After spending the last couple of days in a major funk, which resulted in me sitting in the dark last night alone listening to Sade and Christopher Cross’ “Sailing” on repeat, I knew something had to give. I preach weekly about being positive and looking at the bright side of things and here I was in the middle of my own pity party. I was actually getting sick of myself, lol. So I did something that will totally sound like I’m insane but it worked. I had a pep talk with myself and it went something like this:
“Marcy, this is not you. You are wasting precious time, being sad and miserable over things beyond your control. You know you only get one life and you don’t want to waste a single moment in a funk. You’ve had your moment. Now knock it off, dust yourself off and rise above it. You are your father’s daughter, dammit!”And after I said that last sentence to myself, a book fell off my shelf and was enough to scare me out of my pity party. Even in the afterlife, my dad is trying to “talk” some sense into me.
Sometimes we need to give ourselves a pep talk. We need to remind ourselves that things will get better when it feels like the walls are caving in all around us. There will be times in our lives where it feels like everything is going wrong at the same time and it feels like it is too much to bear. But somehow, we survive and we get through it.
I think the most important thing we have to rely on is our own persistence. Determination will fuel that fire and keep that fire within from going out. If we continue to forge forward even after falling several times, there will always come that time when we won’t fall. Instead we will stand tall, triumphant and successful. As I always say, the more you try and keep on going, the more you will succeed than fail. We only truly fail when we stop moving forward and make the decision to give up. At the end of the day, YOU are making the choice to give up. You are accountable for that action you make the choice to take. While we may be quick to blame others or situations for our “falls”, when it comes down to it, we always have a choice on how we let our setbacks affect us.
You may think you don’t have that strength within you to keep going on but you do. We all have that ability to endure setbacks and bad situations. There will be times when you will be amazed at your own strength. The key to tapping into this ability is to just make the choice to not give up. I know it sounds easier said than done but once you choose to not give up, you can get through anything. You will never hit rock bottom. You may feel like you’re coming close to rock bottom but when you don’t give up, you will be able to rise above it all and live.
(painting by Cynthia Angeles - Grief)
For me, being a sensitive and caring person is both a curse and a blessing. I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve and when people hurt me, I really feel it. I’m not one of those people that can just act like everything is okay. But the blessing with that is I get my emotions out, have my moment and then I can move on. A good friend told me this week that it’s good to have a good cry because it is good for our soul to release ourselves. She was right. I had a big cry last night and felt so much better after that. I felt renewed.
I ended my pity party last night, listening to Amy Winehouse’s “Tears Dry on Their Own” and went to bed, feeling a little lighter. Things are the same but I am going to surrender to the present moment and make the choice to not give up. Things will get better. I believe that and that belief just keeps fueling my determination. That’s all any of us can do, one day at a time.
Surrendering does not mean giving up nor is it a sign of weakness. Surrendering is acceptance. And from acceptance, change is born. If we accept things beyond our control and the present moment, we can then make the choice on what to do next. I choose to keep pushing through and having faith that things will get better. The good and the bad are all parts of this wonderful journey I am on. Everything happens for a reason and there is always a lesson to be learned. My journey is far from over.
“Believing in yourself is an endless destination. Believing you have failed is the end of the journey.” ~ Anonymous