I have always been someone who dances to the beats of her own music. I know I am unlike no one else and I love that! Thing is, we are all unique in our own birthright. As I always say, there is only one you in this world and that’s pretty freaking amazing and powerful.
It can be intimidating to try to be you in a world where you are not accepted or made to feel inadequate. I get that because it even happens in the plus size community. You would think that I would be accepted and not judged within my own community but I am because I am not what plus size is often shown to be in the media. I am a size 26/28. According to the industry, I am too large to be a plus size model, too large to wear the clothing of many designers and too large to be someone prominent in the industry.
Now if you have been reading my column for a while or know me outside of this, do you think I will let those opinions and assumptions stop me from still being me and putting myself out there? Oh, heck no! I refuse to hide because of that. This is me. I may not fit the plus size model that is shown in the public eye but I am beautiful in my own right. I thrive on being different. Why would I want to be a carbon copy of someone else just to fit in?
I have no desire to be a plus size model. I’m clumsy and can’t really walk well in heels. But I still believe I can own a runway because despite whatever size I am, I work with what I have. As for those designers who don’t create clothing in my size, well, there are plenty of designers out there who do. For every negative, there’s a positive. It’s all about your way of thinking and how you handle the negatives that come along in life. You can either, break down doors and emerge, saying “I’m here!” Or you can watch life from the sidelines and never fully reach your own potential.
I feel like this, if you can’t accept me for me, then you don’t have to accept me at all. See how I flipped it? It’s all about how you look at things. If you’re looking at the situation as one you have to conform to, then you are giving that other person or group power over you and who you should be. In all actuality, you really should be thinking, if they can’t accept me for who I am, it’s their loss. I think that when someone dares to be different, it scares the crap out of cliques where the people within them are carbon copies of each other.
Daring to be different means standing out of the crowd. It means not being afraid of being seen and not caring what others will say after they have seen you. So you can either hide and let those other people control your life and how you live it. Or you can be seen and dare to be YOU, in all your unique and fabulous glory. Trust, when you do that, your shine is blinding and it will inspire others to want to do the same.
Embrace who you are and not what society wants you to be. Stop trying to be that person that you think you’re supposed to be and just be yourself. You are enough. Imperfections and all. No one is perfect. When you are suppressing who you really are, you are playing it safe. And life is too short to just get by. Life is meant to be lived to the fullest. It is meant to be full of adventures, lessons and great moments.
First of all, please stop comparing yourself to others. It’s so easy to compare ourselves to others when we don’t see our own greatness and envy someone else’s. We always think the grass is greener is on the other side. But when you compare yourself to someone else, you are setting yourself up for even more disappointment. No matter how hard you try, you can never be that person. You were created as you for a reason.
Please stop being so hard on yourself. We can be our own worst enemy. We constantly look at our flaws and berate ourselves for them. We get on these non-realistic journeys to change ourselves to fit a mold that we are told we should emulate. When we do this, we are saying to ourselves that we are not enough. Thing is, when you have this attitude, you will always feel you are not enough. You will never be happy until you give yourself a break, look in the mirror and say “I’m beautiful and I’m pretty amazing right now as who I am.” Instead of being hard on yourself, start admiring the things about you that you love. All of our quirks are things that are unique to us. And anything unique is awesome in my book. Because no one can take that away from you.
Just let go. We can’t control what others say and do. But we can control how we feel about ourselves and how we react to the criticism of others. It’s all about how you think and look at things. Once we accept and let go of the fact that we cannot control the situation, things become so much easier. You become more carefree and less fearful of being who you are.
The most important ways you can show your love for yourself is to be true to who you are, never compromise yourself for anyone, believe in yourself and love yourself unconditionally. Part of being fearless in life is daring to be different. Why would you want to be like everyone else? How boring is that? You’re here for a reason…your presence is not a mistake.
While discussing my career and my future plans with a good friend two weeks ago, she told me: “Just keep being you. Authenticity gets people places, trust me.”
That’s the best advice I have gotten in a very long time.