The Frugal Files: Settling Down and Changing Focus

Hey there!! Frugalicious Diva here for another week to challenge your thoughts and actions about your life on the frugal and fiscal levels!!

Last week, we discussed Project Reach In. This challenge allowed you to spread the holiday cheer while sparing your pocketbooks (or wallets for the men). Over the coarse of that time until now, we've experienced Thanksgiving that was probably abundantly full of cooking and spending time with loved ones. In addition, we've also encountered the frenzy of Black Friday, the support of Small Business Saturday and the confines of Cyber Monday. Whew...aren't you tired?

Well, while the sales ads fade, why don't you take a break too? Settle yourself and give your pockets a well-needed rest. You have a little over 30 days left of 2011. Sit down and think about how you can really make those last days count in your life overall. I've said this before and I'll say it again, "You don't have to wait until January to make new goals or resolutions." You can start any time, so start today.

I started similar challenge, because you know me, Challenge Queen, but used the last 40 days to do 40 things to better me. You can do the same. Let's try these on for size:

• Write your broad goals for the next 6 months, 5 years, and 10 years
• Write your specific goals under each category
• Write your individual action steps to get to each goal

This will help you focus on the future for you and your family. You can target areas like career, health, money, spirituality, creativity, self-esteem, leisure, etc. This allows you to stretch your thinking about what you can accomplish, as well as gets you in a proactive seat to get it done.

• Look for a mentor in your chosen field
• Get first hand experience from someone who has been where you want to go
• Use their expertise to write a better story for yourself

This is very important because having someone else to help you is a true leader's secret weapon. There are plenty of successful people before you, so why reinvent the wheel. Follow their lead and achieve your own success.

• Open a special savings account and use it has your "Bad Habit Account"
• Want to break a habit, then save the money you would have spent
• If you spend money on the habit, match it in your account

I really like this idea because it tackles our instant gratification mindset. It helps us to create new, more positive habits with our lives and our money. I'm not saying to not enjoy life, after all, we are Frugalicious, but we want to have good, healthy habits and that includes a healthy wallet.

• Write a list of 10 things you have always wanted to do, no matter how "crazy"
• Set out to do each one and once one is done, replace it with something else
• Include your family and friends to help you write the list or join you in this quest

This helps you not only stretch your thinking, because in the process you will be learning. It also helps to stretch your thinking about yourself and the life you live or want to live. It is an excellent self-esteem builder to do things you thought were impossible or unattainable. It also gives you more life knowledge and a larger frame of reference. It opens up the creativity in us and allows true joy to come in.

So for the next 30 or so days, reflect on the personal instead of the pocket. You will most likely still spend money, especially since it's Christmas time, but at the same time you will be teaching yourself and those around you valuable lessons. It's not just about the money. You have a real life to live. Make it count beyond overspending or collecting trinkets. Dig deep to see what's already in you.

Until next time...peace!!

Frugalicious Diva

Boutique Buzz: Black Friday/Small Biz Saturday/Cyber Monday Edition



Artwork by JNESS BBW Art


Whether it is "Black Friday", "Cyber Monday" and now "Small Business Saturday", the push for holiday shopping is growing larger and larger every year! People are ready to shop til they drop, starting at the crack of dawn (or even earlier--midnight!), while trying to get the best deals available in store or on the web. And shopping as a plus size woman is no exception.

I'd love to say that this is the most comprehensive list of places that plus size women should shop this key shopping weekend. Alas, it probably barely scratches the surface. However, these are a few of the shops, both on and offline, that we think are worth checking out for some great gifts for your favorite plus size ladies (even if that includes yourself in large doses). Do you see some stores that we missed or some deals that you think your fellow plus size ladies would love to take part of? Be sure to leave them in the comments section!

Happy Shopping, folks!

Avenue (online at http://www.avenue.com/): Thanksgiving Sale- Up to 50% off + free shipping on $50 on 11/23-11/26 only


Couture Queen (8400 1/2 Harford Road, Parksville, MD 21234): 30% off all merchandise in the store including shoes, handbags and accessories for Small Business Saturday from 9am-7pm. In addition to the sales, the boutique will also offer light refreshments for patrons and the opportunity to network with each other and share with other small business owners. (Note: store will be CLOSED on Black Friday). For store hours, visit www.couturequeen.net.


Eddy & Bri (online at www.eddyandbri.com): $20 off any purchase of $80 or more and free shipping. Promo code: TGWKND. Through Cyber Monday.

Johntines Boutique: (332 Malcolm X Blvd. Brooklyn, NY 11233) Pink Friday Sale. 11:30am- 8pm. Select dresses, tops and jeans 20%, 30% and 50% OFF



Just As You Are (online at www.asuare.com): Get 25% OFF Your order with code 25OFFNOV at checkout. Offer ends Nov 30th


Lands End (online at http://www.landsend.com/): 30% off your order (clearance items too). Just enter coupon code DRUMSTICK + pin 1121 at checkout. Shipping is free. Expires Mon, 11/28.




Lane Bryant: (online at www.lanebryant.com and in store): 50% off entire store + Cacique

Qristyl Frazier Designs (online at www.qristylfrazierdesigns.com): Save up to 30% off Epitome Collection through December 2nd


Queen Grace Collection (online at http://www.queengrace.com/): Save 50% off of all merchandise starting midnight EST 11/24/11 through Monday 11/28/11 at 11:59pm EST. Enter promo code SWEET50 at checkout.

Being Thankful for YOU

Special Note: this blog post is a day early due to the Thanksgiving holiday this week.

Thanksgiving is upon us and it is a time to be thankful... for the people in your life, the blessings bestowed on you, the things you have, etc. However, sometimes we forget to be thankful for the most important thing in our lives...ourselves. You should be thankful for YOU. As I wrote last week, there is only one you in this world so be proud and inspired to be you.

There are times where, even I feel like I am not reaching anyone, not inspiring anyone or not doing enough to help people in my life. Then I receive a letter like I did this week. I received a message on Facebook from someone I have known for a few years but we're just casual friends and barely speak. Her note said the following:

"I know we don't really talk or hang out. But I wanted to tell you that I always read what you write, whether it's on Facebook, the blog or on Twitter. I may not always comment but I have to say, you inspire me to be a better person. You keep me motivated to keep pushing forward. You remind me that there is light at the end of the tunnel and not to give up. Thank you for that."

Wow! I was stunned when I read this message. That just goes to show you that you never know who you are inspiring in your life. This is why I believe we should all strive to be the best person we can be. We are not perfect but we are imperfectly perfect. Our flaws can also act as our badge of honor if we look at them in a positive way and not loathe them. If we show the world that we can celebrate our flaws and accept ourselves as we are, think of how many people we will inspire by just being ourselves and loving ourselves. We unknowingly set examples for others by how we live our lives. And we will be so much happier if we were living our lives the best way we can.

Listen, none of us signed up to be role models but it happens, even when you are not trying. It happens even when you're in a negative state. People will look at you and tell themselves that they don't want to be like you! You can't escape this unless you lock yourself away and have no interaction with anyone in your life. But that would be boring. As Helen Keller once said, "Life is either a daring adventure or nothing." And this was a woman who was deaf and blind since the age of 19 months! And she ended up being the first deaf/blind person to earn a bachelors degree. She also never gave up on learning how to communicate with others, later on learning how to speak and becoming a public speaker among other great accomplishments. So if Ms Keller can overcome such obstacles and still be amazing, why can't you?

Be thankful for who you are and what you bring to this world. Because someone out there looks up to you. Someone out there is inspired by you. Someone out there is looking at life in a different way because of something you said or did. Be thankful for your unique beauty, your wonderful spirit, your beautiful mind, kind heart and great sense of humor. These are qualities that are not limited or determined by a dress size. As Joel Osteen once said "You were made on purpose. Your birth was no accident." You are unique. There is no one on this Earth like you. Like I wrote last week, that is pretty empowering. You have the power to make your life an amazing one. There is no one stopping you but YOU. It's all a state of mind. It's all in your attitude, whether you're a size 4 or a 24.

So this Thanksgiving, I want you to look in the mirror and say:

"Thank you! Thank you for being You. I am awesome. I am amazing. I am ME."

And then enjoy some good food, drinks, and company. It doesn't matter where you are on Thanksgiving - Life is what you make it. Enjoy the moments and be thankful for what you add to this already colorful and interesting world. Someone out there is thankful that you exist and for what you bring into their life.

Happy Thanksgiving to you all! I am thankful for all of you who read my blog posts and continue to support me. Enjoy and God bless!

The Frugal Files: Project Reach In...for the Holidays

Hey there frugal folks!!

Last week I shared some ideas for you to plan your Black Friday adventure. So, hopefully you've mapped out your plan and you're ready to come out of the trenches and man your stations. Just a little advice: be safe out there. Be courteous to other frenzied shoppers. Watch where you're going and don't lollygag. Get your items quickly, move to the check out, then to the car. Watch out for strangers and be careful heading out.

I wouldn't go out at all that day if I didn't have to take my daughter to work. This will definitely be an experience for her, since she will be working TWO retail jobs that day. She is up for the challenge though.

Now, the other thing about this season is all the events that take place. There are a number of gatherings going on from now until early January, including holiday parties, family and friends gatherings, brunches, shopping sprees, concerts, fundraisers, community service events. You name it, it's going on this season.

Especially during this time of year, many people are concerned with good cheer, loved ones and the less fortunate. In order to accommodate all that's taking place, Frugalicious Diva encourages you to reach in your own life. In fact, we're going to call this challenge (because you know I love challenges) Project Reach In. The idea is that instead of shopping, since you're already doing that for others this season, that you shop at home. Here is what I mean...

Contrary to what the sales ads say, this season is not just about spending your money. It is also about giving. Community Service not only helps the community, but it does a soul good. In this branch of Project Reach In, I urge you to "reach in" your closet, your basement, your kid's rooms and donate items to the less fortunate. Your children will be getting new items this year, so why not clean up and donate their old toys. Samaritan's Purse organization sponsors a Build A Box project, where you pack a shoe box with a special personalized greeting in order to bless children all around the world.

Be not only a good global citizen, but a good neighbor. Reach In your deep freezer and purpose to prepare two meals; one for your family and one to share with your neighbor or a family from your church. I recently saw online a great organization Down For The Clause who is passing on blessings because they have been blessed. Feel free to Reach In your heart to donate or even create a cause in your own area. The more giving the better!!

At the family and friends gatherings, decide to potluck. Reach In your cupboards and pantries and make your favorite brunch dish to share with your loved ones. Do you have a bottle of wine you've been saving? Reach In your cellar and bring it as a host gift when you attend a catered party.

Now for concerts and more elegant parties. Instead of buying something new for each event, simply Reach In your closet and shop. My friend does a weekly fashion segment on her local news station called Style in the City wMissy and last week she featured her first plus size model (YAY!!) For the last two weeks she's addressed fashion for events. She encouraged adding color and heightened elegance by accessorizing. So remember that plain black dress in the back of closet? Pull it out, add a scarf for color, put on your patterned heels and incorporate some bling.

You already have everything you need to celebrate yourself and others this holiday season. Project Reach In is sure to be a success for you. Enjoy yourself and love others!!

Frugalicious Diva

Taking Care of You: It Comes From Within

Two weeks ago, I talked about taking care of yourself health-wise and how that goes hand in hand with how you take care of yourself from within. This week, I want to talk more about taking care of yourself - however, this time it's about taking care of yourself from within since that is really the starting point in taking care of yourself overall.

Society paints this picture of what the standard is for a “normal” woman, how we SHOULD look like. That standard is not only unrealistic but honestly, it’s unattainable. I say that because we all come in different shapes and sizes. There is no one type of body shape. Some of us carry or gain weight on top, some on the bottom. Even thin women comes in different shapes and sizes. However, just because we cannot fit the standard does not mean we are abnormal. We are unique beings and we are all beautiful by our own right.

We have to first let go of that standard that has been drilled into our heads since birth. We have to stop thinking that the standard is thin or that skinny is beautiful. There is no standard. Most of the images we see in the media have been photoshopped and altered. As I already said, none of us are perfect. Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. Other people’s opinions of us don’t matter and shouldn’t matter. What matters is how we feel about ourselves. It’s not you – it’s them with the problem.

Someone will always have something to say but at the end of the day, we can’t equate their beliefs with our own happiness. Once you accept this, you will free yourself from that mess and be able to feel confident about who you are. Our view of ourselves controls how we feel about ourselves and subsequently treat ourselves. That is why building confidence and self-love is so imperative to having a successful and productive, happy life.

We all have parts of our bodies that we are not happy with. Sometimes it’s to a point where we loathe certain body parts. So first things first, you need to make peace with your body. You have to understand that no matter what your size, you are a beautiful person worthy of being happy. You have to realize that none of us are perfect. Know your worth, inside and out. Our flaws are what make us beautiful. I have a small c-shaped scar in that area under my nose and above my upper lip. I got the scar when I was 12 - my brother was playing with my dad's tools and swung a pair of pliers, which accidentally hit me in the face. I hated that scar for years until one day I decided that it was my scar and it gave me character and a story to tell. I also found out that the scar was not even noticeable to others until I mentioned it. Sometimes we make flaws seem bigger or worse than they really are. The world does not always see what we see. So really it's the power of the mind and how we choose to view those flaws.

Instead of focusing solely on those body parts you loathe, focus on the parts of you that you love at that moment. Take it one day at a time. Look in the mirror and admire that feature. I know for me, I love my hair. It is truly my crowning glory. I will spend quality time in the mirror, flipping my hair or trying new barrettes or headbands in it. My hair makes me feel good. When you admire a feature like this, over time you will develop a habit of admiring yourself, appreciating those features and celebrating YOU. It’s about changing how your mind works, which will change your view over time.

Now for those body parts you loathe, you can use the same concept too but in a slightly different fashion. Each day, focus on one body part at a time and come up with one positive thing to say about that body part or feature. I will admit that this is going to be hard at first but once you develop this habit of doing this over and over again, you will eventually change your mind about those body parts for the better.

Fashion is another great way to boost your confidence. We tend to hide behind clothing to cover up parts of ourselves we don’t love. Some of us think if we wear baggy clothes that our lumps, bumps and imperfections will all be hidden. While you may be hiding your body parts by swimming in your clothing, you are not flattering your body at all. And you wonder why you are not feeling 100% confident? Who would feel happy wearing unflattering, ill-fitting clothes? Think about it.

It’s as easy as this…buy clothes that fit. You’d be surprised at how clothes that fit you well will flatter your body. And don’t wait until you have lost 50 pounds to wear that dress you have been eyeing. Wear it now. Trust me, it will give you such a spirit boost and a pep in your step. If you love what you’re wearing and rock it, the world is going to love it too. When having a bad day at the mirror, dressing yourself up can also help get you through that day and help you strengthen your positive mindset on your body.

In the end, it starts within. It starts with the belief in yourself and your beauty. You just have to keep pushing through. Don’t give up. You might fail at times but at least you tried. Everyone’s confidence wavers from day to day. We are all works in progress. But if we keep at it, we will succeed more than we fail. Once you’re happy with yourself, the world will be a better place – opportunities will open up to you, people will be more receptive to you and your energy will be off the charts. When you love yourself, you feel confident and that makes you want to achieve your dreams even more.

Think of it this way: there is only one you in this world. That in itself is pretty empowering. And you have the choice and power to make you the best YOU possible. Life is all about enjoying the now since tomorrow is not promised to us. Wouldn't you want to live the best life possible and enjoy it now? I know I do!

Be proud, be inspired to be you.

The Frugal Files: It's Black Friday Time!!

Hey there frugalicious folks!!

Just stopping by to share some info with you!! So, Veteran's Day just past and I hope you were able to honor and recognize the many service men and women who fought and continue to fight for our freedoms!! In addition to honoring them, I saw that many businesses were honoring them with discounts!! We also got some discounts. I went to both Savers in my area for the 50% off sale. They were CROWDED!! For $16, I walked away with NEW clothes: I got two denim jackets, one was colored and three tops that fit nicely into my wardrobe.

All during that day I also noticed all the sales circulars!! It's officially that time!! It's Black Friday time!!

I have never personally participated in Black Friday sales on Black Friday, but admire people who do; their tenacity to shop amongst the frenzy in the streets. My cousins and aunts participate every year. I asked them what makes them successful; they have a plan. You can't just go out to stores on Black Friday all willy-nilly. You must have a strategy to ensure you are in the right place at the right time and that you actually get what you want.

Anyone who plans on shopping Black Friday with them MUST attend the "Sales Flyer Party". The first thing they do is gather all the resources; meaning all the circulars that typically show up right about now. They scour every page and mark the items they want or the items they know someone else wants. They discard of the circulars they don't need, then make a list of stores they will be hitting early that morning.

Next, they determine the times of the sales. This is helpful because they want to be there early as possible, as well as maximize the limited time in the stores. Then they map the route, based on the sale times to make sure all the items are covered. Lastly, they coordinate teams to make sure each store, time and sale is covered. For the larger chains they send each team out for specific items. That way not just one person is responsible for finding many things, but several people are responsible for finding just a few items each.

Now that the information is gathered and everyone has their assignments, they do a trial run to the major stores. This is when each team or representative finds the area where their items will be placed on that Friday morning. They even mark it with distinctive tape so they will remember and see it. They do take a gamble here, because the employees could remove it, but it's worked in their favor the last few years.

This is the most detailed plan I have ever heard of for something like Black Friday. I am so amazed at them and admire them for doing it every year. I have said I wanted to participate, but I just can't seem to commit. They do very well every year too, as they always get what they intend to!!

You now have some inspiration, so go and create your own plan; one that will maximize the savings you'll receive on Black Friday. In fact, one of my frugalicious challenges to you this year is to ONLY shop on Black Friday....okay, you can even include Cyber Monday and make it a weekend thing. Make these your only shopping days and you're done before December even gets here.

To help you out, I just wanted to share some links of Black Friday sales I've seen, thanks to some of the most frugalicious bloggers and couponers I know. Feel free to have your own Sales Flyer Party!!

Walmart


Sam's Club


Best Buy

If you're really into it and want to see other stores ads, check out the Black Friday sites like this one: http://www.2011blackfridayads.com/

Don't get overwhelmed and shop at every store, but do choose what's best for you and take care of it now!! Then, sit back and enjoy your December, free from the holiday shopping frenzy in the stores. Happy Shopping!!

Frugalicious Diva

Weekly Motivation 11.13.11

"Chase down your passion
like it's the last bus of the night."
~Terri Guillemets

Believing in You, Part 2

"It’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not.” ~ Author Unknown

Two weeks ago, I talked about believing in your beauty, which affects what energy you project out to the world and how others see your beauty. Confidence is everything. Now I want to talk about believing in yourself. Believing in yourself means believing in your greatness and your value to the world. Believing in your beauty is important but believing in yourself is imperative to living a great, happy and productive life.

Today marks 7 months since my dad passed away. It is also what would have been his 62nd birthday. The one thing about my dad that always amazed me was how he always believed in me and what I could do in this life. He believed in me when I didn't believe in myself. Sure, he's my dad and I am his only daughter so of course, he's going to think the world of his baby girl. But it went farther than that. His belief in my greatness wasn't just because I was his daughter. He truly believed I was destined for greatness. I was extremely lucky to have a father like him. He taught me so much that shaped me into the person I am today. I am not perfect but I am happy with who I am. I know my greatness and I believe in myself.

I think that the secret to life is that simple. You just have to believe. You have to believe in you; believe what you can do in this life. If you believe it, it can happen. Think of all the possibilities out there. If you can dream it, you can believe in it. Now I know you must be saying, “Well, that’s easier said than done.” That is true. However, would you rather let your setbacks and disappointments make your life one that never goes anywhere? Or would you rather be in the driving seat of your life and make it great? We only have 1 life to live and the choice is yours.

We all have setbacks and disappointments in our lives that have made us feel like it is never going to get better. But the key to getting through that and believing that something better is on the horizon is to recognize those setbacks and disappointments for what are: They are moments in time that test our strength and teach us a lesson. They are moments in time that are preparing us for the bigger picture.

Belief gives you determination. It gives you that strength to push through and keep going. When you believe in what you can do in this life and your value to the world, your view of life completely changes. It’s as if you then understand that everything happens for a reason; that the choices you make will have an outcome. Not all outcomes will be the ones that you want but it just means that, that outcome was not meant to be and there is a better one out there waiting. When one door closes, I believe a better, bigger door opens.

To truly be able to believe in yourself, you cannot listen to what others are saying. The only opinion that is important is yours and not others. You should never give others the power over your self-belief. Some people may have failed at a challenge that you are attempting and they may feel some kind of way. That’s their issue, not yours. There will always be naysayers. What counts is how you deal with those naysayers. Again, it’s your choice.

I know it’s scary to tackle a great challenge or put yourself out there but honestly, it is better to try than not try at all. If you fail, you learn the lesson and move on. But there is a chance you may succeed and you won’t know if you’re going to succeed unless you try. When you accept that failing is a way to learn the lesson, it’s like viewing a failure as actually winning. If you learn from your mistakes, the next time you try, your chances of being successful are even greater because you have learned from your mistakes.

Life is all about challenging yourself. When you believe in yourself, you feel fearless and feel that you can do anything you set your mind to. Believing in yourself means not being afraid to go out and attempt what you have been told is impossible.

A few years ago, I went to Hong Kong, China with my best friend Herman. I love Asian culture and have a fascination with Buddha. On Lantau Island at the Po Lin Monastery sits the largest seated bronze Buddha statue in the world. And it is said that it’s good luck to touch Buddha. However, you have to climb like 20 flights of stairs to get to Buddha.

We get there and it’s like 105 degrees, sun blaring. Herman takes one look at the stairs and then looks at me and says, “There is no way you’re going up there. It's too much.” Here I am, overweight and not in the best shape so of course, he’s thinking there is no way she is climbing 20 flights of stairs in the blazing heat and he is concerned, ready to throw in the towel. I just replied, “You’re wrong. I’m doing it.” If someone tells me I can’t do something, that just gets me fired up to do it even more. And I did it. It was extremely hot and exhausting. But I was determined to touch Buddha and I believed that I could do it. That belief is what got me up those stairs.

In life, there will always be that 20-stair moment. You can’t let the height of the challenge intimidate you or make you feel like you can’t do it. Believe in yourself and you can do it. When I would tell my dad that I felt I couldn’t do something, he’d look at me like I was crazy and say “Marce, stop it. You know you can do it. It’s a given.” Thank you, Daddy for believing in me even when I didn’t believe in myself.

So dear readers, look in the mirror and speak the following affirmation out into the universe:

“I believe in myself and can do anything I set my mind to because I am valuable to this world.”

And then get out there and start making your dreams a reality! You can do it! Just believe!

The Frugal Files: In the Short-Term

Hey there folks!!

The Frugalicious Diva is back for another week!! Can you believe 2011 is almost coming to an end? It seems the year went by so quickly, but I thought before the year ended they we might a jumpstart on our goals for 2012. So, this week we are going to begin to think about our short-term goals. Short-term goals are good to update periodically. For the sake of this conversation, it can be whatever you want to accomplish within the next three months.

In order to make this a fun exercise, we’re going to play a little game. I’m always looking for a new challenge; something that will challenge the mind and spark our creative interests. This is how it goes: I’ll give you a category and you write down what goals you have in the short term.

In order to help you get started, I will give you examples of goals, an action step or plan and an affirmation to keep you motivated.

Saving:

            Goal: Save $500 in either an Emergency Fund or a Living Expense Fund

Action Step: Set up an Automatic Savings draft from your checking account to the bank account that houses this Fund.

Affirmation: “I am grateful that income is CONSTANTLY increasing.”

An Emergency Fund is money you put away for emergencies ONLY; situations like car or home needs. Many financial experts suggest you keep a minimum of $1000 in this fund. We’re just getting started, so $500 is better than $0.

A Living Expense Fund is the money you put away for rainy period; for instance if you lost your employment for some reason. The amount you save here should be a minimum of six months worth of you EXPENSES. So add up your rent/mortgage, utilities, groceries and any other regular expenses you have for one month and multiply that figure by six. That’s how much you should have in that fund. It is only used if you have a loss of income, so you can still stay afloat.

Debt Busting:

            Goal: Pay off one debt (preferably the easiest one to pay in three months)

Action Step: For the next three months, give up one habit that will yield you enough money to pay off your debt (i.e. skip the beverage, dining out or monthly shopping trip) Put what you would have spent on your debt to pay it off.

Affirmation: “I am grateful I can pay bills and I do so with love and happiness.”

Declutter:

            Goal: Clear out the junk in my basement

Action Step: Make a list of items of which to dispose and put it on Freecycle for them to take away and clear this space.

Affirmation: “I am making room for only abundance in my life and my home.”

Give:

            Goal: Give a monthly blessing to someone else.

Action Step: Donate to your favorite charity or give someone something you know they could use and will appreciate. You can share what you already have.

Affirmation: “I give knowing that I will receive.” or “I am sharing my prosperity with others because I know that it is more blessed to give than to receive.”

Frugalicious:

I added this category because often times when we set goals for ourselves, it’s usually to do something we need to be doing. Well, being the Frugalicious Diva, I say we NEED to be living our life to the fullest. It’s not just about work, it’s us enjoying ourselves too. With that said, choose something fun or interesting that you can accomplish in 3 months.

            Goal: Take a Belly Dancing class

Action Step: Look in your city’s art/music district or newspaper and look for an affordable class to learn something new and exciting.

Affirmation: “I am awakening my mind to the prospect of prosperity in every area of my life.”

See, it’s easy to set your goals!! Now, it’s time to implement them; one step at a time. Say your affirmations, believe them and watch how your life changes positively. You can reach any goal you set out to achieve. Wishing you the best!!

Frugalicious Diva

Follow Me on Twitter @FrugaliciousDva

Taking Care of YOU

It’s Day #5 of me giving up soda. When I tell people that I have given up soda, they assume I have done so to lose weight. Actually, that’s not why. I have a heart murmur and I noticed that when I drank soda heavily, it started making me have heart palpitations. I lost my dad six months ago because of a sudden heart attack so those palpitations scared me straight.

I miss soda but I love myself more and am not trying to go into cardiac arrest. It’s just not worth it. I just get annoyed when people assume it’s for diet reasons. Just because I am a big girl does not mean I am spending my waking moments dieting. I just want to live healthier. If I lose weight (which I know I will since my calorie intake will be less minus the soda), it will be an added bonus. But that is not my main focus here.

What I have learned in my life, as a big girl, is that before you can make any lasting permanent changes to yourself on the outside, you have to be happy with you from the start. I know it sounds like an oxymoron because if you’re happy with you, why would you want to change? But honestly, change is good for the soul and even when you are happy with you, you’re not perfect. There is always room for improvement and we are all works in progress. So I have the attitude that while I think I am fabulous, I know I can always better myself.

No one is born with confidence, just as no one sets out to be fat. Confidence is built over time just as weight is gained. Confidence and being big are not factors that easily go hand in hand. It takes hard work, being honest with yourself and truly coming to terms with who you are in the present moment. Easier said than done. But if you can learn to be comfortable in your own skin, life becomes such a different experience.

Sometimes we’re too hard on ourselves. We’re our own worst critics. We nitpick and scrutinize little flaws and we begin to loathe those parts of us. The thing is when you loathe yourself in any way, even if it’s a small part of you, no matter how much you change that part of you, you will always find something else to loathe. It is a vicious never-ending cycle. This is why so many of us yo-yo diet. We diet for the wrong reasons. Many times it’s for reasons that are not truly for our well-being. Until you can be comfortable in your skin as you are right this minute and make the decision to not diet but live a healthy lifestyle, you will continue to yo-yo diet.

Dieting is something all of us can relate to. We have all dieted at least once in our lives. My dieting history started at the age of 10. When the doctor told my parents that I was 20 pounds overweight for my height and age, I was shipped off to live with my aunt. My aunt promised that she would put me on a strict diet and I would be 20 pounds lighter in no time. That was when my yo-yo dieting began. I came home 20 pounds lighter but ended up gaining it all back.

As strange as it sounds, for me, dieting was not about vanity back then. I always knew of my beauty and never felt ugly. I really think that was because of my dad, who taught me so much in terms of being your own person and knowing your worth. That allowed my confidence to build. So I never truly hit rock bottom when it came to dieting or food. It was just that constant yo-yo because all I knew was that being fat was something I was not supposed to be.

There is a huge difference between dieting and living a healthy lifestyle. Dieting is something we do for immediate results but they are not lasting results. Can you really live on microwaveable dinners or shakes for the rest of your life? Let’s be honest here…no you can’t. Eventually, you will get hungry for some real food and will fall off the dieting wagon. That’s what got us into this yo-yo dieting mess in the first place.

A healthy lifestyle is not something that just thin people have. Big people can live healthy too. We are all not meant to be a size 2. We all come in different shapes and sizes. It’s all about being comfortable in your skin and then making a commitment to eat right and exercise…to make that a lifestyle and not just some temporary kick-start type of diet to lose weight quickly. Trust me, once you start your healthy lifestyle, the weight will come off. You might not become a size 2 nor will the weight come off overnight but I promise you, you will feel better about yourself.

My dad, the wonderful man he was, always told me that what counts is what’s in your heart. And your size does not define how big or great your heart is. But you also have to take care of that heart. We get so focused on changing our outer selves that we forget that we need to make sure our inner selves are healthy too. The first step is to look in the mirror right now and tell yourself “I love you”. If you can do that, you’re halfway there. If you can’t, it’s time to be real with yourself and start working on that. Because if you don’t love yourself, how are you going to be the best you can be inside and out?

The Frugal Files: Seeking Abundance? Write Away!!

Hey folks!!

I try to find the significance and reason for my every experience. I learned a long time ago, that EVERYTHING happens for the reason. The previously frustrating thing about that fact is that we don’t always initially know the reason. Sometimes we never find out, but I’ve learned to trust that is it ALWAYS for my good, directly or indirectly.

I’d done some non-profit film work for a friend of mine I’ve known for years. We worked together years ago. I was happy to do it because I’m interested in both building my acting resume and community service. It was a good match. As a small token of appreciation, she gave me this beautiful yellow journal. It has brown pages, which remind me of parchment. It was bound with a cute lilac ribbon. As much as I cherished the thought and gift, I didn’t know what to do with it. As a writer and lifetime creative, I have tons of notebooks and journals. Here’s another one for the pile.

You know, I ALMOST gave it away in a freecycle giveaway, but I couldn’t bear to part with it…for some reason. I wasn’t sure of that reason, until recently. I belong to a Yahoo group called Million Dollar Manifesting Circle. I get quite a bit of mail from that group, but my own participation has become nonexistent. I receive the emails, but barely read them. One early morning, I’m about to delete them, when I got an unction to keep these specific emails. So I open them to read.

There, I was given instructions…to build and bring in wealth. The idea of an Abundance Journal was presented; for me it was born. I found a purpose for my new journal. It is my Abundance Journal. If you have a special notebook or even a bunch of scrap paper, it doesn’t matter. Start your Abundance Journal and journey today. You know anything I share, I’ve tried, or I invite you to do it right along with me. We’re all finding our way to wealth and frugalicous living!!

Here are some instructions to using our journals, many thanks to the Manifesting Circle. They are simple and easy to follow. The rest is up to you. You define your own way to wealth. It’s three painless steps:

1)      Write down how you are and have been focusing on abundance.

For instance, what did you attract today or this week? In my Frugal Sisters Yahoo group, I found I was already recording this in our daily ‘What three frugal things did you do today?” prompt. My examples are: I found money on the ground; I received an item I wanted from freecycle; I used a coupon I was given for a free sample of my favorite perfume.

2)      Meditation: Think about it and Receive it

I know this word sometimes has an intimidating connotation, mostly because we often associate meditation with gurus who do so for hours. I’m not necessarily suggesting that. I am suggesting that you take time to focus on wealth and abundance, even if just for a few moments. This is our way of believing that what we desire is possible. It’s where we envision ourselves in a more abundant state. We can see how we’re abundant; feel it. If we can conceive it, we can achieve it.

3)      Attitude of Gratitude

I added this one because it’s so important to me and hopefully to you. It’s here that we learn to truly appreciate all that is manifesting in our lives. The more grateful you are, the more you will receive for which to be grateful. It’s that simple. Abundance and prosperity is available to ALL of us, if we want it. When you began to see it unfold, mind our manners. Even as children, we were taught to say, “Thank you.” It is always the polite thing to do.

So now, we’ve learned to Ask, Believe and Receive with gratitude. Our affirmation this week is this profound one; a fortune cookie quote I saw in a Feng Shui book: “You and your world are the product of your thoughts.”

Now, go and write yourself into abundance!!

Frugalicious Diva

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