quickly, but I thought before the year ended they we might a jumpstart on our goals for 2012. So, this week we are going to begin to think about our short-term goals. Short-term goals are good to update periodically. For the sake of this conversation, it can be whatever you want to accomplish within the next three months.

In order to make this a fun exercise, we’re going to play a little game. I’m always looking for a new challenge; something that will challenge the mind and spark our creative interests. This is how it goes: I’ll give you a category and you write down what goals you have in the short term.

In order to help you get started, I will give you examples of goals, an action step or plan and an affirmation to keep you motivated.

Saving:

Goal: Save $500 in either an Emergency Fund or a Living Expense Fund

Action Step: Set up an Automatic Savings draft from your checking account to the bank account that houses this Fund.

Affirmation: “I am grateful that income is CONSTANTLY increasing.”

An Emergency Fund is money you put away for emergencies ONLY; situations like car or home needs. Many financial experts suggest you keep a minimum of $1000 in this fund. We’re just getting started, so $500 is better than $0.

A Living Expense Fund is the money you put away for rainy period; for instance if you lost your employment for some reason. The amount you save here should be a minimum of six months worth of you EXPENSES. So add up your rent/mortgage, utilities, groceries and any other regular expenses you have for one month and multiply that figure by six. That’s how much you should have in that fund. It is only used if you have a loss of income, so you can still stay afloat.

Debt Busting:

Goal: Pay off one debt (preferably the easiest one to pay in three months)

Action Step: For the next three months, give up one habit that will yield you enough money to pay off your debt (i.e. skip the beverage, dining out or monthly shopping trip) Put what you would have spent on your debt to pay it off.

Affirmation: “I am grateful I can pay bills and I do so with love and happiness.”

Declutter:

Goal: Clear out the junk in my basement

Action Step: Make a list of items of which to dispose and put it on Freecycle for them to take away and clear this space.

Affirmation: “I am making room for only abundance in my life and my home.”

Give:

Goal: Give a monthly blessing to someone else.

Action Step: Donate to your favorite charity or give someone something you know they could use and will appreciate. You can share what you already have.

Affirmation: “I give knowing that I will receive.” or “I am sharing my prosperity with others because I know that it is more blessed to give than to receive.”

Frugalicious:

I added this category because often times when we set goals for ourselves, it’s usually to do something we need to be doing. Well, being the Frugalicious Diva, I say we NEED to be living our life to the fullest. It’s not just about work, it’s us enjoying ourselves too. With that said, choose something fun or interesting that you can accomplish in 3 months.

Goal: Take a Belly Dancing class

Action Step: Look in your city’s art/music district or newspaper and look for an affordable class to learn something new and exciting.

Affirmation: “I am awakening my mind to the prospect of prosperity in every area of my life.”

See, it’s easy to set your goals!! Now, it’s time to implement them; one step at a time. Say your affirmations, believe them and watch how your life changes positively. You can reach any goal you set out to achieve. Wishing you the best!!

Frugalicious Diva

Follow Me on Twitter @FrugaliciousDva

Taking Care of YOU

2011-11-03T08:00:00.001-04:00

It’s Day #5 of me giving up soda. When I tell people that I have given up soda, they assume I have done so to lose weight. Actually, that’s not why. I have a heart murmur and I noticed that when I drank soda heavily, it started making me have heart palpitations. I lost my dad six months ago because of a sudden heart attack so those palpitations scared me straight.

I miss soda but I love myself more and am not trying to go into cardiac arrest. It’s just not worth it. I just get annoyed when people assume it’s for diet reasons. Just because I am a big girl does not mean I am spending my waking moments dieting. I just want to live healthier. If I lose weight (which I know I will since my calorie intake will be less minus the soda), it will be an added bonus. But that is not my main focus here.

What I have learned in my life, as a big girl, is that before you can make any lasting permanent changes to yourself on the outside, you have to be happy with you from the start. I know it sounds like an oxymoron because if you’re happy with you, why would you want to change? But honestly, change is good for the soul and even when you are happy with you, you’re not perfect. There is always room for improvement and we are all works in progress. So I have the attitude that while I think I am fabulous, I know I can always better myself.

No one is born with confidence, just as no one sets out to be fat. Confidence is built over time just as weight is gained. Confidence and being big are not factors that easily go hand in hand. It takes hard work, being honest with yourself and truly coming to terms with who you are in the present moment. Easier said than done. But if you can learn to be comfortable in your own skin, life becomes such a different experience.

Sometimes we’re too hard on ourselves. We’re our own worst critics. We nitpick and scrutinize little flaws and we begin to loathe those parts of us. The thing is when you loathe yourself in any way, even if it’s a small part of you, no matter how much you change that part of you, you will always find something else to loathe. It is a vicious never-ending cycle. This is why so many of us yo-yo diet. We diet for the wrong reasons. Many times it’s for reasons that are not truly for our well-being. Until you can be comfortable in your skin as you are right this minute and make the decision to not diet but live a healthy lifestyle, you will continue to yo-yo diet.

Dieting is something all of us can relate to. We have all dieted at least once in our lives. My dieting history started at the age of 10. When the doctor told my parents that I was 20 pounds overweight for my height and age, I was shipped off to live with my aunt. My aunt promised that she would put me on a strict diet and I would be 20 pounds lighter in no time. That was when my yo-yo dieting began. I came home 20 pounds lighter but ended up gaining it all back.

As strange as it sounds, for me, dieting was not about vanity back then. I always knew of my beauty and never felt ugly. I really think that was because of my dad, who taught me so much in terms of being your own person and knowing your worth. That allowed my confidence to build. So I never truly hit rock bottom when it came to dieting or food. It was just that constant yo-yo because all I knew was that being fat was something I was not supposed to be.

There is a huge difference between dieting and living a healthy lifestyle. Dieting is something we do for immediate results but they are not lasting results. Can you really live on microwaveable dinners or shakes for the rest of your life? Let’s be honest here…no you can’t. Eventually, you will get hungry for some real food and will fall off the dieting wagon. That’s what got us into this yo-yo dieting mess in the first place.

A healthy lifestyle is not something that just thin people have. Big people can live healthy too. We are all not meant to be a size 2. We all come in different shapes and sizes. It’s all about being comfortable in your skin and then making a commitment to eat right and exercise…to make that a lifestyle and not just some temporary kick-start type of diet to lose weight quickly. Trust me, once you start your healthy lifestyle, the weight will come off. You might not become a size 2 nor will the weight come off overnight but I promise you, you will feel better about yourself.

My dad, the wonderful man he was, always told me that what counts is what’s in your heart. And your size does not define how big or great your heart is. But you also have to take care of that heart. We get so focused on changing our outer selves that we forget that we need to make sure our inner selves are healthy too. The first step is to look in the mirror right now and tell yourself “I love you”. If you can do that, you’re halfway there. If you can’t, it’s time to be real with yourself and start working on that. Because if you don’t love yourself, how are you going to be the best you can be inside and out?

The Frugal Files: Seeking Abundance? Write Away!!

2011-11-01T06:00:00.004-04:00

Hey folks!!

I try to find the significance and reason for my every experience. I learned a long time ago, that EVERYTHING happens for the reason. The previously frustrating thing about that fact is that we don’t always initially know the reason. Sometimes we never find out, but I’ve learned to trust that is it ALWAYS for my good, directly or indirectly.

I’d done some non-profit film work for a friend of mine I’ve known for years. We worked together years ago. I was happy to do it because I’m interested in both building my acting resume and community service. It was a good match. As a small token of appreciation, she gave me this beautiful yellow journal. It has brown pages, which remind me of parchment. It was bound with a cute lilac ribbon. As much as I cherished the thought and gift, I didn’t know what to do with it. As a writer and lifetime creative, I have tons of notebooks and journals. Here’s another one for the pile.

You know, I ALMOST gave it away in a freecycle giveaway, but I couldn’t bear to part with it…for some reason. I wasn’t sure of that reason, until recently. I belong to a Yahoo group called Million Dollar Manifesting Circle. I get quite a bit of mail from that group, but my own participation has become nonexistent. I receive the emails, but barely read them. One early morning, I’m about to delete them, when I got an unction to keep these specific emails. So I open them to read.

There, I was given instructions…to build and bring in wealth. The idea of an Abundance Journal was presented; for me it was born. I found a purpose for my new journal. It is my Abundance Journal. If you have a special notebook or even a bunch of scrap paper, it doesn’t matter. Start your Abundance Journal and journey today. You know anything I share, I’ve tried, or I invite you to do it right along with me. We’re all finding our way to wealth and frugalicous living!!

Here are some instructions to using our journals, many thanks to the Manifesting Circle. They are simple and easy to follow. The rest is up to you. You define your own way to wealth. It’s three painless steps:

1) Write down how you are and have been focusing on abundance.

For instance, what did you attract today or this week? In my Frugal Sisters Yahoo group, I found I was already recording this in our daily ‘What three frugal things did you do today?” prompt. My examples are: I found money on the ground; I received an item I wanted from freecycle; I used a coupon I was given for a free sample of my favorite perfume.

2) Meditation: Think about it and Receive it

I know this word sometimes has an intimidating connotation, mostly because we often associate meditation with gurus who do so for hours. I’m not necessarily suggesting that. I am suggesting that you take time to focus on wealth and abundance, even if just for a few moments. This is our way of believing that what we desire is possible. It’s where we envision ourselves in a more abundant state. We can see how we’re abundant; feel it. If we can conceive it, we can achieve it.

3) Attitude of Gratitude

I added this one because it’s so important to me and hopefully to you. It’s here that we learn to truly appreciate all that is manifesting in our lives. The more grateful you are, the more you will receive for which to be grateful. It’s that simple. Abundance and prosperity is available to ALL of us, if we want it. When you began to see it unfold, mind our manners. Even as children, we were taught to say, “Thank you.” It is always the polite thing to do.

So now, we’ve learned to Ask, Believe and Receive with gratitude. Our affirmation this week is this profound one; a fortune cookie quote I saw in a Feng Shui book: “You and your world are the product of your thoughts.”

Now, go and write yourself into abundance!!

Frugalicious Diva

For more affirmations and abundance inspiration

follow me on Twitter @FrugaliciousDva

The Scene: "Chelsea Settles"...Are You Watching?

2011-10-31T08:00:00.000-04:00

Chelsea Settles airs at 10pm ET on MTV.

A few weeks ago, I told you about a new reality series coming to MTV entitled "Chelsea Settles". Since it's debut on October 11, the plus community is buzzing with commentary about the show and it's new heroine.
For those unfamiliar with the show, it follows 23 year old Chelsea Settles as she makes the decision to leave her family behind in Pittsburgh, PA and move to Los Angeles to follow her dreams of working in the fashion industry. While the show begins with her worrying about her weight, it has, in just three epsisodes transformed to a show featuring a twenty-something young woman learning exactly who she is, and exactly how much she can do if she just believes in herself.

A lot of people have been trying to compare "Big Sexy" with "Chelsea Settles", and I am not sure I'm liking the idea of doing so. While both are shows about plus size women, I connected so much more with Chelsea Settles. When I watch her struggle with how people view her, when I see her crying because of people making fun of her, when I see her struggling with very difficult life decisions, I see so much of myself in her. I remember being the only plus size one of my friends in High School. While I myself cannot relate to wanting to be a model or working in thev plus modeling industry, I can relate to wondering if I am not getting a job because of my size. I also, however, do think that while it is easy to paint a "oh, it's LA, and they won't hire anyone plus size to work in fashion retail out there" picture on the situation, I do agree with one sales associate when she said that Chelsea needs a bit more "polish". Going to an interview with black nail polish is a no-no that one learns with age and experience, and has nothing to do with size. Overall, it is refreshing to see a young woman going for her dreams, and even when she feels fearful of a situation, she pushes through it and does it anyway. Bravo for Chelsea!
Have you watched Chelsea Settles? What do you think of the show? If you are liking the show as much as I am, be sure to like the offficial Chelesa Settles fan page on Facebook and let them know how you feel about the show. Check out this exclusive online clip, and be sure to tune in when Chelsea Settles airs on Tuesdays at 10pm ET on MTV.

Get More: Chelsea Settles, Full Episodes

All Eyez On...:Chenese Lewis

2011-10-28T09:00:00.001-04:00

The month of October is a great month that talks to not just Halloween but breast cancer awareness and self-love/body acceptance. In honor of that, we end the month with our feature interview with Chenese Lewis. Her career resume spans from plus size pageantry and modeling to public speaking and acting. However, most importantly, she is a advocate for body acceptance and an icon in the plus size community. She continues to inspire, not just plus size women, but women everywhere. I had the pleasure of talking to her about some important events she had during October and more...

Hi Chenese! “Love Your Body Day” happened on October 22, for which you are the creator and producer for your local chapter in Los Angeles, CA (in the Hollywood area). Please tell us more about this wonderful event.
Love Your Body Day was launched by the National Organization for Women (NOW) in 1998. I joined Hollywood NOW and created an event for my local chapter. This year marks my 6^th year producing Hollywood NOW’s Love Your Body Day, which over the years has gotten bigger and bigger from a one day event to a whole weekend of events.

Are there any other chapters/cities that hold their own “Love Your Body Day”?
Yes, there are Love Your Body Day events across the country that are organized by other NOW chapters or on college campuses; they just aren’t as big and highly publicized as mine, so some might not be aware of something already going on in their town.

You are also the spokesperson for BEDA, which stands for: Binge Eating Disorder Association. How did that come about and what does that mean to you?
I am really excited to be the spokesperson for such a wonderful organization! Before getting involved with this organization, it had never crossed my mind that a plus size woman could have an eating disorder, and there wasn’t any awareness in the plus size community about it. Every time I got invited to an eating disorder event, it was always focused on Anorexia and Bulimia and I always associated eating disorders with very thin women. Binge eating disorder is the most common eating disorder and there are a lot of plus size women that have it. As the BEDA Spokesperson, I will help increase awareness around unrealistic “body-perfect” ideals, binge eating disorder and several associated conditions, including compulsive and emotional eating, and food addiction.

Chenese, you were the first crowned Miss Plus America in 2003 without any prior pageant experience or formal training. To me, that just really shows that anything is possible if you want it bad enough and are willing to pursue those dreams. So what inspired you to enter that pageant?
I was searching online for opportunities in plus size modeling, at the time I was still living in Louisiana and I was looking for exposure. I stumbled upon the Miss Plus America pageant on-line and was excited to find there was something going on that wasn’t too far from my hometown. I was inspired reading about the women who had already entered the pageant and just inspired about having a platform that celebrated plus size women.

Do you feel that pageant was the springboard for your successful career in modeling, public speaking, hosting and acting? You are such a wonderful advocate and icon for positive body image. What advice would you give curvy girls who are trying to break into the plus model business and/or plus pageantry world?
The pageant title was not necessarily a springboard for my career, since I was the first to hold the title, no one knew much about it beforehand. So in addition to promoting myself, I had to create awareness about the pageant. However it definitely gave me something different and unique to use to market myself to get attention, and I worked it to my advantage. The plus model business and plus pageantry are two different worlds, in my opinion. A pageant title won’t help you book modeling jobs if you don’t have what it takes. I think the pageant title is good for those looking to be advocates about their platforms.

Plus Model Magazine coined you “A Leader in the Curvy Revolution” and Project Curve Appeal calls you the “Plus Size It Girl”. What do these titles mean to you?
I’m very honored to be thought of that highly by my peers, it really means a lot. So often we tear each other down instead of lifting each other up, like we should. It means a lot for someone to take the time to recognize you in a positive way, rather it’s an award or just a few kind words, I’m grateful for it all and don’t take it for granted. Sometimes even the motivator needs motivating!

What are your thoughts on the reality show “Big Sexy”? Did you feel it was an accurate portrayal of the life of a plus size woman trying to break into the fashion world? Do you think the show helps the mainstream public to see plus size women in a more positive light?
I loved the show! I don’t think every plus size woman’s story is the same, and I think they had a diverse set of women with different personalities and life experiences. I think the show helped show plus size women in a positive light, which is what we are all fighting for, and I think it was a win for not only the women on the show but the entire plus size community. I hope it helps to open doors for more diversity on television.

Who inspires you in the plus size/curvy community?
All of the women in the community inspire me that are confident and living their lives to the fullest! However my ultimate inspiration comes from women in mainstream media like Oprah and Queen Latifah.

You also launched Plus Model Radio in early 2008 and it is currently the #1 podcast for plus size women. What does Plus Model Radio cover?
PLUS Model Radio covers everything for curvy women, including up close and personal conversations with a wide range of industry experts. On the show I interview the who’s who of the plus size community, and give the audience an inside look into the industry. Guests include top plus size models, actresses, designers, reality stars, etc.
You were honored by Project Curve Appeal with a Curvy Icon award during the 2011 Pink City Sisterhood Conference, held in Atlanta, GA this year, Sept 30-Oct 2. Congratulations on that! Very well deserved. Please tell us more about the Curvy Icon award and what it means to you.
I was honored with the Curvy Icon Award for my dedication and work within the plus size community for over 10 years. I’m honored to be recognized in such a way, and like I said before I’m grateful for those in the community that support my work in any way.

You also hosted this year’s Rock The Runway (an event for women of all sizes) earlier this month and will host the Miss Plus Top Model Awards on October 30th. You’ve accomplished so much and continue to inspire and empower curvy women everywhere. What’s next for you?
I am blessed to have so many events on my schedule, but there is always room for more! I have hosting events already being scheduled for 2012 around the country, as well as acting and spokesperson projects in the works.

What advice and wisdom would you offer to plus size women everywhere who may need some words of encouragement or help with accepting and loving themselves at the size they currently are?
I would tell anyone who is feeling down about their size to quit critiquing your body, sometimes we can be our own worst critics, no one is perfect. They should start focusing on the things they like about their self instead and what other qualities and skills they have to offer the world besides their physical appearance. Work on being healthy rather than obsessing over being a certain size. At the end of the day, it’s the size of your heart that matters, not the size of your body.

(Photos courtesy of cheneselewis.com and missplusamerica.com)
Visit Chenese on-line at http://www.cheneselewis.com/ or tune into Plus Model Radio at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/plusmodelradio.
For more information on some of the events or organizations mentioned above, please check out:

Love Your Body Day: http://loveyourbodyday.com/
BEDA: http://www.bedaonline.com/
Miss Plus Top Models Awards: http://www.missplustopmodels.com/
Rock The Runway: http://werocktherunway.com/
Project Curve Appeal: http://www.projectcurveappeal.com/
Miss Plus America: http://www.missplusamerica.com/

Believing in You

2011-10-27T08:00:00.002-04:00

”In order to be beautiful, you have to believe you're beautiful.” ~ Nina Flowers, Drag Queen, RuPaul's Drag Race

I think drag queens are beautiful. They take a lot of heat from society because of their sexuality and the idea that men should not dress like women. Society tends to box us into certain groups and label us, which honestly stifles our freedom to be who we are. Even the most confident have moments of insecurity and question themselves.

However, no matter what your opinion is on homosexuality and drag queens, we can all take a lesson from them. They are confident, bold and make no apologies for who they are. It takes a lot of guts to be a man, dressing as a woman in a world where that is deemed “abnormal”. However, they believe in themselves and in their beauty. That’s what fuels their courage and empowers them to dare to be different. The lesson here is simple: Believe in your beauty.

Last week, I had two profound moments. One being Oprah’s Lifeclass Thursday evening, which Ms. Aja B. wrote a great blog post about last week. It was such an important message:

You are responsible for the energy you bring into a room. You are also responsible for energy you project out because what you project out is what you get in return.

That episode of Oprah’s Lifeclass really hit me like a ton of bricks. It’s amazing what happens when you realize that you are in control of the situation. When you walk in a room, you are making a decision on how that room is going to respond to you, whether you know it or not. You are in control of the energy you share with the world which determines what energy you get in return. Lastly, you decide who you let into your space and life. If you choose to deal with “energy suckers”, that is your choice and no one else’s. This stayed with me all day Friday and so forth to even this moment.

On Friday night, I had a get-together to go to and before I walked in the room, I made the decision to walk in there, shining bright. While at this get-together, I meet this woman, who is a friend of a friend. She had such great energy but somehow had sad eyes. And it felt like she was drawn to me because she just came over to me and honestly, started telling me her business.

Now this is not the first time this has happened to me. I have had complete strangers come up to me in places like the subway and the airport, telling me their life’s story. I jokingly tell my friends that I am like Lucy Van Pelt from Peanuts – I even own a small figurine of Lucy sitting in her psychiatric booth, charging 5 cents for her services.

Anyway, this woman really touched my heart because she reminded me of myself many years ago. She started telling me how after having a few kids and getting older, she has gained a little weight that has been hard to lose. We all know this feeling. That last 20 pounds or whatever – it just doesn’t come off as easily as it once did. Our bodies change as we age, give birth, etc. Unfortunately, these changes are a part of life.

She continues on, telling me that her husband constantly puts her down, tells her that she is fat and ugly, especially when they argue. It really got to me because your spouse, of all people, should uplift you and love you for who you are, not tear you down. These comments from her husband now has her feeling like she is ugly and fat, hence her sad eyes.

It reminded me of a past relationship from 20 years ago, where my ex was in the “skinny” closet. He secretly loved my size but didn’t want the public to know he was with a big girl. So we dated in secret and he would always tell me how he wished I wasn’t so big because then he could be seen with me and not be embarrassed. He would make me feel like it was my fault that we couldn’t be a normal couple out in the open. It was one of those things where I was still new to the dating game and yearned for someone to like me. I was not as confident as I am today. But there was always this inner voice in my head, telling me I deserved more. I gathered up the courage to leave him, even though I didn’t want to be alone. At the time, I thought I would never be able to find another man who would like me. I was so wrong.

As life would have it, my path took many turns, which shaped me into who I am today: a beautiful, confident big girl who believes in her beauty and knows her worth. It has not been an easy journey but I am a work in progress and know I am walking in the right direction.

So I spoke from the heart when I told this woman at the party that she has to believe in herself, believe in her beauty. That her outer contents do not define her beauty, it’s what’s in her heart that matters. I also told her that perhaps she needs to re-evaluate her life, her marriage… talk to her husband and let him know that it is not okay to put her down. Again, as Oprah said, we are responsible for the people we let in our space so we are responsible when we let those people treat us any kind of way. I wasn’t telling her to leave her husband because in the end, that’s her choice and not my place. However, she has the power to change her life and it all starts with believing. That is the message I was trying to get across to her.

I gained a friend that night and I truly believe part of it was the energy I brought into the room and part of it was fate. I hope she learned the lesson. If you’re reading this and going through something similar, I hope you learned the lesson too. As Nina Flowers said, in order to be beautiful, you have to believe you are beautiful. So take responsibility for your life today and start believing. Trust me, it’ll change your life.

Would you like to tell Marcy your life story or sit at her psychiatric booth? She can be reached at marcyc19@gmail.com. The doctor is in! :)

The Frugal Files: Externally Beautiful...I'm Doing Me!!

2011-10-25T06:00:00.008-04:00

Hey there Frugalicious ones!!

I hope you took advantage of great deals and coupons last week!! Your family will definitely thank you for all that you do now and later for them. So between using coupons, increasing your investments in your 401k and securing a financial advisor, you are setting them up for a great life. That is a true gift.

Now, this week, you'll be happy to know we're going back to thinking about you!! I know it's sometimes difficult for us to think about ourselves, especially when we have families, bills and jobs to think about. Women, particularly don't always take the time to do something nice for ourselves; we make ourselves last. Not this week!! We are bringing our sexy back and doing it FRUGALICIOUSLY!!

So, during this last full week of October, we're going to end the LIFE series with "E", which stands for External. Two weeks ago, we focused on the Internal, so it's to be expected that we work on the outside too.
Although we're calling it External, this week's theme is a tribute to living life DIY Style. DIY means Do It Yourself, which is how we can keep it frugal.

Challenge #1: Produce your own Beauty and Pampering salon. With all the information available on the internet, especially YouTube, we can learn and teach ourselves how to do everything. Makes a list of beauty regimens that you love and set out to do them yourself. Perform your own manicures or pedicures. If you have a significant other, make it a date with them to indulge in those treatments. Make your own body scrub. Don't know where to look, try these recipes: Homemade Body Scrubs You can find all the ingredients right at home.

Challenge #2: Attempt a new hair style. My DIY beauty project for this week is to trim my own hair. I love that my hair is natural because it affords me the opportunity to have so many options for my hair. I can style it countless ways and after finding numerous tutorials online, I find it easy to follow along and get a nice style. I challenge you to do it too. Join me in making my own Shea butter creme; this will keep the hair soft, moisturized and manageable. That's the biggest benefit for me because my hair tangles easily.

If you want to take on this challenge, follow my FAVORITE natural hair YouTuber's recipe here: Natural Homemade Shea Butter Cremes

So we're ending this great month of LIFE challenges by checking hair and pampering off our list; valuing our true Diva selves this week. What else can we achieve? I know!! Let's revisit frugal fitness!!

Challenge #3: Set out to spark your interest with a fresh outlook on physical activity. Try an unorthodox exercise; something that will make you feel pretty or sexy. Here are my ideas:
- Belly Dancing
- Pole Dancing
- Hula Hooping
- Yoga
- Salsa

I was recently given two exercise videos from Freecycle, and I'm trying them out this week: Yoga Booty Ballet. It looks like it's fun, easy to follow and will give great fitness results without me looking bulky. It struck me as a truly feminine workout, so I know it will make you feel like a woman. You can get yours free too. Pull out your library card and check them out!!

So, you have your instructions, so face the week and all it's challenges, then come home and put yourself first!! Here's an affirmation to remind you that you are beautiful and worthy of being first!! Enjoy!!

"Everyday, I practice feeling beautiful and I am a beautiful person inside and out."

Frugalicious Diva

Weekly Motivation 10.23.11: A Lesson On Responsibility

2011-10-23T08:00:00.000-04:00

Have you been watching Oprah's Life Class on OWN (The Oprah Winfrey Network)? If you have not been, and you have been feeling (like I have for awhile) that you are trying to "figure it all out", then you really should consider tuning in.

While I always learn from watching Oprah Winfrey and her all around fabulosity, Lesson 9 this week slapped me square in the face at a time I needed it most. For the past few weeks, I had been letting the thoughts and actions of everyone around me sour my mood. I was allowing other people's negative energy to creep right into my own soul and marinate. Many tears flowed, many stress headaches ensued, and I was wallowing in a very unhealthy dose of "why me?"

It was watching Lesson 9, entitled "You're Responsible For Your Life" that gave me the reminder that I needed. Especially in hearing the story of Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor and the evolution of her now famous quote, "Please be responsible for the energy you bring into this space." It was a reminder that regardless of the energy that others put off, I, and I alone, am the only person responsible for what I put out into the world. I am always telling the members of the Community Center I work for, "What you put out into the world is what you will get back into the world." As is (unfortunately) often the case with me, however, I was not practicing what I preached.

Between the quote and this clip from another one of my favorite business women, Ms. Paula Deen ("hey y'all!") I was brought to my own personal "aha moment". In the clip, Oprah asks Paula how she went from being a caterer who started with only $200 to having a $20 million dollar enterprise. Paula's answer: "So much of it has to do with God's generosity. I made a commitment to work and [God] blessed it."

Belle-Noir.com blogger and Belle-Noir Magazine writer, the Frugalicious Diva, has made me a believer in affirmations. So, I wanted to share with you the affirmation that I drew from Oprah's Life Class this week as this week's Weekly Motivation. I hope you will try it out and let me know if it is working for you, as it already has been for me.

My affirmation and motivation for this week:
"I accept responsibility for what happens to me and for me."

Plus size retailers/boutiques offering regular sizes: Good or bad?

2011-10-20T16:51:00.006-04:00

Recently, I saw a question posted online that sparked my interest. The question was:

How would you feel if a plus size boutique or store added regular sizes to their collection, expanding the size range downward to a size 4?

As a size 26-28 and often a “forgotten” woman when it comes to plus size clothing retailers, I felt this was a topic worthy of discussion. In a time and age where mainstream retailers are discontinuing their plus size lines altogether or just offering them online, it troubles me that now we have to contend with plus size retailers…“our” retailers, toying with the idea of becoming mainstream. Not to mention the fact that many plus size retailers don’t offer past a size 24. While I understand that these retailers feel that this could be a lucrative move for their business, there are some important factors that should be looked at.

There are many thin women who don’t want to shop at a plus size brick and mortar (B & M) store:

I personally have a friend who would not be caught dead inside of a Lane Bryant or any plus size store because she does not want to be perceived as being plus size. Mind you, she wears a size 14, which is considered plus size in retail. But she would rather shop in Marshall’s or TJ Maxx where she feels there isn’t that stigma of shopping in a “big girl” store. Believe it or not, my friend’s attitude is something that I have seen and heard many times. Many thin women do not want to be seen in a plus size store. They feel embarrassment and shame. Which leads me to my next point...

If the retailer or boutique offers size 4 – 24, would they still bill themselves as being a plus size retailer?

Retailers like Old Navy and Forever 21 offer plus sizes but they don’t promote themselves as plus size retailers. If a plus size retailer starts to offer sizes 4 – 24, then they are not solely a plus size retailer anymore. Unless they are going to bill themselves as solely a plus size retailer, now offering regular sizes, which is the reverse of what Old Navy and Forever 21 does. However, knowing how some thin women may negatively perceive a plus size store, I am concerned that these retailers would start to market themselves in a more mainstream fashion and no longer would like to be known as a plus size retailer in an effort to gain customers who wear under a size 14.

What about those of us who are size 24 and above?

Those women who are sizes 14 and under would definitely benefit from this size expansion but those of us who are above a size 24 are the real losers here. We already feel excluded by plus size retailers but for them now to expand their size range in the opposite direction just reinforces those feelings of being forgotten. A plus size retailer or boutique should be embracing us and not excluding us in favor of our thinner counterparts. As I wrote in my previous blog post two weeks ago about us forgotten women at the end of the size range… just because we are above a size 26, does not mean we are any less fashionable or don’t want to look pretty. We want to be able to wear beautiful clothes too.

Thinner women have more shopping options – why add to that when extended sizes are more needed?

This point goes hand in hand with #3. Thinner women have so many places they can shop at. You walk into a mall and there will be maybe 2 plus size stores in there and 20 mainstream stores for my thinner counterpart. Now plus size retailers want to offer regular sizes too? Listen, I’m all for equality and I certainly do not advocate sizism. However, if stores want to open the size range then why not just offer sizes 4 – 32? Let’s not exclude anyone.

But at the same time, I will admit that it does bother me a little because plus size women have limited shopping options to begin with and now we would have to share our stores with thinner women, who already have a magnitude of options available to them.

Listen, I get it. We are still deep in a recession, retail is a business and money is not being spent as it used to be. So retailers are looking for ways to increase revenue, which unfortunately means some sizes will be dropped and some added. A few months ago, I read a lengthy discussion on a blog regarding J. Crew dropping size 14 from their stores, which had many women in an uproar. However, J. Crew’s reasoning was that size 14s don’t sell in their stores. Their size 14s are now just available online.

I just think that while retail is a business and revenue-driven, the customer is important too. Especially within the plus size community, where we appreciate having our own stores and places to go to buy beautiful clothing, hard to find shoe widths, bras in larger sizes and accessories… we want to feel like the retailer cares because that in turn makes us want to shop. We shop because we have faith in the clothing and the retailer that backs it. But if retailers exclude us in the name of money, they risk their business and their reputation.

What are your thoughts on retailers and boutiques offering sizes 4 – 24?

The Scene: Set Sail with the Voluptuous Voyage 2012

2011-10-19T11:32:00.000-04:00

BBW Empowerment, Inc. has released their seminar speaker lineup today for the Voluptuous Voyage 2012! Founded by Sameisha Adolph-Frazier of BBW Empowerment, Inc., the Voluptuous Voyage, formerly known as the BBW Empowerment Cruise, is in its third year of sailing to the many beautiful islands in the Caribbean Sea. This year the cruise plans to set sail from Galveston, TX to Cozumel and Progresso, MX, April 28, 2011 – May 3, 2011.

With plus-size entrepreneur seminars that aim to promote self-acceptance from some of the most prominent names in the plus-size community amongst a backdrop of beautiful blue waters and the contemporary design of Carnival Cruise Line’s newer ship, Carnival Triumph, the Voluptuous Voyage is set to be the ideal cruise to relax and rejuvenate.
Adding to the roster of great seminar speakers of the past, the Voluptuous Voyage 2012 welcomes

Linda Scott, CEO of LS 1426 Inc., a plus-size consulting and special events company, Jeannie Ferguson, Professional Petite Plus-Size Model as seen on BET's Rip the Runway and Full Figured Fashion Week, runway coach and co-designer of the plus size clothing brand, BGU (Big Girls United), and Stephanie Penn, Editor-in-Chief of Daily Venus Diva, as seminar leaders who will be sharing their experiences in business, the plus-size industry and personal growth. Guests will also have the opportunity to view a mini runway show from BGU (Big Girls United) lead by Jeannie Ferguson.

Corporate sponsors for the BBW Empowerment Cruise include: Jill Alexander Designs, LAMIK Beauty, Queen Grace Collection, and Divas Premier Hair Company.

Online booking and convenient monthly installments are available with a deposit as low as $150 from now until October 31, 2011 and increasing to $300 thereafter. BBW Empowerment, Inc. can also match potential attendees with a cabinmate and add roundtrip airfare to cruise packages for an additional $75 based on the room tier selected.

For additional details on each seminar speaker and booking information, please visit: http://www.voluptuousvoyage.com/.

About BBW Empowerment, Inc.

BBW Empowerment, Inc. was founded by Sameisha Adolph-Frazier in 2008 in Houston, TX. Sameisha has embarked on a journey to create an organization that caters to curvier women and teens. Her passion for self-acceptance and fashion convinced her to start her own organization. The purpose of BBW Empowerment, Inc. is to serve and create strong and positive images of plus size women around the nation. BBW Empowerment, Inc. believes this process begins with supporting each other and encouraging self-acceptance. BBW Empowerment, Inc. believes that though everyone should not be a certain shape or size, everyone should be healthy, physically, mentally and emotionally.

The Frugal Files: Fiscally Focused on Family

2011-10-18T06:00:00.003-04:00

Hey there!!

Frugalicious Diva here!! I can only imagine how the last challenge went for you. Talking about money can be awkward, so investigating our feelings about money and spending; it’s downright intrusive!! I hope the emotions came up and out so you can be more economically aware and stable.

So for the last two weeks, we’ve talked about you: your lifestyle and healthy changes for yourself, as well as your internal thoughts about money challenges. This week the focus is not on you, but on those you care about. This week’s LIFE challenges will concentrate on “F”. I bet you think it stands for frugal, but not so. It’s Family.

For family, it is not just about frugal living, but also financial planning. Both are important when looking to live within our means, meet our financial goals and build wealth for many generations to come. First thing, let’s chat about frugal finances. Over these last few weeks, we’ve discussed cooking, using what’s on hand and staying within our budgets.

What else can our family use to save money? COUPONS!! I am the first to say, coupons are not my expertise, but I typically use them and always feel good when I save money with them. I try to NEVER pay full price for anything and I dare you to do the same. After all, they call it the “suggested” retail price. I choose to bypass that option and suggest something lower.

We’ve all seen, or at least heard of, those extreme couponing shows. I’m not necessarily advocating adding a stockpile room onto your house, but we can learn a lesson from those who do. In these extreme temperatures we’ve had the last couple of years, keeping a small stockpile of necessities might make sense…and save you some cents too.

Challenge #1: Only purchase items this week on sale or items for which you have a coupon. Obviously, you can get coupons from the weekend newspaper mailers. If you don’t, grab one or ask a neighbor. Also, go to http://www.meetup.com/ and check for a coupon group in your area.

With so many online options, find an online group. They usually have great deals. Coupon Katarina and Sister Save-A-Lot are just two of several coupon experts online; they post daily! My absolute favorite online coupon code website is http://www.retailmenot.com/. Sometimes they feature secret coupon codes that retailers aren’t even aware are available or still working. So before leaving the house to shop or filling up your online cart, log on to this site and copy and paste a code that will save your cash.

Frugally, you’re set this week. Now, let’s talk long term. What are you doing to prepare and sustain your family in your golden years? Do you have a 401k? Are you maximizing it? What about Stocks? Bonds? IRAs? Mutual Funds? I was fortunate to be introduced to my current financial advisor while looking to purchase a home. He demonstrated how easy it is to invest my money. Do your homework and when you invest you’ll see how much you’ve gained by sacrificing a small portion of your budget now.

Challenge #2: Ask your employer if they offer a 401k/403b. If they do, sign up at the maximum. If your employer offers to match your investment, then take it. It’s FREE money!!

Challenge #3: Search for a Financial Advisor. It’s recommended that, like an insurance agent, you find someone in your age range that you can trust and of course is certified and training in investments. Look for someone that takes the time to explain each topic thoroughly. When interviewing, ask multiple questions and study their character. If you think they are only out for your money, keep looking. You want an advisor who’s willing to go the distance with you and cheer you on.

Just as the Autumn leaves fall and change color, realize you can change too. By changing your mindset, you can change your financial situation both now and later. It’s time for the old way of thinking to go away and for you to welcome the new season of wealth and healthy finances. Go and grow!! Have a great week!!

Frugalicious Diva

Do You Know Your Self-Worth?

2011-10-13T08:00:00.002-04:00

"It is not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are." ~Unknown

Saw this quote the other day online and it resonated so deeply with me. Recently, I broke up with someone who I thought was someone I could possibly build a future with. We were together for about a year. However, things started to unravel slowly for some time, to the point where a month ago, I started to question the relationship – where do we go from here? And I had to really be honest with myself – did I want to stay in a relationship where I was not 100% happy? The decision was an easy one and I think that was because I knew of my worth and knew that I deserved better. When a friend asked me what made me decide to walk away, my answer was: “I love him but I love myself more.”

I have learned that having any kind of relationship is truly what makes you realize how much self-worth you have. You can scream to the world that you love yourself and know you’re worthy of someone great but the proof is in the pudding. The person you choose to be with is a direct reflection of how you feel about yourself. Who we date shows how much self-esteem we have within ourselves. This rings true in friendships as well. The people you choose to be in your life and the boundaries you set within those relationships… those choices hinge upon how you really feel about yourself and what you think you are worthy of.

I haven’t always known my self-worth. I fully admit that. I have been a big girl all my life and besides other obstacles we face, dating is something that is not easy for us big girls. We worry about things that our thinner counterparts do not. Their imperfections are more hidden whereas we wear ours for the world to see. The world is a superficial place so people judge on what they see first and then all else comes second. Not every man prefers to date a big girl so rejection is something we are all too familiar with. Sometimes we get those funny looks or are a butt of a joke within a group of men as we pass by. Instead of whistles and catcalls, we may get laughs and sometimes even insults yelled out.

Then you have the flip side – the men who love us physically to the point of a fat fetish. They only want to date a big girl because of her size. I’m sorry but I am not interested in some man coveting my belly roll and wanting to keep me fat. I’m more than a big body. I have a beautiful heart, I’m smart, I’m caring and a million other positive things that I don’t have room on this blog to list. My weight does not define me as a person.

Sadly, some men prey on big girls because they feel we don’t have self-esteem and will sleep with any man that gives us attention because we’re “lucky” that he’s paying attention to us. And don’t let him be cute or successful! Some of us big girls think we have hit the jackpot because we don’t have handsome, successful men knocking on our doors on the regular.

However, handsome and successful do not equal a good man. Do you just buy the first pretty thing you see on a rack when shopping? No. So why would you choose your man in the same manner? With that piece of clothing, you check the price, you try it on and decide if it is something you want to wear and feel good wearing. Same should be done with that man. You have to look past his looks and wallet… see who he really is and if he is worthy of you.

Between society and even within our own circles, our self-esteem sometimes takes a hit and we are made to feel like we are not worthy of a good man, that we have to settle for scraps. Especially if we’re the lone big girl in our circle. What some of us fail to see is that all of that mess is total crap. We don’t have to settle. Because in the end, beauty knows no size and ultimately your guiding factor in all of this is your self-worth.

Case in point: Some of us big girls feel like we have to be overly sexual and give up the cookies to get a man. At the end of the day, if you love yourself and know your worth, then you will respect yourself and love yourself enough to know that you’re worthy of someone great. You certainly don’t have to sleep with a man to get him or put your body on display to get attention. Sexiness is something that comes from within – it’s an attitude and you don’t have to be promiscuous or scantily clad to be sexy.

Now if that’s you and you’re down with that type of lifestyle, okay, own it. I’m not mad at you. Do you. But I want to make this clear to all the men reading this:

NOT ALL BIG GIRLS ARE EASY. NOT ALL BIG GIRLS LACK SELF-ESTEEM.

So ladies, take a long look in the mirror and recognize your self-worth. Make the decision today to love yourself as you are today. Then make the commitment to not spend your waking moments solely seeking a man. Live your life to the fullest, put yourself out there and enjoy life. He will find you when the time is right. I know it sucks to be alone but believe me, when you’re out there looking high and low for a man, most of the time you will find garbage. The reason that happens is because even though you don’t realize it, when your desire for a mate is so strong and your self-worth is lacking, it comes off as desperation. Unfortunately, some men prey on that. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder and confidence has a way of making someone stand out from the rest. It’s as simple as this: When you’re confident and comfortable in your skin, you don’t even have to try hard to get someone’s attention because you will already have it.

For me, on this journey I am on, I have learned along the way that dating in itself is a constant test of self-worth. A person will do to you what you ALLOW them to do to you. You have to love yourself first… honor yourself first… before you can love someone else and let someone love you back fully. If you don’t know your self-worth, you will settle and never be fully fulfilled.

So I ask you, do you know your self-worth?

The Frugal Files: There's no "I" in Spend

2011-10-11T06:00:00.003-04:00

Hello folks!!

Frugalicious Diva here to check on your progress!! How did Project LIFE, Part Lifestyle go for you? Did you cook all your meals and use what you had? That should have saved you a pretty penny in your grocery budget. What about physically? Did you have some low costs associated with your low impact (or high impact) workout? I know you had a great time scraping the hardened Playdoh off the table with the kids!!

Great, so since you took the first set of challenges, I’m sure you’re eager to see what else you can frugally do in October. It is such a great time of year. It’s not too hot, but not too cold either. It’s a nice time to still enjoy outside family activities and the greatest thing about it is it can stay simple. There are really no complications in the fall season. You just grab a jacket and go.

This week we’re going to focus on the “I” in LIFE, which stands for Internal Thoughts. Ask yourself why you might overspend or spend money you don’t have? Or what makes you think carrying debt is okay for you and your family? How do you feel about living a frugal life or even managing your finances?

Challenge #1: Write it down. EVERYTHING. For the full seven days, track your spending. If you purchase a ticket in the office lottery, write it down; if you receive an unexpected influx of money, write that down too. Whatever comes in or out, put it on paper so you can get an accurate account of your spending and saving habits. Even if you’re transferring money to your savings, consider it an expense and calculate it on your budget sheet.

Challenge #2: If you want to take your challenge one step further, try the envelope system. I’m not the biggest fan of this method, but many people have told me it works and I do like the premise of it. For me though, I don’t like carrying cash because it’s hard for me to personally keep track of it, but if it works for you, then this is a great system for you!! Usually, this is done for the month, but because we’re taking baby steps, we will see how this works for you, just this week. If you like it and feel you can add it to your personal frugal files, then you can try it for the remainder of the month.

Here’s how it works. Since you already have a budget and knows what comes in and out of it, then this should be a good challenge for you. Grab an envelope for every spending category you plan to use this week. Some examples would be utilities, food, gas, allowance. Get your total amount for the week in cash and place the designated amount in each one. Then as that expense comes up, pay for it ONLY using that envelope. Once the month is gone, it’s gone. No borrowing from other envelopes allowed!!

If you find there is more money left over, then CONGRATULATIONS!! You are Frugalicious!! The extra money is not a reward or an incentive, but it is a gift. Put it in your savings, so that it can be the gift that will keep on giving…in interest!! Better yet, add the extra to one of your debts!!

Challenge #3: Journal your feelings. This is also writing it down, but this is not just about the money, it’s about your self-talk. For one week, journal or blog about your thoughts, making the focus about money. Track the times you want to spend; jot down what you’re feeling and the reasons you want or actually spend money.

My confession: I have found that when I want to change something in my life, I get the urge to spend. When I don’t properly allocate my money, I subconsciously want to spend it. Also, when it comes to food, even if I have a full refrigerator, I find I want to dine out. It’s when I know I have become overwhelmed and I am looking for a release or a way to distract myself from focusing on the task at hand.

Because I know those are my internal issues, I know how to combat them. I stand back, look at the task at hand and break it up in smaller pieces. Sometimes, I will cut off the rest of the world and force “me time” on myself. It’s how I deal with taking on the world and when I put myself first, I don’t feel the need to spend unnecessarily.

So are you ready for this week’s challenge? Go forth and make those inner thoughts, positive thoughts!!

Frugalicious Diva

Size 26+: The Often Forgotten Woman

2011-10-06T08:00:00.003-04:00

My name is Marcy and I love fashion. I love to shop and express myself through my fashion. I am also a size 26-28.

Growing up in the 80’s as a plus size girl, it was a struggle for me fashion-wise with limited retail options available. Back then, I was between a size 14 – 18. You would think that now in 2011, my choices for fashionable clothing would be endless. However, at my current size, I still feel like I am in the 80’s. I see clothes I want but many of them don’t come in my size. While plus size clothing has come a very long way since that time, I feel like a “forgotten” woman in a community where we should all be celebrated and not divided by size.

My shopping experience now usually goes something like this: Online (or in a store) I see a dress I love and want to buy. When trying to add it to my cart, I click on the “Select Size” dropdown menu and don’t see my size. Huh? I check their size chart and see they only go up to a size 24.

I have grown accustomed to this happening since it has happened so frequently. A few months ago, I was looking for outfits for a plus fashion event. I had two fabulous designers offer me pieces to wear but had to decline both since one went up to a 24 and the other 22.

Not only do I have to contend with some retailers and designers that don’t carry my size but with the ones that do, I am hit with yet another challenge: getting to the store in time (or buying it online quickly) before my size runs out. Size 26-28 always tends to sell out quickly. For a recessionista like myself, I love to take advantage of a great sale – who doesn’t? But most of the time, my size is gone by the time the item is on sale.

One day, while in one of my favorite stores, I was talking to a salesperson and decided to ask her about the lack of 26-28s in the store. According to her, typically sizes 18-20 and 26-28 sell out first. However, as we talked further, I also learned that while these two size brackets sell out first, items in these sizes are not bought equally. Usually when they receive inventory from the warehouse, there are more size 18-20 pieces than size 26-28 pieces. For example, a new top coming in would have 8 pieces in size 18-20 and 2 pieces in size 26-28. Does this mean that retailers/designers feel that 26-28 is not a popular size or as in much demand as that 18-20? Obviously, the 18-20 is popular but at the same time, I would think that by size 26-28 selling out quickly, it makes it quite obvious that not only is size 26-28 popular as well but in need.

Then there is the argument that larger sizes require more fabric, which means more money spent on creating the item. I personally feel that the issue here is not fabric, it’s about the pattern made to create that item. It is not easy to create plus size clothing since there is no one standard body type for a plus size woman. While it would cost more money to create those patterns, it would save the retailer on fabric in the end and help to gain more customers, which means more money.

As a customer, I just don’t want to be made to feel like I have to lose weight so I can be able to shop at a store. As plus size women, we are already dealing with the stereotypes inflicted on us by society and mainstream media but now we have to experience exclusion within our own community? It feels like the stores that offer 24 and under are VIP clubs with a velvet rope out front that are keeping out those of us who are a 26 and above. I believe that the retailer has to care about the plus size customer and believe in us, that we will buy their clothing if they offer our size. It would be a win-win for both sides.

I have hope that one day, I will no longer be that forgotten woman at the end of the size range...that I will be recognized as a woman who is just as fashionable and deserving of that fashion as my thinner counterparts sizes 24 and under. I want to one day have the freedom to shop at any plus size retailer or designer and find my size. Forgotten woman no more! I WILL NOT BE FORGOTTEN.

While I get frustrated at my size not being available everywhere, I also don’t want to disregard those retailers who do carry my size and above. I’m a “glass half full” kind of girl. Here’s a few noteworthy ones to check out – there is no velvet rope at these places:

Avenue: Affordable clothing and shoes, always offers coupons/deals and they go up to a size 32. A size 26-28 recessionista’s dream.

Sonsi.com: A great online plus size shopping experience from the company that owns Lane Bryant, Catherines and Fashion Bug. They offer clothing from a variety of retailers in one place (one cart, one checkout) at great prices. They just launched an awesome feature called Fashion Genius, where you can create outfits and save them in your style file. They go up to a size 36, 5X.

Just As You Are: A new online retailer on the scene that offers custom made coats and jackets. Just enter in your measurements and they suggest a coat or jacket that would fit you best. Then they create that coat for you in your specifications. I am in Heaven!

Igigi: Beautiful dresses, moderate pricing, great customer service and they go up to a 32.

Evans UK: Based in the UK but delivers to the US via their website. They also plan to launch in the US soon. They go up to a size 32, offer great collections such as their fabulous Beth Ditto line last year, carry shoes up to EEEE width and beautiful handbags with longer straps for us girls with big arms.

Penningtons/Addition Elle: Based in Canada but ships to the US. Casual basics, career separates, bras/sleepwear as well as their MXM collection, which are trendy, edgier type of pieces. They go up to a size 32, 5X.

Just My Size: Basics and career separates up to a 40W and at awesome prices. Their clothing is also available at Walmart.

Sealed with a Kiss: This online retailer goes up to size 36, 6X. Great prices, wonderful dresses and tops, plus great customer service.

Lucie Lu: Beautiful dresses and tops – there is a dress on their site that I dream about and am waiting to go on sale. Moderately priced and goes up to size 30, 5X.

Simply Be: UK based and just launched in the US with a website and catalog. Trendy clothing that goes up to a size 28.

Kiyonna: This retailer is known for their elegant dresses, moderately priced. But they sell other types of clothing as well. Their swimwear is fabulous. They go up to a size 32.

B&Lu – Love, love, love the clothing at B&Lu. It’s trendy with a vintage flair. They go up to a size 32, 6X.

Eliza Parker: Beautiful dresses and tops in fabulous fabrics. I own one of their dresses and felt like a queen when wearing it to an event. They go up to size 28.

Curvaceous Boutique: Trendy, fabulous clothing up to a size 28. Their clothing is gorgeous and really makes you feel confident, adventurous and beautiful at the same time.

We’d love to hear from you. What are your favorite retailers that offer extended sizes? What do you think about extended sizes not being offered at all plus size retailers/designers?

Marcy is new to the Belle Noir Magazine team. Besides fashion and writing, she loves to travel at a whim, is a self-proclaimed book nerd, loves to crochet while watching Project Runway and Audrey Hepburn is her hero. She can be reached via email at marcyc19@gmail.com.

A Note From Ms. Aja B.: Why We Support The Full Body Project

2011-10-05T08:00:00.000-04:00

Hi Ladies,

Belle-Noir Magazine is proud to announce our support as a media sponsor of The Full Body Project. Created by Jessica Kane (one of the dynamic duo behind the Plus Fashion & Style magazine Skorch Magazine), this project aims to show plus size women that they are "more than a head shot".

Here is more from the initiative's founder:
"What is the Full Body Photo Project? A virtual community of women who upload their full body photos to show they love themselves!

I am me, and I am awesome. I'm going to surround myself with positivity and eventually I will succeed in my goals, whether business, life, or health. Stop being so hard on yourself and stop judging. Love YOU be the best person you can be.

I started this project as a grass roots empowerment campaign in 2010 to empower women to love their bodies. As a plus size woman and blogger, I realized the power of a full body photo and how we could use them to help us accept and love our bodies! The 2011 Campaign push is coming Oct. 3rd to Oct. 14, and sponsored by the biggest names in the plus size industry!" - Jessica Kane

How do I join?
Upload your full body photo to the wall of this facebook page! That's it! And, as a member, you have the chance to have your photo appear in SKORCH Magazine!!
Join the following companies:
Avenue - Fashion's Night Out VIP Gift Bag $200
Ulla Popken - One $50 Gift Card

IGIGI - One $50 Gift Card
Shop Translated
Lane Bryant - Two $100 Gift Cards
Alight.com - New Style Top $50
SVOBODA - One Pair of Denim & S/H $180
Torrid
Fashion to Figure Hips and Curves - One $50 Gift Card
Curvysta
Sealed with a KISS Designs - One $75 Gift Card
Isha Couture - Plus Size Halloween Costume $50
Kurvacious
Bellisima - One $75 Gift Card
Bennett's Boots - Four $100 Gift Cards
Cassaundra's Clothing Boutique - One $150 Gift Card
Dianne Brill Cosmetics - Two $120 Lip & Eye Goody Bags
Queen Grace - One $100 Gift Card

When Jessica approached me and several of the other plus size publications about this initiative, and asked us for our support, I felt obligated to have Belle-Noir Magazine support it. From a business standpoint, I am sure that a lot of people would not have done it. I hear a lot of talk about "competitors" and how because since we are all working to attract the same audience, promoting each others publications just can't happen. I've even been told "Well, you don't see Vogue running advertisements for InStyle or Cosmo, so why would you promote another plus size publication." I've also been told, "[Insert name of several publications here] wouldn't do the same for you & Belle-Noir."

I personally feel that when we get into that matter of thinking, that is when it creates division within the plus size community. I respect the plus industry. I respect it as a lucrative business. But I also recognize the importance of community. Call me crazy, but if we don't stick together, who else is going to support us? The mainstream media? *insert side eye here*

Ladies, I encourage you to head over to www.fullbodyphotoproject.org, and join the contest. You not only stand to win some great prizes over the next few days, but you also will be taking a stand and showing the world that plus size women are, indeed, beautiful, in all shapes and sizes. And if you do head over there, be sure to tell them that Belle-Noir Magazine sent ya!

Good luck to all who post their photos! Hope you win something fab! <3

Peace & Love,
Ms. Aja B.

The Frugal Files: With Autumn Comes Change

2011-10-04T06:00:00.001-04:00

Hello there!! Frugalicious Diva here and it’s officially Fall!! Now that the kids are settled into school, what’s next for you? You’ve gotten through the summer and had some great frugal fun. You also found some great school supplies at home or good deals at the store. Now, it’s October. What does that mean for you?

When I think of October, I think about the cooler weather, which I love because I can pull out the cute jeans and even cuter sweaters and tunics. I also think of the leaves changing colors and falling, as well as the harvest season. This reminds me of warm apple crisps, cider and pumpkins decorating the yard.

My favorite season is Autumn mostly because it’s time to transition, make some changes. In the Frugal Files we’re going to get ready to make some changes to our thoughts about LIFE. This month we’re going to dedicate each week to LIFE, challenging ourselves to do something different than last year and something we can implement into our daily frugal lives.

This week we’re going to focus on the “L”, which stands for Lifestyle. Ask yourself what do you want to change about your life? You know you don’t have to wait until January to make those same old resolutions. You can make a change right now. My challenge for this month is to cook daily and I challenge you to do the same.

Challenge #1: Cook all your meals. You know I’ve chatted with you before about creative cooking, so why not put it too good use? Look in those deep freezers and pull out everything and create meal menus. You can even cook in bulk and freeze all the meals, then set assigned leftover days to unthaw your pre-cooked meals. Need a few ideas, use Leslie Chisolm’s menu as a guide: Dinner Calendar This woman created a monthly meal plan for the entire year. She’s my She-ro!!

The beauty of planning your meals is you choose your own healthy dishes and prepare them. You save money because you’re not dining out, but also you are not indulging in potentially unhealthy food that can cause health issues in the future. Health issues cost you your body and in your wallet.

Challenge #2: Focus on frugal fitness this month. Do you have a gym membership for which you are paying, but not using? Well, start today!! You don’t need a personal trainer. Simply look at their class schedule and commit to 1-2 classes per week. At least then you can justify paying the fee.

If you don’t have a membership, but want one, then do your homework. Ask around for the best rates and find a facility that has the most options for the money you plan to pay. Lastly, look for a place that has a month-to-month membership, so you don’t have to commit to 1-3 years at a time. That will save you in the long run.

Don’t want to purchase a membership? There are other ways to get and stay fit. It’s still nice outside, so grab a partner and walk the trails at the park or pull on a co-worker and do that same at work. Walk around the building. If available, use your job’s fitness center. Come in early or stay late. Raking and bagging leaves are the perfect autumn exercise; as is planting your garden for next year’s harvest. There are typically fests and bonfires this time of year, so take advantage of the run and play time there.

Challenge #3: Entertain yourselves using what you have. It's easy to go out and buy something to help occupy your time, so challenge yourself to do something different. Consider these ideas:

- Decorate your home. Use old material to make a door cover or table runner. Gather leaves, an old hanger and a glue gun and make a decorative wreath for the door. Have fall themed cookie cutters? Make your own playdoh and make door or porch ornaments.

- After rotating your fall and winter clothes back into your closet, go through them and see what can be recycled into something different. Can you embellish your pants or plain shirt? Why not make new jewelry from your old jewelry?

- Learn a new hobby: take up knitting or needlepoint; learn to play a new board game or sport; try scrapbooking or practice feng shui.

- Do something old fashioned: write a letter to someone or volunteer your time

Whatever you decide to change about your lifestyle this week and during the month of October, make sure it is a frugal one. The ultimate challenge is to change your life without losing your change. Good luck and enjoy this week!!

Frugalicious Diva

Weekly Motivation 10.02.11

2011-10-02T10:00:00.000-04:00

We couldn't have said it better ourselves! <3

The Frugal Files: Free Avenues for Sales Part II

2011-09-27T06:00:00.002-04:00

Hey people!!

I hope you're ready for more selling advice because The Frugalicious Diva is back to give it to you!! Did you use any of last week’s suggestions and make some extra bucks? We ran out to time last week, but I'm happy to be back to share my best selling secret with you!!

Similar to the Yahoo Groups avenue I told you about last week, I use one last way of selling online. This is my sales tool of choice: Craig’s List. It is just like YG, but has worldwide exposure without subscribing. You can even post to multiple cities and ship your items. It’s fast, easy to use and I’ve made the most money using this method.

First, read the CL rules. Then start posting your legal items for sale. Take pictures, as you can post up to four per advertisement. When you sign up for a FREE seller’s account, CL will keep track of all your posts and you can edit or delete them any time. Describe your item accurately and concisely. People want details but do not want to read a book about your item. List the name, sizes, colors and price. Once you post, sit back and wait for emails.

Same rules apply; be prompt and courteous. You might find potential buyers are not as polite, but be professional anyway. You will get spam, “interested” people who don’t follow up and others who will begin bargaining, asking for prices way less than you posted. It’s up to you how you deal with them, but make sure you are get what you want.

Next, be safe. If you call to make arrangements, block your number, by using *67 before dialing. If they don’t answer, leave a message and tell them you will try them again at a specified time. You can also opt to use a public phone. Also, when you meet up with the buyer, do so during the day at a public place and take someone with you. Use the same advice if you decide to buy from a Craigslister too. I have been to many parking lots for a successful and discrete exchange. I let them examine the object I’m selling then payment is made. You are done and everyone is satisfied. They have their item and you have your cash!!

My last courtesy is thanking them for the sale once I’m back to my computer. This act of gratitude goes a long way. It makes people smile and it opens the door for them to be a repeat buyer. I have had a few people purchase the same type of items from me repeatedly. It’s all about customer service; it still matters and it counts.

One more thing. I thought I might give some honorable mentions. They are not all free ways of selling, but have very nominal fees. So here's the list, thanks to both my experience and some friends of mine who shared their experiences.

If you have clothes or accessories, then go consignment. Beware though, no matter what the commercials say, don't be fooled into thinking they pay top dollar; but it’s something. They usually take a percentage, and usually in their favor. But for those that don't watch them count out money to you. Check out Plato's Closet for all things Teen, Once Upon A Child for kids’ items and for those with high end women's fashions, sell at Clothes Mentor. If you have sellable things, they will pay you.

Have CD or DVDs you no longer love, check out Second Spin or http://www.half.com. The latter allows for you to sell all media including movies and books.

Lastly, one of my very FRUGALICIOUS friends mentioned she loves to sell her unused stuff on Amazon. She researches the values and posts. She told me she easily receives payment with the click of a button and has never experienced any issues. The best part is that they only take a small fee ONLY if the item sells, so you can adjust your asking price accordingly.

Now, you should be convinced, that even in this economy, there is money to be made!! You can do it easily from the comfort of your own home and computer. You pick, you click, you post, they buy!! All the best to you and Happy Selling!!

Frugalicious Diva

The Frugal Files: Free Avenues for Sales

2011-09-20T06:00:00.001-04:00

Hey folks!!

Frugalicious Diva here!! So, I just wanted to tell you my adventures with selling items online. It is a great way to make some extra cash while decluttering your life. It’s nice to donate items, especially when you know someone who can use them. However, I also understand wanting some return on the many trinkets you’ve purchased over the year. I hate that I've bought something and never used it, even though I had the best intentions at the time. It’s now too late to return it and it’s just sitting there, wherever “there” is, collecting dust.

What can you no longer use? Or no longer want? Or no longer love? Sell it. You can use ebay if you are seasoned and don’t mind the fees. I’ve never been able to master ebay and it upset me to not sell my item and I was still responsible for the fee. Now, I only utilize the free avenues and stay away from fee-based selling as much as possible. Here’s what I’ve found worked for me:

Facebook is not just for socializing, it can bring in some spare cash!! If you have enough items, I suppose you can set up a like page and sell to the people you invited to “like” your page. Otherwise, just simply post your sellable items on your personal page. When I was selling bulk items, I set up a photo album, posted pictures of what was for sale and the prices. Then I would announce on my wall I was selling it and people would inbox me to make a purchase. It worked out great and it’s easy for people to spread the word.

Now, I have posted some sales items on Twitter too, but it really didn’t yield many results. Twitter moves so quickly, your post can get lost in the endless tweets of a minute. It’s not my avenue of choice, but if you are selling the right products, this can give you favorable results. It’s definitely good promotion and that can leads to future sales of both products and services.

These last two free ways of selling have given me the greatest results and I continue to use them today. They are easy and because I use the same advertisement format, much of the work is just copying and pasting.

Yahoo Groups – Yes they still exist and are going strong. I belong to several buy/sell/trade Yahoo Groups. I decided to streamline mine to my own geographical area, but you can choose whatever groups work best for you. Go to the home page and search for garage sale and buyer/seller groups. You’ll want to join the buy AND sell groups, so you’ll have people there willing to purchase what you’re offering. Learn the following abbreviations:

FS: For Sale

WTB: Want to Buy

ISO: In Search Of (Please specify if you want to buy it or get it for free)

SOLD: This is a courtesy, letting everyone know the item you posted has been sold.

OFFER: This means the item you are offering is FREE

INFO: This means you are just sharing info, perhaps about a sale, etc.

These are helpful, courteous tips that keep the environment nice and simple. Most people will abide by the rules and will keep in touch with you. Also, these groups tend to have high traffic email, so one tip is set your mail preference to Digest. This means you get one email per day with the listing of all the mail that was sent to the group that day. If you are interested in something, you simply email the person requesting the item you wish to purchase. People will do the same for you. If they want your item, you will receive an email from them. Always be professional and prompt with your replies, so they don’t lose interest.

Similarly, I use one last way of selling online. This is my favorite sales tool and it has helped me make the most money online. It’s none other than…Oh, sorry, we’re out of time for today!!

Please tune into The Frugal Files next week, where we will explore the last Sales Tactic to Sell More. Until then…stay frugalicous!!

Frugalicious Diva

Beautiful You Monday: Style File: Just As You Are

2011-09-19T10:13:00.000-04:00

Greetings folks! Welcome to another edition of Beautiful You Monday here on Belle-Noir.com. For those of you who are new, Beautiful You Monday is where we discuss everything fashion, beauty & style!

Our Facebook fans & Twitter Followers might recall my speaking about being invited to the Plus Model Magazine Blogger Conference a few weeks ago. Held at the absolutely GORGEOUS Hudson Terrace, the event was to announce the launch of a new line of plus size outerwear, Just As You Are. This post is all about the fabulousness that is the Just As You Are Fall/Winter 2011 line.

Plus size ladies--particularly my ladies who are like me, sizes 24+, and live in cold weather states--can relate to this experience: you know the winter is coming and you begin the search for a winter coat that will survive the wind, rain, snow, and everything else winter can throw your way. Some might just be looking for something sleek and stylish they can wear with office wear. Others might be looking for something that will stand up to busy fall & winter weekends. What usually happens (at least in my past experience) is one of the following:

I will find a coat that I absolutely adore, but it stops at a size 24 (often times, much smaller).
I will find a coat that I absolutely adore, but while it comes in my size, the only color options are black, black, and did I mention black?
I will find a coat that I absolutely adore, but it is so expensive that I find it hard to justify the purchase. Not to mention that the fit is just not quite right.

Ladies, Just As You Are has heard these, plus many more of the common complaints that we have as plus size women looking for stylish outerwear. What they have created is a line of outerwear that is completely about fitting your shape and helping you walk away with a coat that will "embrace your shape" make you look fabulous "just as you are".

First, there are no sizes when you shop with Just As You Are. Your perfect coat shopping experience starts with your measurements. By entering your chest, waist, hips and height into the measurements form, you will then be given the coats that are recommend as best for your shape! Browse the selections, fall in love with your new favorite coat, add it to your online shopping cart and viola! So simple, yet genius!

As I always say, we must support the designers who are designing clothing that is especially for us. What I also love about Just As You Are is that there is no mention of a coat's "slimming qualities" or other phrases that assume that I am looking for something that is going to make me look smaller.

Here's a look at some of the coats from the collection that were debuted that night:

Accra wrap $159
Photo credit: LucasPictures.Net

Angola wrap $219
Photo credit: LucasPictures.net

Aurora jacket $249
Photo credit: LucasPicture.net

Aspen jacket $269
Photo credit: LucasPictures.net

Alabama jacket $169
Photo credit: LucasPictures.Net

Arizona jacket $179
Photo credit: LucasPictures.net

What do you think ladies? Will you give Just As You Are a try? Be sure to check out the website and follow them on Facebook.

Special thanks to Madeline Figueroa-Jones, Editor-In-Chief of Plus Model Magazine, the Just As You Are team, and everyone else involved in making the Blogger Conference a great time.

The Frugal Files: Creative Cooking

2011-09-13T06:00:00.001-04:00

Hey everybody!! It's The Frugalicious Diva and today in The Frugal Files, we're going to talk about Creative Cooking!!

When I was younger I despised even the idea of cooking, but my parents LOVE to cook!! In fact, I come from families that take great pride in their culinary skills. I can confidently say my Mom and aunts, maternal and paternal, are cooking and baking Divas!! Let’s not sleep on my Dad and the family men either, because they are the greatest fryers and bar-b-q-ers this side of the Mississippi.

Every family function is filled with delectable treats and concoctions from someone’s kitchen. Every potluck brings on unforgettable aromas that water your taste buds upon entrance. There is always a table covered in Aunt Tina’s famous 7 layer salad, macaroni and cheese and homemade ice cream, Aunt Gloria’s tasty fried chicken or Mom’s delicious dirty rice, 7UP cake or sweet potato pie.

I had to describe some of the vittles in order for you to get the idea, because with all that home cooking training, it is blasphemous for me to not want to follow in this rich tradition. But, it was true. I would have rather cleaned the toilet bowl than do anything with that oven.

Even though I disliked cooking, it didn’t mean I didn’t know how to do it. Since I’ve always been a people watcher, I know now that habit started right at home. For years, I observed my Mom make side dishes, cakes and pies, all from scratch. I marveled at how she was such an expert that she no longer had to measure the ingredients, how she knew the degrees each dish needed and how long it would take to cook. Side note ladies: don’t let men tell you they don’t cook. My parents shared the cooking, but my Dad has always (and still does) cooked breakfast.

So, although I did not enjoy it, cooking was buried in my soul. They were resurrected when I purchased my first home and got a kitchen of my own. I had to cook then, because my daughter and I had to eat. So, I asked for cookbooks for my housewarming and along with ordering Angel Food Ministries monthly, I learned that cooking is actually exciting. It is a joy for me to witness my daughter eat something new that I’ve created. With the variety of food in the AFM Signature Box, it was easy to create new recipes weekly for my family.

Now, my challenge for you other frugalicious divas and dons, is to create meals using what you already have at home. Many times we’ll purchase food from the store when we’ve depleted just a few. If you are not careful, you will find duplicates or items you did not know you had because you just kept buying more food. Take a 30-day grocery free challenge. Look through your cookbooks and online to aid you in finding recipes for what you have in your refrigerators and pantries.

Here are a few suggestions from my own personal challenges:

Use the condiments in your refrigerator

- When I may stir fry or fried rice, I use my soy sauce packets

- In spaghetti or pastas, I add spice with hot sauce packets

- Need ketchup? Use leftover fast food ketchup packets instead

Pull out foods you hardly use and create a new dish

- Instead of the same ol’ pasta, half it and make two dishes: a casserole and pasta salad

- Have browning apples? Cut them up, add cinnamon and nutmeg and fry them in butter. You’ll have a great dessert.

- Tired of cornbread, add bacon bits, jalapenos and cheese to the batter. Spicy bread for chili.

When you don’t have it, improvise

- Don’t have lemon, use another fruit instead. Create a new flavor.

- No onions, use garlic or a crunchy veggies like celery or carrots

- Add as many veggies to any dish you like. I now sprinkle my frozen vegetables in every dish I make. Great way to get in the veggies and use what’s in the house.

The next time you get bored with your kitchen, use a few of these tips and get some creative cooking going on at home!! You will rejuvenate your interest in cooking and your family will rave about your skills. Here’s to happy, creative cooking and finger licking good recipes!!

Frugalicious Diva

The Frugal Files: Abundantly Thinking!!

2011-09-06T06:00:00.000-04:00

Hey there folks!!

It's The Frugalicious Diva again and one of the things I really wanted to share with you today is about changing our mindsets. So the kids are off to school, starting a fresh new year, so the adults in their lives should do the same. Let me share one thing with you: we have all we need to be who we have been created to be and because of this, we can and are in position to receive all that the Universe has for us. However, we have to be willing to release all limiting beliefs about money, prosperity and abundance.

Many times we get caught up in “life”; the struggle and stress of work, home, family, health and of course money. We get so caught up in the hustle and bustle, we do not take the time appreciate or even truly see what we already have. More importantly, we don’t understand that our feelings about being stressed simply cause more stress.

Just like we make a conscious effort do our jobs well, we have to use that same drive to create or enhance our financial lives. This same principle applies to all parts of our lives, but the Frugalicious Diva, is just going to address healthy finances. It begins with your mindset about money.

One of my favorite financial gurus is Suze Orman and I remember watching one of her older videos, where I first heard the idea of having respect for my money. She mentioned if you take care of your money, then your money will take care of you. She even went so far as to mention the way you placed your money in your wallet was significant. If you line the bills up neatly and orderly in your wallet, then you were respecting your money. It's easier to find and use when needed. Likewise, if it is crumpled, tattered and thrown in your wallet, it meant your financial situation was typically not in order. How can you keep track of your money when it is in that state?

Also, how can we expect our money to grow if we do not plant the seed and water it? This means being accountable for all our financial matters. First, we should pay bills joyfully and pay them on time. Have an attitude of gratitude that you have the means to pay what you owe. Try this affirmation: “I pay my bills with love and happiness!”

Next, we should owe less. We can owe less if we spend less. Take control of our desires and recognize what we need vs. what we want. Needs first and if there is a surplus, then get what we want. We often do this backwards and justify it by saying we deserve a treat. Remember back to your childhood. Treats were only once in a while and because we did something to deserve it. If you're having a hard time, then try this affirmation: “I know that all my financial affairs are being blessed and I am prospering beyond my wildest dreams.”

Lastly, we want to see growth in our financial lives. This includes saving for the future and even investing your money so that you are securing yourself and your family in your later years. By sacrificing something we want now, we can save for something we want more later. By learning to discipline ourselves, we can stave off feelings of instant gratification. This will also encourage a change in mindset. Set your goals, get to work and say this aloud: “I give thanks for all my prosperity that is rapidly multiplying.”

Looking to grow your finances and create an abundantly life? Then let go of the poverty mentality and begin to give of yourself. Give your time, talents and yes even money. Whatever you want more of that is what you give. Sow into someone else’s dream as a seed for your own. Say this affirmation with me…”I am sharing my prosperity with others because I know that it is better to give than to receive.”

Trust and believe you are already creating a life for yourself with your thoughts, so shouldn’t they be positive thoughts of abundance instead of lack? Say these affirmations day and night and believe them when you say them. You will see the results and attract more abundance to you. Let me leave you with one more affirmation to use:

”I release any limiting beliefs about what I can have and what I can accomplish financially.”

Last thing, write an Abundance Check. Pay to your name and in the spaces where you would normally write the dollar amount, write “PAID IN FULL”. Sign the check “The Law of Abundance”. Don’t bother dating it because you do not want to limit when and what is in store for you. Place it in a safe place, forget about it and watch abundance come to you!!

Frugalicious Diva