Fearless Fridays: The Power of Forgiveness

This month, I am taking part in The Big Girl Movement’s  21-Day Speak Love, Spread Love Challenge. It’s a great idea that the wonderful Erica Ware of BGM came up with. She is always such a positive force for all women and a beautiful person I am proud to call a friend. This challenge consists of daily tasks we are asked to do, which help us to speak love and spread love…for ourselves and others. It has brought complete strangers together where we are all supporting and uplifting each other.

This challenge has been pretty easy in a sense for me until Day 15. Day 15’s task was as follows:

“For anyone who has wronged you, make the choice right now to FORGIVE THEM! Write a list of the people, or person, who has caused you pain, or discomfort, that you are having trouble forgiving. Once you create your list, say: ''I was deeply affected by what you've done to me in the past. I realize that I CANNOT change it, but I can accept it'' (Say it with conviction, like you really are ready to move on with your life. He who angers you, controls you. Discard of your list in whichever way you choose.”

For me, forgiveness is extremely tough and something I continue to work on to this day. Ironically, I am listening to “Bust Your Windows” by Jazmine Sullivan as I type this blog.  I listen it to now with a smile on my face because I look back to two years ago, when I found out that my boyfriend at the time had lied to me basically about everything. I was so in love with him and my whole view of him was shattered. He was an unfaithful man and a liar. He lied about how many kids he had, his situation, everything. I believed he loved me, yes. But his idea of love and mine were two very different ones. Back then, I was so angry and pissed off. I felt like I was on an episode of Maury minus the DNA test, thank goodness!  It took me some time but I did forgive him. I realized that I had to forgive him, not so much for him but for me. That anger was eating me up. And I realized that it was holding me back from really experiencing the love I wanted in my life.

We have all been wronged by someone but honestly, that will never change. People will always do something wrong. We’re all human and not perfect. This is what I had to accept. There goes that word again…ACCEPT. Acceptance is key in life. It is connected to so many things. I have talked about acceptance many times on this blog in other facets of my life. Acceptance is the base of everything in life. When you can accept the things you cannot change, which includes people and who they are, life becomes such a different experience. People can change but they have to want to change themselves. We cannot change them.

My ex, well, I had to accept that no matter how much I loved him, I could not change him. He needed to make that choice to change for himself. So I accepted things for the way they were (I certainly could not change how many kids he has or how many times he has been married) and let go. After doing that, then I could move on.

Forgiveness does not mean you are saying what that person did was okay. It’s saying “I accept what happened and I am letting it go”. It doesn’t mean you’re keeping them in your life. It means you are forgiving them and moving on. It’s all about cleansing your own heart and soul. When you keep grudges and don’t forgive, you’re essentially living in the past. When you do that, how can you move forward? It’s like you’re standing behind a closed door and refuse to open the door and see what is outside. You stay inside, unhappy and dwelling on what could have been, on what happened. Honestly, there shouldn’t be a “what could have been” on your mind because what’s done is done. You can’t change it. All you can do is ACCEPT it.

I continue to be a work in progress. Some are easier to forgive than others. I have one family member who I am struggling to forgive. It continues to be one of the hardest things I have had to deal with in my life. I remember the pain, havoc and chaos she inflicted onto my life when I was just 10 years old and lived with her for a year. I remember it like yesterday. She has never apologized to me or even showed remorse. I never thought I could hate someone like I hate her. Hate is pretty strong word for me because I don’t hate anyone but her.

However, in retrospect, her mistreatment and neglect forced me to grow up fast and learn to take care of myself so she gave me a gift. It could have been worse. I still managed to survive it and thrive. I keep telling myself…”When you forgive someone, you are freeing your heart and lightening the load within your heart.”  When you let go of the bad things, you are making space to let more positive things in. This is one thing I need to do to truly free my heart.

I am determined that I will. I have to do it for me above all else. Even though Day 15 of the challenge has passed (we are almost done at Day 20), I will still have my Day 15 from time to time.  Forgiveness is never easy but very necessary.

''I was deeply affected by what you've done to me in the past. I realize that I CANNOT change it, but I can accept it.'' 

It feels so good to say that.

The Frugal Files: Hooray for a Frugal Homecoming!!

Hey frugal folks!!

Thanks for joining me in The Frugal Files!! For many parents of pre-teens and teenagers, it’s Homecoming season!! You know what that means…football games, food, parades and partie are plentiful during this time!! It’s lots of fun for both the kids and their families!!

Just sending a word especially to the freshman parents, “Homecoming is not that big of a deal.” Let me explain. It’s a great time of fun for the students, especially when they are participating for the first time, but the focus should be on just that; everyone having fun. No need to tap out financial resources for one of Fall’s favorite traditions. It’s all about fun and it can be frugal!!

First, the football games. I’ve already addressed this topic in a previous blog: High School, Not High Priced. My best advice is joining the PTA and volunteering to work the concession stand. It’s usually in a spot where you can see the game, cheer for your team, and drink hot chocolate for free!! You “pay your way” by putting in the time. In most cases, your other children can do it too.

Organize your own tailgate parties with your kids’ friends or classmates and their families. If everyone is sharing the load of bringing snacks and blankets, it will be a great time for all involved. It’s a great way to get to know other parents that share many of the same burdens (and triumphs) as you do. There’s something very unique about the experience of having teenagers. As many children grow independent of their parents, this is a time to spend with them that all can enjoy. It’s family time, but also good, clean fun with their friends, which makes for awesome memories for their scrapbooks and yearbooks.

If you have a fall/winter sport athlete or band member, the other families who have these students become your extended family, especially during the active season. You’ll share the joy of attending the events, but also the fundraising aspect of it. I encourage you to work just as hard as your student does on those fundraisers. The time you spend helping them raise money, the less you’ll spend out of pocket for these activities. They help offset the costs of uniforms, instruments, tools and trips for the team.

Also, organize a weekly snack and dinner schedule and divide it among all team members. My daughter’s team did this and it works well because of all the weeks you might need to provide a snack or dinner before a game, your family will only be responsible for one, maybe two, but the schedule benefits ALL of the team members. It’s a win-win for all and a financial lifesaver!!

Now, the parties or dances. As a parent who has already experienced this, I promise…It’s not a big deal!! Homecoming is not nearly as important than say, Prom. Save your money for the big deals and use what you have for the small ones. From experience, my daughter’s homecoming dress was always a recycled wear; a dress she already had. I can’t really remember all the years (though I know I didn’t buy anything), but her sophomore year, she wore a dress she had from Jr. high. Her senior year, she wore a hostess dress from her Sweet Sixteen party. She had three outfits for that event and this one was the one she simply greeted her guests in. It was cute, comfortable and most importantly….already in her closet.

For your son’s, anything he’d wear to church is absolutely fine for Homecoming. A nice dress shirt with a tie and sweater vest and some slacks will do. If he likes suits, let him wear his favorite one, but renting one, should be out of the question. This time of year is more about fun than fancy, so save your dollars for the high school moments at will truly matter. If you do everything over the top for their freshman or sophomore years, what will they have to look forward to when they are seniors?

Lastly, there’s no need to spring for fancy dinners either. Have a home cooked meal and invite over your teen’s date to eat before they go. They will be satisfied and given the energy they need to boogie down at the dance. If they have a snack attack, they are covered because if they paid for tickets, then there’s going to be snacks and punch for them to eat while there. Side note: if you’re looking to chaperone, PTA is your answer there too. You can help provide and serve food or work the coat check (that was my job back then).

You see, there are so many ways to let your teen be a teen and have fun in a frugalicious way. As long as you’re focusing on the enjoyment of these events, they are not going to be concerned about how much it cost. Hope this helps all my Belles and families out there!! Have an awesome football season!!

Frugalicious Diva

Follow me on Twitter at @FrugaliciousDva

Fearless Fridays: Ignorance is Bliss

I am so hooked right now on the new television show The New Normal on NBC. This week's episode really hit home for me because it was all about dealing with ignorant people in the world. Someone somewhere will always have something to say. I know that fact very well from being a plus size woman in this world. When you're different and don't fit someone's idea of what is standard or "normal", it makes them uncomfortable and we end up being the brunt of their backlash and ignorance.

After spending many years, being so angry about it, I realized that I cannot fight the world. So I trained myself to ignore it. It took years for me to get to a place where I learned how to be oblivious to the stares and comments. The saying "Ignorance is bliss" is so true. And that's the kind of ignorance I want to deal with  - the blissful kind. 

Sometimes it's better not to know everything. I used to be so observant about everything around me and frankly, it drove me nuts. To know that people were staring…to hear what people were saying…it really made me paranoid and defensive. I always thought once I stepped out the house, it was not safe. So I would immediately put up a wall of protection and be ready to go to “war”. Whenever I’d go out, I’d always have words with at least one person or flip off someone with my middle finger. It never failed. I’d go home, feeling drained and defeated because if this was my fate, how was I supposed to be 100% happy? I was spending too much time, fighting the world.

However, acceptance is everything. It is certainly not easy but it is necessary in order to live a happy life. Once you accept that you can’t make everyone happy and that what’s most important is your own happiness, it makes dealing with ignorant people so much better. I also learned that if you looked at the reasoning behind someone’s words and understand where they are coming from, it makes it easier to not let it affect you. Just know, at the end of the day, you’re not the problem. They are. You are entitled to be who you are and live in this world just like anyone else, no matter what anyone thinks.

One of the characters on The New Normal said something during this week’s episode that really resonated with me. He told his partner that instead of dwelling on the losses, we should celebrate the wins. What a great way to look at things! For every ignorant person out there, there is someone who supports and celebrates people who are different. There are people out there who do not judge someone on their size, race, gender or sexual preference.

I think, while we do still live in a world where ignorance and hate still reside towards big people, it is not the majority way of thought as it once was. I feel a shift coming. Women are becoming more comfortable with their curves and accepting that not everyone is meant to be a size 0. The “Health at Every Size” movement is growing. Plus-size fashion is becoming a big business. Rome wasn’t built in a day and the world can’t change overnight. But one day at a time, we should celebrate the wins.

If we better ourselves by loving ourselves and owning who we are, we are helping in making the world change. When we show those ignorant people that no matter what they say, we’re still going to go out and live our lives to the fullest, this proves to them that their words have no power. When words have no power, they lose all credibility. By not being afraid to be who we are without shame, we are also inspiring our fellow plus size sisters to be happy and own who they are as well.

Me in Paris - 2010

This week, I lost a friend because she made a negative statement on her Facebook page about traveling with big people. I was shocked because I considered her a friend and was very hurt by her comment. I was even more hurt by her reaction when I said something about it. She was so defensive and accused me of being sensitive. She then said that since it was her page, she can say whatever she wants to say and not be censored. While that is true, still…what happened to being considerate of others? If you are my friend but have negative feelings about “big people”, then what does that say about how you feel about me? That means she and I would never travel with each other, which in my opinion, is her loss since I have been all around the world AT MY SIZE and have had a blast doing so.

It takes special people to be my friend. I know this. But that just makes me appreciate them even more. When I say “special”, I mean that they have to be considerate, loving, caring and non-judgmental. They have to love me unconditionally and see past my size. They have to not be afraid to be seen with me and not care what the world thinks. Yes, those are special people. So she was not one of the special ones and I severed the friendship.

I also learned that while I do ignore the comments and stares most of the time, it’s okay to say how you feel if someone offends you, especially if it is someone who is a part of your life. Part of changing the world is changing who you let into your world.  Having someone toxic in your life is only going to hinder you on your self-love journey. We deal with enough ignorance from strangers so why should we have to tolerate it within our own circles? I always say, if you’re not down for me 100%, then you’re not really my friend. A real friend won’t smile up in your face and then the next minute, talk negatively about being fat and etc. If you have an issue with your own self-image and don't love yourself, it is not my fault that I, on the other hand, can love myself at the size that I am. I don’t tolerate or allow that foolery into my life.  If that makes me sensitive, then so be it. I own that. I have a right to be that way. If you haven’t walked in my shoes, you have no idea.

So I am on my own journey to finding that balance between blissful ignorance and speaking up when necessary. I pick and choose my battles very carefully. Now I do have my moments when my middle finger has a mind of its own. But I am a work of progress. What counts is that I refuse to limit my life because of what others may think of me. As I always say, you only have one life to live, so why not live it to its fullest? Who knows? I may inspire someone to do the same. All it takes is one person to start a revolution.

The Frugal Files: Couponing Tricks of the Trade!!

Welcome back frugalicious ones!!

This week in The Frugal Files we’re going to chat about some couponing tricks of the trade. I’ve now been a couponer for a little over nine months and it has really had an impact on my life. I post a lot of my deals and steals on my Frugalicious Diva Facebook Page, but I still don’t really consider myself an Extreme couponer, just a frugalicious diva who likes to save money.

Couponing has allowed me to try new foods, drinks and beauty products, learn how to clean and do things around my house both naturally and on my own and it’s also allowed me to get beaucoup free items; items that my family uses and items to share with family, friends and non-profit organizations. It really is a way of life and I’ve learned a great deal in this coupon journey. Today, I just want to share a few more of the tricks I’ve learned. So, let’s dive in. Here’s my semi-professional advice to those getting into the game.

1) Keep it Simple…and cheap. One famous couponing blogger gave this advice, as she does it herself. Buy ONE newspaper. Look through it and find out, based on the sales, which ones you will be using. Now, if you can get others to give you their coupons, then great, but otherwise, use a coupon clipping service. She chooses the coupons she’ll need for the sales and orders the coupons online. She suggests the following sites:

Coupon Dede, Klip 2 Save and The Coupon Clippers  

They are not selling the coupons, but you'll typically need to pay an administrative fee and shipping costs. For a nominal fee, you usually get 10-20 of the same coupons. It seems to work for many. I haven't ventured into this, as my family is small, but I've heard great things. I used my local couponing groups and we share coupons. I like it free.

2) Go Small. Oftentimes coupons have no size restrictions. In that case, the smaller items are typically the best way to get items super cheap or even free. Take a look in the trial size section of your favorite stores and see if you can get that product for free. Remember, those coupons are always floating out there, if it's your favorite item and you want more (because the small one runs out too quickly), then refer to #1 and use the clipping service to get more of that coupon. Free tastes and feels good!!

3) Rip off the store...coupons. That's right and it's not illegal. There are coupons throughout the store that you can literally rip or tear off the shelves. They are called Tearpads. They add great savings to your shopping trip and are most often Manufacturer's Coupons, which means you can use them at any store, not just the one you're in. So next time you're scanning the aisles, look for these frugalicious nuggets and go save.

4) Take advantage of others'...negligence. I used to think other people were so lucky to find money randomly and I never did. Now, at the grocery stores, especially, I see people drop or leave money just laying around all the time. If you're not a couponer, you may not recognize that coupons are indeed money, but they are. Sometimes people don't pay attention to the coupons that print along with their receipt and leave them behind. If you see them in carts or left at your register, take them and use them. After all, it's just money left on the ground.

5) Let your money make money. With or without coupons, you can make your money do just that on your shopping trip. Ever heard of a catalina? Well, get acquainted because this is free money to use again and again. This is when you purchase a certain quantity of a certain product and the store or manufacturer awards you for getting their product. They give money back to you to use at that store. If you're using coupons with your order, you're just sweetening the deal. The good thing about catalinas is that they often "roll", meaning you can do the deal over and over and keep getting more money to spend.

I usually let them roll 1-2 times and I take the last catalina to purchase items for which I have no coupons. In a recent cataliina run, I got my catalina items, used coupons, paid out a little and got back my catalina. Then I turned around and got brown rice, ketchup, cotton balls, eyeliner, nail polish remover and even ground turkey, ALL FREE!! You are certain to walk away with several items for FREE, which is the absolute best part!!

Glad to have learned these things in my coupon journey and even happier to pass them on to other frugalicious divas!! Let's save Belles!! Feel free to share your saving stories with me on Facebook and Twitter!!

Frugalicious Diva
Follow me on Twitter at @FrugaliciousDva

Fearless Fridays: What Do You Love to Do?

**This week's Fearless Friday's installment is a day late due to some technical difficulties on the author's part. My apologies. And enjoy!**

I was talking with my 17-yr old cousin yesterday and we ended up on the topic of making things. I told her that it's great to be creative and how I love to make things. Her reply was "Being creative is boring." Then she went back to playing on her smartphone, listening to music, texting her friends and checking Facebook. Ah, to be young in this time and age.

Commodore 64 - ancient!

When I was her age, I didn't have an ipad or a cell phone. There was no Facebook, not even myspace. What I had was an imagination and creative soul. I was creating my own scripts for games on my first home computer (Commodore 64), making my own playlists on cassettes, painting designs on my jeans, making my own bracelets and hair accessories and writing. Back then in the 80's, things weren't so readily easy to get and I think it gave kids a deep appreciation for being creative and independent when it came to having hobbies.

Having a hobby offered me a way to channel that creative side of me and it offered me an escape from stress. Being creative and having a hobby helped me to discover my talents. Honestly, having a hobby or two keep me sane. As we get older, it's even more needed. We have a job, a family to care for, rent to pay, etc. Having a hobby allows us some time for ourselves. Many of us spend so much time taking care of others or focusing on things outside of ourselves so having a hobby gives us that ME time that we need and deserve.

Having a hobby will also put you out in the world more in different capacities outside of your normal routine and life. You will make new connections and have new experiences. Having a hobby could even make you really see your life's calling and cause you to embrace a career change. It helps you to get in tune with your inner self and what you love to do. It helps clear your mind and calm your nerves. Having a hobby is a spirit booster. It'll bring you joy.

My dad, taking a self-portrait using a mirror

As a kid growing up, I used to watch my dad in awe. He was the Hobby King. The man had a new hobby every other week! But later on, I realized that they were all related. My dad was great with his hands and had a sharp eye for detail.  So whether he was building model airplanes, putting together computers, building a book shelf, at the rifle range, shooting at targets or taking pictures with his 35mm camera, he was engaging in hobbies that used his great talents. My dad was very old school. He believed he should be the one to go out and work while my mom stayed at home and cared for my brother and I. So he worked very long hours. When he came home, his hobbies allowed him time for himself and gave him joy.

A hat I crocheted for my niece

I thrived on that notion about hobbies. When I was presented the chance to play an instrument in junior high school, I decided to learn how to play the flute. To this day, I still play the flute. It’s a great hobby of mine that clears my mind. The music soothes my soul. One day, while visiting my aunt in Florida about 10 years ago, I saw her crocheting and after watching her for a little while, I was intrigued. I asked her to teach me how to crochet. I’ve been crocheting ever since and especially love to make hats, bags and scarfs. When I am riding the NYC subway, I love to put on my headphones, listen to some Public Enemy or Amy Winehouse and crochet something. Something about the process clears my mind and then the finished product just makes me proud of my gift. I, too, like my dad, am great with my hands and have a sharp eye. I love to take pictures like he did and my love for travel allows me to take pictures and document my adventures. I have many hobbies I love, which made me discover that I have the gift of being able to make things. I discovered that I am truly a DIY-type of person and it brings me such joy.

However, my greatest hobby ended up showing me what my true calling is. I have always been a writer since I was able to put a pencil to a sheet of paper. It was a way for me to express myself and share thoughts that I was not ready to expose to the world. Despite many detours and bumps on my life’s journey, my writing always remained constant. It took a major shift in my life for me to see that writing is what I should be doing. And here I am. I have a short story being published in an anthology that will be released in November. I am writing my own book. And I have my own blog as well as having written for other blogs, such as this one. And I am just beginning! If that isn’t proof that a hobby can lead you to your calling, I don’t know what is.

A pic I took of the CN Tower in Toronto

So I ended my conversation yesterday with my teenage cousin, telling her that she needs to get a hobby. It doesn't have to be a major creative thing where she is making something grand. Not everyone is meant to create a fashion line, write novels, make jewelry or create fantastic works of art. But you never know...a hobby can lead to something wonderful. It can lead to you to further learn about yourself, push your boundaries and honestly, keep you sane.  And hopefully, one day she will see that being creative is her birthright and certainly not "boring".

I remember what my dad said to me once regarding choosing a hobby: 

“What do you LOVE to do? Whatever it is, embrace that and do it as much as you can. It doesn’t matter if it’s collecting bottle caps or writing poetry. If it is something you love, it is who YOU are.”  

Some people go their whole lives without doing what they love. And like I said before, who knows? A hobby may lead you to discover your true calling. And while you’re on that journey, a hobby will at least make you smile and give you some joy. That, in itself, is a beautiful thing.

So what do YOU love to do?

The Frugal Files: Last Minute Tips of Summer

Good morning folks!!

I apologize for the delay in my blog, but sometimes life just gets in the way. Juggling careers, kids and homes, plus trying to maintain Diva status…I know you Belles feel where I’m coming from and it’s not easy, but very possible!!

Anyway, let’s jump right on in. Last week, we talked about how we can save money with our children’s schedules, demands and priorities during the school year. This week, we’re talking last minute things to do before the season changes and we’re hit with a full fledged Fall and Winter season. We’re already getting a few nippy days, so it’s time to get in gear so we’re prepared.

Garage Sale – it looks like it’s just warm enough to have that last minute sale to clear out the old before packing it up for the winter. Choose a nice weekend and it is one last shot to rid yourself of old junk. Decide what you’ll get rid of and give it away or donate at the end of the sale. You’ll hopefully make a few bucks and have less to handle inside your home. When you’re finished, take this opportunity to switch out your fall/winter wardrobe. Launder your spring/summer clothes and put them away.

Frugal Tool Tip: Donate leftover garage sale items to a good cause and get a tax deduction slip to use against your taxes when you file next year.

Yardwork – the warm, sunny days are winding down, but it doesn’t mean we just let our lawns go by the wayside. It’s time to trim back those trees, so there will be less leaves and branches to be weighed down by snow. You don’t want the heavy branches to cause damage to your home or your neighbors’ homes. Also, get rid of your weeds, spray some weed killer and replace mulch if you need to. This will allow for you to keep down the weeds in the future and keep the ground covered and secured for the colder weather.

Frugal Yard Tip: Use a natural, cheap weed killer. Just heat up 1-2 bottles of vinegar (the 16 oz is good size), pour into a clean spray bottle and spray in areas where you want the weeds to be gone. Then lay the mulch to smother any that will try to come up.

Project Stockpile – it’s going to be cold soon, which means it’s time for heartier meals. Consider cooking in bulk and freezing for easy dinners for the entire week. The weather may begin to prolong rides home from a child’s practice, work or other extra curricular activities and you don’t want to waste money by stopping for fast food or take out every night. The better you prepare now, the easier it will be to ease into the weather change.

Frugal Stockpile Tip: The soup and hearty meal coupons are currently in rotation. Look for the sales to correspond with your coupons and start stockpiling food that will keep you warm in the winter and will limit your need to have to go out in inclement weather.

Get Your Tools – along with the seasons changing, your gear and tools change too. Now is the time to begin gathering and dusting off what you’ll need for the next several months. Get your rakes, shovels, rock salt, snowblowers, winterizer window treatment kits, storm windows (if you take them out) and tarps to cover cars, boats or in my case, patio screens. If you hire someone to take care of your winter lawncare, make sure you have their number on speed dial and they are ready to assist you when you call.

Frugal Tool Tip: Change your furnace filters. It’s a good idea to change them every three months (or even earlier if you have pets), so this is your reminder.

I hope these four tips will help make the transition to the next couple of seasons easier for you. We all have so many things to worry about, it’s always nice when we can be prepared. These tips are to keep down the stress in hopes you have a great Football season!! Shout out to our beloved Editor-In-Chief, Aja B. Stubbs, who LOVES her Jets!!

Until next time, stay Frugalicious!!

Frugalicious Diva

Follow me on Twitter at @FrugaliciousDva

The Frugal Files: High School, not High Priced

Hey frugal folks!!

It’s that time again!! Today in The Frugal Files, we’re going to give parents some tips on how to keep the fall frugal even though the kiddies, big and small, are starting to get busy-bee lives. Where does that leave you as a parent? Running right along with them and you’re probably in the driver’s seat…literally.

The other day my cousin updated her Facebook status with the mixed emotions of pride and wide-eyed awareness that she is now the parent to a high school freshman. I chuckled as she came to this realization as I remember that moment of truth too. It’s one thing to have children at home that are in activities, have different styles and tastes for certain foods. It’s a completely different thing when one or more of those children reach the throne of High School kingdom. That is a completely different ball game, and sometimes that’s literal too.

We’re no longer talking pee-wee leagues, we’re now opening the conversation for reputations, dances, dates, high profile games, competitive extra-curriculars and debates, both at school and at home. This is just the beginning. Of all the things that can happen in high school, we’re going to focus more on the financial aspect of it.

I used to think, once children got out of diapers, it would be less expensive for them, especially if you were no strangers to hand-me-downs. I was naïve because though it may feel like less because you get in a groove, a student starting high school, is like starting the baby process all over again. Clothes and tastes get more expensive and the activities they take part in get more aggressive. So, how can you survive the inflation of a high schooler and in some cases, even a jr. high schooler? Let’s just take a look and see. I’ll share with you with I’ve learned, done and watched others do.

Join the PTA. What is that? It’s the Parent/Teacher Association. I recommend it for numerous reasons. One, you’ll get to know the culture of the school, which includes the administration, the teachers, the principals and other students. When you’re in the know, your student will most likely do better and when he/she does better, there’s an increased level of confidence and self-esteem. These are important during these years.

Another reason to add this organization to your own resume is the volunteerism and connections you get to the other parents. You learn what others are doing so your student can be connected, but when you log your hours to help the school, you get the perks. Instead of paying $5.00+ for football or basketball games, volunteer to work the concession stand, so you can watch the game (and eat) for free.

Carpool. Yes, remember those soccer Mom days? It’s time to revisit those, but at the next level. Many families now have two working parents, or working single parents. Another reason PTA is good, is for the networking. If your kids attend public school, many live around the same area, so work out a drop off/pick up schedule for school and school functions. Get to know your children’s friends AND their parents. It will make it easier to get them all here and there. It’s also about creating and maintaining that village that raises our children.

Here’s another idea, turn your parent network into a small couponing group. This is especially helpful if you have athletic or band students. They are forever needing snacks and the coaches can’t always take care of that, so as the parent group, pitch in and save on everyone’s pockets.

Think Second Hand. It’s time for dances and parties and such. It can get expensive if your child is popular or always wants to be the life of the party. My rule of thumb with my daughter, save the “big buck” stuff for Senior Year. It will mean more to them then and they’ll have something to look forward to. So, until then, go second hand. That can mean borrowing a dress or suit, wearing something they already have, using a dress or suit drive (which is more prominent around Prom time), or my personal favorite…Plato’s Closet. They are all things teenager and the best part is they can make a little money on the gently used clothing they no longer want.

So, my advice to parents of those hitting the high school scene is to keep it simple, use your resources and save where you can. I promise if you save now, you’ll be in better shape for those Sweet 16 parties and the ultimate party: Prom. Until next time, stay frugalicious!!

Frugalicious Diva

Follow me on Twitter at @FrugaliciousDva