Thursday, March 20, 2008

Wise: Six Traits You Don't Need

Wise: 6 Traits You Don't Need

Do you ever feel like you are burdened with the weight of the world on your shoulders? Often times the weight of the world is really the weight of your inner world. The world that you may neglect at times, unbeknownst to you. Sometimes when we get so busy in our lives, we may inadvertently channel these traits that we can really live without.

1. Anger - Two words; not good. Two more words; anger management. It's no fun being on either end of anger. Though sometimes it is justified, anger can be an emotional tsunami with serious health complications that can shorten life span and interfere with quality of life.

In a major study, researchers at the University of California, Berkeley identified chronic anger and hostility as key triggers of smoking and excessive drinking, and obstacles to healthy immune function. In addition, episodes of anger were found to play a role in the onset of potentially deadly ischemic strokes.

Anger typically occurs in degrees, ranging from mild annoyance to intense rage and not all of it is vocalized. It is best to communicate, if that's not possible, learn to differentiate between the action you WANT to take and the action you MUST take.

2. Aggression - We often hear that aggression is good, but is that really the case? Like a lion ready to pounce, aggressiveness puts us on edge. It may be a jungle out there, but that does not mean that we have to be the lion. It's true that you can get more flies with honey than with vinegar. Do aggressive people really get ahead or do they ruffle as many feathers as possible to rise to the top? What aggressive people may not realize is that what goes around comes around.

3. Fear - We are here to experience life at it's fullest. Living in fear is like living in a lunar eclipse; you can never see the illumination because your joy is being blocked. Take small steps, feel the fear and do it anyway.

4. Lying - There is a difference between harmless white lies and lies that can harm, defame and ruin someone's life. If you have to lie to other people, then you are really lying to yourself. Being honest and having integrity is worth more than lying for any reason. There are exceptions, but use discretion if you have to stretch the truth. Think of the outcome before you say it.

5. Infidelity - There is no excuse for this. The statistics are staggering. Most infidelity goes undetected. Given the secretive nature of infidelity, exact figures about cheating and extramarital affairs are nearly impossible to establish. It is estimated that roughly 30 to 60% of all married individuals (in the United States) will engage in infidelity. These numbers are probably on the conservative side, when you consider that close to half of all marriages end in divorce.

If you feel that you have to cheat, then you should probably get out of the relationship. Why put your partner through the pain of adultery? We all want to be loved, but when we pick the wrong partner, that can lead to a lifetime of pain and baggage that can follow us from relationship to relationship. It's better to pack your bags than to have baggage.

6. Ridicule - Putting other people down to elevate yourself shows a defect in your character. If there is something inside of you that gets a kick out of another's downfall, then something inside of you is off kilter. It behooves us to treat others as we want to be treated. People don't want to be mistreated. When an elephant falls, even the frogs don't kick him.

Alexys Fairfield is a writer and rhapsodist in Los Angeles who specializes in ways to enlighten the human experience while helping individuals find happiness and fulfillment in this moment. Embrace this journey of a lifetime. Life gives you wings, all you have to do is fly.

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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You forgot Jealousy. Eliminating that will get rid of some of the others like anger, aggression and fear.