This week's blog column is dedicated to two great people in my life: (1) A dear friend, who overheard a mean comment from someone criticizing her outfit while we were at an event (so uncalled for). And (2) My dad for preparing me for life and the foolery that occurs within it.
This week, I received an email I was not supposed to see. The words that were written about me were hurtful and very mean-spirited. Now I am a realist and know that somewhere, someone is talking about me. That is life. There will always be someone who has something to say about someone else. This I get. However, at this particular moment, I recalled something my dad told me when I was a kid:
“It’s better not to know every single thing that is being said about you or in general. Sometimes it’s better to just be oblivious to some things and live life as best as you can.”
I didn’t understand that back then when I was a kid but I do now. A part of me wishes I did not see that email. That I did not know how this person felt about me.
I don’t think people realize the severity of words and the effect that a person can have on another with those words. We are all guilty of saying something in haste, in the heat of the moment or without thought. Once that word leaves your mouth, there’s no taking it back. You have to deal with the consequences of the words you have said.
Words can feel like a sword being wielded around, inflicting the victim with deep wounds. Words can incite and divide as we have seen in this world where judgments are handed out on a daily basis. Words can also calm and inspire. Words can create change, good and bad. I cannot tell you how many times I have been in a group setting and someone will say the word FAT in a derogatory manner. I’m right THERE and it’s as if they have no regard for me.
Yeah, I know what some will say. “Well, it’s my life and I can say anything I want to say.” While that is true, I would like to counter that and ask, what happened to being considerate of others? What happened to having tact and respect for not only others but yourself? The words that come out of your mouth show your character. If you continue to use words in a negative fashion, it really is showing who you are as a person. The words you express are your messages to the world. And if you want the world to see you as someone who is critical, belittles and insults others, then that is your choice. But honestly, that doesn’t sound like too much fun to me. But to each his/her own…
As a plus size woman, I live in a world where I am judged on a daily basis so I am not trying to add to that mix. I just want to be the best person I can be and live out my days in the most fabulous way possible. You only get one life! As a friend said to me today, this ain’t no dress rehearsal; you only get one shot at this life.
As Robert Frost once said, “
Instead, I'm going to keep it moving and live my life by something else my dad always told me:
"A kind word can go a long way."