Empower U: New Year's Resolutions With a Difference

New Year's Resolutions With A Difference - 7 Questions That Can Help You Get What You Want in 2011 by Sue Clement

During the Holiday Season, with New Year rapidly approaching, many of us go through that same old annual ritual -- we make New Year's Resolutions. And in January, there's the second ritual: We break them faster than we made them. This year, why not do something different, and get set to grow your business!


This time, let's approach the whole resolution thing with a new attitude. Instead of just pulling the old ones back out of the hat, let's try something new. Let's set aside an hour or two and really think about the following:

1) The best and most exciting moments of this year?
What were the best moments of 2010? What happened that gets you excited even thinking about it. Write it down. Capturing those magic moments will give you momentum for the coming years.

2) What were all the things you accomplished?
In addition to those magic moments, there were lots more thing you did and accomplished. Make a list.
3) What worked?
Add anything else to your list that worked well over the past year.

4) What did not work?
Now we are going to get to the tough part: What did not work. What would you do differently if you could? Take some time and really think it through.

5) What are you committed to for the new year?
Okay, this one comes close to the old kinds of New Year's resolutions. But it's a bit different. You're not going to focus so much on losing weight and becoming a better person, but you're making a commitment to make the new year work better -- and make those things happen that you want in your life and your business.

6) Which one or two rituals would best support you?
Set up a ritual or several that will help you achieve what you just committed to. Whether it's to drink a glass of water first thing in the morning or spending a few minutes each morning and night writing a gratitude list, set up a few things you are going to do, every day, so they will become a habit by the time it's February or March.

Make those be things that will help you achieve what you want to achieve by giving you energy, by inspiring you, by improving your relationships with your loved ones, and by improving your bottom line and by helping you grow your business.

7) How will your new year turn out?
Every new year gives us a new opportunity to make the changes we want to make. New Year's resolutions done the right way can help us with that. After all, how the coming year will turn out is up to you. Spending some time reflecting on what you want to happen and then getting off on the right foot can help you get there.



CLICK HERE if you're ready to boost your business results even more in the new year. You'll get a FREE audio download of Sue Clement's profit-boosting teleseminar along with a detailed coaching guide.

Article Source: Ezinearticles.com

Empower You: Gratitude and New Beginnings

Gratitude and New BeginningsBy Will Edwards
Few things in life can bring up a sense of sadness and loss than endings. Whether the ending involves the dissolution of a marriage, the termination of a job, a forced residential change or anything else, we are thrust into a state of disconnection and emptiness.

Part of this feeling is caused by the disruption of our normal routine, but the biggest part of it stems from our reliance on the lost situation(s) as part of our identity. We don't know who we are without them, and we struggle to find a foothold in our lives again.

One way to make life transitions smoother and less disruptive is by using a gratitude focus.Gratitude can help you remember that along with the darkness of every ending comes the dawn of a new beginning. Gratitude can smooth the sharp edges of any painful experience and usher in a more gentle transition that contributes to your personal growth. Finally, gratitude can help you shed the burden of unhealthy situations in order to clear a space for something better to arrive in your life.

Below are a few simple steps to help you turn any negative situation into one of healing and growth:
1) Open a notebook or journal to a clean sheet of paper and write, "I grieve the loss of this situation because ___________." Write the reasons why you feel sad about your loss, how you feel without it, and how you think it will affect your quality of life.

2) Turn to a new sheet of paper and write, "I value these things that I received from the existence of this situation in my life: ____________." In this space, write all the good things that came from the situation you are now releasing.

3) Finally, turn to another clean sheet of paper and write, "The release of this situation from my life now provides an opening for __________." Think of how the release of the old situation has provided an opportunity for something better to come along. For example, if your marriage has ended, one possibility is that you can now invite in a healthier relationship that will better fit the person you are becoming. Likewise for the loss of a job, and so on. Find some positive things that will eventually happen because you are releasing the old situations/people/experiences.

No matter how terrible a loss may seem at first glance, there are always hidden blessings within it - if you're willing to look for them.

It's important to understand that it may take time to see obvious benefits from your gratitude exercises. Remember that there is a grief process involved when transitioning through life phases. Allowing yourself to feel the sadness of your loss will help you move more quickly through the grief. At the same time, giving more of your focus to the formation of something better can make the process seem less devastating. Do these exercises as often as you feel necessary to help shift your mind-set from helplessness to optimism and healing.
___________________________________________________________________________
Will Edwards is a published author and Founder of White Dove Books.
http://www.whitedovebooks.co.uk/

Article Source: EzineArticles.com

Relationships: Plus Size E-dating Ain't Easy

BBW can’t find SM: Plus-size e-dating ain’t easy

Many plus-size singles say their weight can get in their way of finding love

NEW YORK - Each day, Match.com sends Christie Hyde five potential mates based on preferences in her profile — age, height, education, religion, smoking.

But then she reads "slender" or "athletic and toned" for their preferred body type.

She's a size 24.

"It literally happens every day on that site," said Hyde, 33, who works in public relations in Daytona Beach, Fla. "I am open on the sites about my size. I am who I am."

The dating show "More to Love" suggests that love comes in all shapes and sizes, but plus-size singles say their weight sometimes gets in the way of finding love online, even though two-thirds of Americans are overweight or obese.

Cynthia Colby, 55, who works in multimedia marketing and promotions in Kitchener, Ontario, Canada, said she tried eHarmony and Match.com with no luck.

"Either I was overlooked or I would sometimes get someone who didn't read the part where I said how heavy I was," said Colby. She included that she was a large woman (size 20) in her profile and posted photos, but typically when she reminded matches about her size, they'd say, "'Oh. I didn't know. That changes things.'"

Continue Reading at today.msnbc.com

Relationships: 3 Keys to Choosing the One

3 Keys to Choosing the One
By Yvonne Chase

Think you’re ready for a relationship? Great! Your chances of choosing the right partner greatly increase when you know yourself, look deeply at what really matters to you and learn all you can about potential partners. Before you dive in head first, make sure you have the following three key ingredients:

1. Prerequisites
Simply stated, a prerequisite is a must; it’s a deal breaker. The relationship will not work if this is not present. There is no room for compromise. For example, either you want a child or you don’t want a child. If you are dating someone who doesn’t want any children but you think you can convince this person to change his or her mind, quit while you are ahead and find someone who wants what you want.

Here’s how you test a prerequisite. Ask yourself, “If everything else was wonderful in my relationship but my partner didn’t want to ever have children, would the relationship work for me? If the answer is no, then it is a prerequisite. If the answer is yes, then it is probably a need that can be negotiated.

2. Needs
Needs are those things that you would like to see happen in your relationship in order for you to remain happy and fulfilled. For example, keeping appointments and communicating when you can’t. You probably wouldn’t leave the relationship if your partner did not keep his word to meet you after work for dinner and a movie however it would upset you if he continued to take you for granted by not calling. Since needs can be negotiated, there is room for compromise. A quick phone call from him and flexibility from you solves that problem.

3. Wants
A want is the icing on the cake -- those things that keep the relationship exciting like leaving little notes in the car or surprising your mate with a weekend getaway. Wants normally don’t have to be negotiated, and the relationship would still work for you if they were not present.

In order to make the best selection for you, your choices must be in alignment with your prerequisites, needs and wants. You must also be the partner that you are seeking. If you want someone that keeps his word, keep your word. If you want someone that’s honest and trustworthy, be honest and trustworthy. Whatever you want put it out there and it will come back to you. Lastly, it comes down to living a fulfilled single life. Available and happy singles tend to make better partners and better partner choices because you are not desperate to be in a relationship. You can take the time to learn all that you need to know about potential partners because for you a relationship is the desert in your life not the main course.

As you take the time figure out your Prerequisites, Needs and Wants, remember this piece of advice from H. Jackson Brown, author of Life’s Little Instruction Book: “Choose your life’s mate carefully. From this one decision will come ninety percent of all your happiness and/or misery.” Now, that’s something to think about.
____________________________________________________________________



Yvonne Chase is a dating and relationship coach based in Los Angeles, CA. She can be reached at http://www.availableandhappy.com/ or coachyvonne@availableandhappy.com.

Wise: Andrea Amador

Plus Size Women Can Love the Skin They're in - 50 Self Image Makeover Morsel Tips
By Andrea Amador

How many times have you sighed about the size of your thighs, moped about your muffin top or groaned about the junk in your trunk while trying desperately to avoid temptation and stick to your diet? If you're like 4 out of 5 women, you'd say that you hate some part of your body and being overweight is why you feel lousy. When you feel lousy, you eat more, when you eat more, you feel terrible about your body. It's a self perpetuating cycle.

As a professional coach, body image/self esteem expert and a curvy plus size gal, myself, I've learned that the answer is not dieting. Research now shows that up to 98% of all people who have lost weight on a diet, regain all the weight back, plus more, within 2-5 years. This is because diets don't teach you how to deal with your emotions. If you want to feel better about yourself, you don't have to change your body, you have to change the way you think about it.

How to embrace your curves in a skinny obsessed society
Food and weight obsession is the fall out that comes from living in a thin is beautiful, pluck and tuck, chop and drop, image-obsessed society. As a plus size woman, you're built with a wider frame and larger proportions. Despite the fact that up to 67% of women in the US wears a size 14, fashion still caters to thinness, making the larger woman feel fat and ugly.

If you want to end the war with your body once and for all and begin to make peace with food, you have to first start by learning to accept your body as it is, with all the fat, chunky, chubby, and wobbly bits intact. Wouldn't you agree it's high time that we widen the definition of beauty?

Here are 50 quick tips to get you started on the road to self acceptance to lovin' the skin you're in:

1. Pause and do some deep breathing.

2. Make the decision to say goodbye to dieting

3. Become aware of your internal dialog

4. Make a list of the buggin' you's in your life.

5. Seek out a great role model for body confidence

6. Look in the mirror and find things you like about yourself.

7. Develop a strengths based awareness. Know what makes you shine.

8. Spend time appreciating what you have and count your blessings.

9. Recognize your needs and know that they are important.

10. Assert yourself

11. Remind yourself often of your accomplishments.

12. Spend time with people who respect and value you as a person.

13. Appreciate your body for it's function.

14. Get rid of your scale

15. Wear clothes that really fit you

16. Buy some new lovely undergarments

17. Praise yourself - Focus on what you like about yourself

18. Watch body affirming television shows like Lifetime's "How to Look Good Naked"

19. Spend time alone to refuel your spirit.

20. Touch your body.

21. Get more sleep and take more breaks

22. Make a list of your favorite things.

23. Avoid all or nothing, black and white thinking.

24. Challenge yourself to speak up and say what's on your mind

25. Spend time laughing out loud

26. Ask yourself, "how do I feel about ...?"

27. Surround yourself with beauty

28. Listen to your body's wisdom

29. Avoid the body comparison game

30. Flaunt your individuality

31. Start each day with a smile

32. Ask yourself better questions

33. Forgive yourself

34. Make peace with your past

35. Plan something to look forward to each day

36. Accept your imperfections

37. Enjoy safe sex

38. Say "No" to others and "Yes" to yourself

39. Be sensitive to yourself when you're feeling down

40. Create opportunities to talk about what's bugging you

41. Avoid shame and guilt

42. Commit to being your own best friend

43. Don't make it personal. Recognize that people are only doing the best they can

44. Take 100% responsibility for your life

45. Spend time in nature

46. Learn how to meditate

47. Write down your goals.

48. See yourself from the eyes of one who loves you.

49. Don't take yourself too seriously.

50. Volunteer your time and give back to others

Now that you've got these 50 tips to get started, you'll soon notice that your perceptions will start to change. As you focus more on what you like about yourself, you'll find more to like. And that's the real secret to being a curvy and confident woman at any size.

___________________________________________________________________
Andrea Amador, CEC, M.NLP is The Juicy Woman. As a certified professional coach and Body Image/Self Esteem expert, she teaches women who are emotional eaters how to overcome emotional eating, make peace with foods like french fries and pies and love their thighs at any size! Sign up to get her free Lovin' the Skin You're In Sampler: Self Image Makeover Morsels at http://www.thejuicywoman.com/

Article Source: Ezinearticles.com

Wise: Christie Higuera

Embracing a Prosperous New Year - 4 Easy Things That Will Focus Your Resolutions
By Christie Higuera

Each year, the whole world brings in the new year with a bang-lights, music, the loud roaring countdown in hundreds of languages across the earth's vast landscape. Typically, though, late morning on New Year's Day arrive and, sleepily and wishfully, people create their list of resolutions, or promises to change. These scribbles are usually lack a detailed description and plan and go something like, "I'm going to eat better" or "exercise more" or my personal favorite, "I'm gonna get rich." Instead of longing for these things for yourself, I challenge you to really get to the root of who you are and what is important to you.

Crystallizing your dreams can bring new opportunities and lead you on the path to living a rich life. You have one chance a year to sit down and do this! And these changes are for you and you alone-what a gift! Resolutions that manifest into action also benefit those who spend the most time with you, but really, this formula for success is yours. You have a clean slate on January 1, 2009. It is kind of like the start of a school year and you have new pens and a fresh notebook. Now-do your homework!

First, make a list of ten values that you embrace.

Honesty, integrity, hope, kindness, healthy living, quality family time...whatever they may be write ten down in ink!

Second, choose your top three (just three!) from this list that you want to work on this next year and attach one specific action to each value.

For example: If you are choosing honesty-you might say, "I am going to be honest with myself about what I want and deserve in a relationship."

Third, set a specific date and write down your plan.

For example, By May 31, 2009 I will have demonstrated honesty, healthy living, and prosperity in my life. I will do this by being honest with myself about what I want and need in a relationship and writing this down, going to my yoga class once a week, and starting and maintaining a home based business. Read this aloud once a day. This step helps to solidify your promise to yourself by serving as a reminder and a deadline. If you have a specific date in mind, your goal is easier to shoot for.

Fourth, visualize these changes taking place.

See them in your mind and feel how good it feels to demand the best for yourself in a relationship. Feel yourself after having completed an intense yoga session. Feel what it is like to have a business bank account that is overflowing with money.

Focusing your promises with these four steps will help you avoid feeling overwhelmed as the year begins. Your resolutions may be much different than the ones I have described. But no matter which personal values are most important to you, the same formula work as long as you take action and do what you intend to do. When you set a specific date and plan of action that you read aloud to yourself every day, you will find that it is important that you keep this promise to yourself. You may also find that it is actually effortless to keep this promise. Remember, it is for you, no one else. Once the date that you decide on arrives, you can see all that you have accomplished! Best of luck and here's to a happy, prosperous, fulfilling 2009!__________________________________________________________
Christie Higuera is a coach, educator, and future millionaire. For more information on how crystallize your goals with a proven formula visit: http://www.topmillionaireformula.com.

Article Source: Ezinearticles.com

Wise: Jill Andrew

In this column in which women share their dreams, challenges, and thoughts about the issues and trends related to being a BBW and/or a woman of color, author Jill Andrew discusses how every woman should be made to feel beautiful, regardless of size.

Last month I was on the train heading into CastleFrank station when I saw an ad campaign from Jenny Craig promoting none other than weight loss.

The Ad stated, “Do you want to change your underwear this year?” Pictured was an image of the quintessential cotton, moo-moo, “granny”, full-coverage underwear number that appeared to be able to fit myself and everyone else on the train in it.

And of course this was juxtaposed with the tres sexy, lacey, racy thong. Go figure, right? Another social reminder pushing the message that my “gluteus maximus” is not sexy. No. I do not want to change my underwear this year! “Stop force feeding me these ideas”, I thought. “I’m not buying”.

At the same time I happened to notice a young woman, about twenty-five, just about to occupy a seat between two gentlemen (Gentlemen? That’s arguable).

This girl was a plus-size beautiful vision. With great taste in stilettos, I might add.

The look these two idiots gave her was astonishing.Like a student in an OSAP repayment line, they looked at her with sheer disgust. It was as if she was invading their space, their world by simply sitting next to them. You would have thought She must have had anchovies and onions stuck to her coat!

The men kept shifting and turning, making sure everyone knew just how uncomfortable they were and more importantly, just how “out of her place” she must have been to think for a moment that she had a right to a seat on their thrown.Her face turning red, and her legs squeezed so tight as though a winning lottery was hiding there, the embarrassment was clear.

Gosh, my heart rate was racing!

She graciously stood up and held a pole until her stop arrived. The men with a look of relief, looked around to find an “audience” for their pathetic behaviour. That was my moment to say something, to take a stand.

And you know what? I choked.

The lady was at the pole, I’m looking around--my disgust about the situation painfully clear, and I could not find the words.

By the time I had come to my senses, we were at Yonge. It was time to get off, time to turn my head and go on with the day as if nothing had happened.

Would you believe it if I told you that I met the same woman on my way home? Okay, I didn’t. But the experience coupled with the Jenny Craig underwear ad was on my mind for the entire day.

Of course I am not here to say that nothing has changed. Sure, we are possibly more alert now maybe more than any other decade about the manipulations of the beauty ideal, but nonetheless we are still buyers of the raw deal.

Ps. To the lady on the bus…I apologize for my silence because in that moment, I was no better than those 2 ‘gentlemen’ were.

____________________________________________________________________ Taken from the in-progress manuscript of “Phat Girls in Search of a Pretty World: Hot Lil’ Fat Chicks Speakin’ Out"—a qualitative anthology of women’s experiences with size and identity in a real twiggy-obsessed kinda world. For more information contact Jill Andrew at phatgirlsauthor@hotmail.com or info@jillandrewmedia.com.

Independent Woman: Janelle Myers

[Original Post Date: February 2007]

In this column, which celebrates BBW and/or women of Color who follow their own path, we'd like to introduce you to this month's Independent Woman, Ms. Janelle Myers, founder of Chi Zeta Theta Sorority, Inc .

BN: What was the motivating factor behind your wanting to start Chi Zeta Theta Sorority, Inc.?
JM:I was at a point in my life where I felt the negativity i was dealing with was just how my life was going to be. I listen to friends and co-workers down themselves for not being what society has labeled beautiful. I always feel the need to uplift someone who doesn't realize how beautiful of a person they really are. I also wanted to build a sorority where it would be open to all women even if they are not in college because all women needs sisterhood and should have the greek experience. I knew building this sisterhood would bring joy to many women who felt that they had to be subjected to feeling unattractive,alone or just plan different. It has brought so much joy into the lives of my sorors and I. To me, with joy comes success.

BN: Why a sorority vs. any other non-profit organization?
JM: I felt a sorority would bring a special place to women. To have bonds only we can understand makes sisterhood even stronger. I wanted to build a sense of commitment, uplifting our community and gaining self-love. I also wanted the women who is a part to build a sense of pride in representing this unique sorority and enjoy themselves as well.

BN: What is the sorority’s motto or mission statement?
JM:Our motto is "Celebrating Within, Uplifting Throughout"

BN:When did the plans for Chi Zeta Theta Sorority, Inc. first start to take shape?
JM: Shortly after Chi Zeta Theta Sorority was founded in August 11th 2005, I immediately began doing research on how to build such an organization and what it requires. The sorority colors, flower, mascot, jewel, crest etc. was all researched and has very special meanings behind them which is taught to the members. It took hard work and dedication. I had a few set backs and even slowed down the process because I thought it maybe too much for me to handle alone. Not to long after-wards, my personal profile on a website was featured as member of the week and thousands read the little information I had about the sorority that will one day blossom to what it is today. At that point I thought, I can't let these women down and it was the women who were interested in helping to build that kept me going and til this day I thank them all. It was my sign.

BN: What has been the most rewarding part of being a founder of an organization that has grown so quickly?
JM: My sorors giving me the strength to push this organization to being it's best and to be my best. Also the messages from women all over the U.S. sending there blessing and appreciation that a sisterhood such as Chi Zeta Theta Sorority, Inc. is now a reality.

BN: What is one quote/phrase that inspires you to do your best work?
JM: "Something which we think is impossible now is not impossible in another decade." — Constance Baker Motley

For More Information on Chi Zeta Theta Sorority, Inc. please visit their website at plussizesorority.ning.com.

Relationships: 10 Dating Red Flags

Relationships: 10 Dating Red Flags
By Rich Santos
[Source]

When determining if you should let things get serious, remember: actions speak louder than words. With that being said, here are ten dating red flags. If you see any of these, do yourself a favor and reconsider if it's worth it for you.



1. You are not on the VIP list for breaking news
Were you the last to learn about this person's job promotion or newborn niece or nephew? Once things are serious, you should be among the first to know about exciting news, or bad news.



2. They avoid meeting your family or friends
If they are shying away from meeting your friends/family consistently, then there are problems. Even if they are very shy, they should want to meet those who are important to you.

3. They don't make any sacrifices
Healthy relationships don't require bending over backwards all the time, but a certain amount of sacrifice is necessary in a selfless union. When two of my friends first started dating one another, she demanded that he go to Farm Aid for her birthday, which was also the opening NFL football Sunday. While all the guys gathered to watch the games, he was sweltering on some field attending Farm Aid -- an event he never would have gone to if she hadn't have invited him. Now that's sacrifice.



4. They can't fit in your future
I admit it. When I meet girls, I envision future moments I may some day share with them. Most of my scenarios are her with me and my family at a Thanksgiving holiday or at a summer crabfeast. If I'm really into her, I usually relish the thought. If not, I kinda cringe.



5. They are too controlling
It's scary but I've seen many relationships where guys forbid girls to hang out with certain friends, or wear certain clothes. Major problem if someone is controlling you and not allowing you to be who you want to be within a relationship.



6. The "what are we" conversation fails miserably
Almost every relationship hits that crossroads where you both decide if it's worth taking the plunge into being exclusive and calling each other boyfriend/girlfriend. If they are confused and surprised that you're ready to get serious, the timing is not right, and you should try to figure out how long you want to wait around until they are ready.

7. They talk about plans that don't involve you
My sister has major wanderlust. She's always talking about heading off to Chicago or living in London for a year. She often talks about these things with no regard for the fact that she has a boyfriend at the time. If you find that someone is making plans or talking about far off places without inviting you along for the ride, don't let yourself get too into this person.



8. Your friends or family don't like them
Remember that your friends and family know you best. Don't take their thoughts with a grain of salt. It's one thing if a person or two don't get along with your significant other, but if a lot of them are saying you should reconsider, then do it. Unfortunately, we often find out about how much our friends hated that person after this person is gone.

9. They violated your trust
Whether it's cheating or a little lie that they got caught in, it will be hard to regain trust. Trust is something we don't give away easily, and once it's gone it's hard to get it back. We'll always be wondering about that lie, and doubt will creep in more and more as our minds fixate on that lie. Too often, people take trust for granted and once they lose it they never get it back.



10. You practice "unbalanced dating"
Are you always seeing his friends or doing things that he wants to do? Do you just let him pick the restaurants and events? Or is it the other way around? Relationships are fun when you are both able to contribute. If you're not taking turns creating fun times together, it will most likely fizzle out.



What would you add to the list? Ever been a victim of any of these red flags?

Independent Woman: Krys Nicole

In this feature column, which celebrates plus size and/or women of Color who follow their own path, we'd like to introduce you to this week's Independent Woman, Ms. Krys Nicole, founder of Thicksational.com, a celebrity gossip blog dedicated to plus size celebrities!

Thank you for taking the time to talk with is. Before we learn more about Thicksational.com, we would like our readers to know a little bit more about its creator. Who is Krys Nicole?
Krys Nicole: Thank you for the opportunity! I was born and raised in Southern California so I found out at an early age how superficial this world can be about size. My whole family was thin and any activities I was in as a child I was always the “thick” girl. It was very hard trying to teach myself how to be confident when there was no one at home or in the public eye who looked like me.I started to gain confidence by finding inspiration in Janet Jackson. I know most see Janet now as a thin pop star but back in the 80’s Janet was thicksational! When I saw Janet’s video “Control” I saw a woman who was a reflection of me. Janet had the attitude that nobody could stop her. She was in control of her life and her success no matter what size she wore. Still to this day she is still my inspiration! However, despite my size I was a very popular and involved in school. After graduating from college I started to work in the entertainment industry and it was rough! I experienced a lot of discrimination! It was sad to see how some people are in Hollywood. Everybody looks the same people are desperately trying to get thin even if it takes drastic unhealthy measures to achieve it. I think my experiences in the industry and my life experiences was really the foundation of why I want to make a change in this “cookie cutter” society.

What inspired you to start Thicksational.com?
Krys Nicole: Well I am an avid blog reader and one day I started to notice that the blogs I read daily did not have a lot of postings about thicksational celebrities unless it was a post bashing them about their weight. So when there was news about plus size celebrities I would email some of the blog owners with the latest info and they would never post the information.Therefore I figured if they wouldn’t post the latest news about celebrities that look like me, I would create a blog focused on thicksational celebrities.

Why do you think the media is so reluctant to feature plus size celebrities unless they are working on current projects?
Krys Nicole: Their size! I wish there was another reason but there isn’t. What’s the difference between Queen Latifah and Beyonce? Queen Latifah is beautifuland talented. She can act, sing, rap, write and produce but for some reason the media does not consider her to be on the same level as thin celebrities. I guarantee if Queen Latifah was a size 2 there would be more hype and focus on her.

What are some of your favorite blogs to read? Do you have a daily“must read”?
Krys Nicole: To be honest since I’ve created my own blog, I rarely go to other blogs because I am so busy but I do try to visit Clay Cane’s blog often. I think he is very funny but still talks about important issues in the worldof entertainment. I also like the fact that he is old school. He is young but he loves 80’s music like me lol!

Where would you like to see Thicksational.com in 5 years?
Krys Nicole: I see thicksational.com being more than celebrity gossip. I want thicksational women to come to the site and be able to share their stories and vent about what they go through as plus size women. I want women to come on the site and be motivated and to see that it is okay to love who they are and they can still be thicksational at whatever size they wear. I want my blog to have a voice where people will think twice about discriminating against a thick girl because they know that I will put them on blast if they ever discriminate against a thickette! I also want to develop a clothing line. Girl I want to be a plus size mogul! LOL!

What is one quote/saying that gives you inspiration?
Krys Nicole: If you only have faith in God this is the absolute truth – all that is required is that you really believe and have no doubt! You can pray for anything and if you believe you have it; it’s yours!

Wise: She Ain't Heavy

She Ain't Heavy
By Stephanie Goddard Davidson

I remember the turning point clearly. I was in the eighth grade, standing outside of the cafeteria in my lime green polyester skirt, when I discovered something that has been a constant and unwelcome companion ever since: a little roll of fat below the elastic waistband where there once was only flatness. I had recently started to feed myself chips and sodas as after school snacks, but I just knew my body would stay as trim as it always had. Based on the soft evidence before me, my body had no plans to abandon natural laws and cooperate with my new eating regime.

It became more than just speculation at that moment, that my body did indeed have a mind of its own. I'd had hints in the past, but I figured it was just slow to catch up. For instance, it didn't grow boobs when I wanted it to (nor were they as big as I would have liked, once they did show up). My period didn't start in the 4th grade, as I had fervently wished on the first star on many nights; it showed up in the 6th grade instead. While my body did bend and jump and run well enough to stay in shape for dance recitals, and make the cheerleading squad, the bump in my nose was surely keeping the boys away---and did I have to be so tall (5'3") for the school dance?

Now at almost 45, I find myself still in this battle with "my" body. Why can't it stay thin without exercise and eating right (whatever that means)? And am I going to have to have my flaws surgically altered at some point? I mean, the hundreds of dollars spent on products wasn't doing all that much. And my hair! Is it right for my features and couldn't it be easier to style in the morning? Is it too aging or does it make me look like I'm trying too hard to look young (which is exactly what I'm up to)?

Ugh. My body, as usual, just isn't cooperating. Admittedly, the damn thing is still here even with my decades-long smoking addiction (which is on its way out -again). And I'll also be the first to show surprise that for some reason, lately, I just don't have an interest in alcohol (and thank God, because that one definitely got in my way). Maybe that has to do with the long-overdo divorce? Hmmm. Maybe the small seed being planted lately in the media---where having a body that doesn't resemble a supermodel's is becoming something to tolerate---has taken root?

Intellectually, I get those Dove commercials with the plus-size models and I absolutely can't wait for the next episode of Carson K's 'How to Look Good Naked.' I get that we are all "supposed" to (is that an order?) love our bodies. You know, love yourself. Self-love. The "L" word. Well, I can say for certain that I don't LOVE my body despite its ability to put up with all sorts of interference and the fact that it actually does look a little better than the gals selling Dove.

All these years later, my body is still here--and still has a mind of its own--and that has to mean something, doesn't it? What I've done and thought and said up to now hasn't worked. So what will? My body is clearly not going anywhere and is definitely not going to defy gravity or physics in this lifetime. So now what?

What I know from years of therapy, journaling and Oprah, is that this goal of weight loss is NOT a complete-and-total-change-forever goal. There are two reasons that this goal is likely to be temporary once again:

1. Being skinny takes me out of what I lovingly call, the Girl's Club. By that I mean, I don't get to bitch about my body and its lack of desirability with my friends and female coworkers when I look, well, desirable.

2. The second reason this goal may be almost met and then abandoned, is that it makes me a candidate for sex. Eeek. While I am a big fan, it comes with a lot of complications. Hangers-on or a broken heart and plus I'm a MOM and we aren't sexy just in case you were wondering. I mean I'm actually gonna need the 15 lb. cushion to send that message. Right?

So back I go to eating right and exercising and sleeping more than 8 hours a night and taking vitamins. I'm on my way to looking good---once again. I am doing the bodywork I need to do to accomplish this goal, that I have accomplished and unaccomplished many times. This goal is all I think about, even now, while that little voice in the back of my head is saying, "Until the next time that you stop working out or start eating whatever you want or..." I know it. My body knows it. And frankly anyone that's been paying attention to my version of chitchat knows it. So what's different today?

Something shifted this morning. Something really important just kind of happened to me mentally. I'm not sure how, but I have a feeling as to why. I have been reading and listening to tapes and taking seminars for all sorts of reasons, not the least of which is that it's my job. And with these new pieces of information and encouragement, I have recently declared (for possibly the 30th time in my life) that I will, once again, lose 15 pounds and look great soon. The Epiphany-- with a capital "E"-- that you've all been waiting/reading for is: why don't you relate to your body the way it has related to you and be your body's friend for a change?

This isn't the same thing, in my mind, as LOVING my body. That's not realistic for me. But my body has actually been pretty cool to me, considering the way I've been treating her. And she is a 'her', by the way. She sits quietly in the background while I take her for these roller coaster rides when I'm bored or angry or sad or lonely. The term "roller coaster ride" is my shorthand for binge eating or drinking or sex with just anyone. It's been my way of dealing with the outside world. My reasoning is to make myself/her incoherent on the inside and then the outside won't feel so bad. It hasn't worked yet, but when it does, I'll let you know. And in the meantime? She brushes herself off after each episode and gets up the next morning and keeps going.

I look down today and see my tired, slightly lumpy body as, quite possibly, the most remarkable creature I can think of-a true friend. This friend has hung in there despite my attempts to stop hanging out with her. She has really come through, even though she hasn't been given any encouragement from me to stay consistent and trustworthy. Admittedly, she is not very energetic and feels a little sad and there is that literal pain in my/her neck, but all and all, she's trying. She gets it done. Day after day.

If I really was carting around a friend at all times, how would I treat her, I wonder? Would I let her only sleep a little and not as much she needs? Would I feed her whatever's easiest? Would I let her sit all day on an uncomfortable chair while she works? Would I insist she wear shoes that hurt her feet so that she looks good to others?

Would I point out how puffy her eyes are and how her hair is doing that weird flippy thing on one side again? Would I compare her to the celebrities in People magazine and complain to her that she doesn't measure up? Would I tell a friend to skip some of her pap smears and mammograms because they are inconvenient and might show something she doesn't want to see anyway?

And of course my answer is no. I might share some things eventually and delicately, but I wouldn't blame her for these things. I'd point them out as possible improvements, if she is so inclined. And what isn't in my "friend's" power to fix? Then I would accept those things as part of who she is and like her anyway. Maybe even love her, if that's in the cards, as I get to know her again for the first time in thirty-plus years.

I am holding the idea of body-as-friend in my mind today. As I move throughout today (thanks to her) I will continue to focus my mind back to this bizarre, yet exciting, realization---my body is not my enemy and is quite possibly my friend. While I haven't been much of a participant in this friendship, she has, and I owe her big time. I may slip back into old habits, but I have the intention, at least for today, of making a new habit---treating my body like the lifelong friend she is.

She really has been a great one. I only hope I still deserve her.

____________________________________________________________________ Stephanie Goddard (Davidson) is considered a subject matter expert in workplace communications and specializes in leadership and interpersonal skills training.

Frequently appearing as a guest on radio programs and published in numerous articles on workplace communications, Stephanie is also a nationally certified trainer for Covey's Seven Habits of Highly Effective People; DDI programs; Ridge's People Skills for Managers and Individual Contributors; Myers-Briggs Type Indicator; FranklinCovey's Project Management and master certified in Achieve Global's Management Programs; as well as an instructor with the American Management Association.

Go to her website for even more articles at http://www.work-stress-solutions.com

Article Source: Ezinearticles.com

Wise: Six Traits You Don't Need

Wise: 6 Traits You Don't Need

By Alexys Fairfield

Do you ever feel like you are burdened with the weight of the world on your shoulders? Often times the weight of the world is really the weight of your inner world. The world that you may neglect at times, unbeknownst to you. Sometimes when we get so busy in our lives, we may inadvertently channel these traits that we can really live without.

1. Anger - Two words; not good. Two more words; anger management. It's no fun being on either end of anger. Though sometimes it is justified, anger can be an emotional tsunami with serious health complications that can shorten life span and interfere with quality of life.

In a major study, researchers at the University of California, Berkeley identified chronic anger and hostility as key triggers of smoking and excessive drinking, and obstacles to healthy immune function. In addition, episodes of anger were found to play a role in the onset of potentially deadly ischemic strokes.

Anger typically occurs in degrees, ranging from mild annoyance to intense rage and not all of it is vocalized. It is best to communicate, if that's not possible, learn to differentiate between the action you WANT to take and the action you MUST take.

2. Aggression - We often hear that aggression is good, but is that really the case? Like a lion ready to pounce, aggressiveness puts us on edge. It may be a jungle out there, but that does not mean that we have to be the lion. It's true that you can get more flies with honey than with vinegar. Do aggressive people really get ahead or do they ruffle as many feathers as possible to rise to the top? What aggressive people may not realize is that what goes around comes around.

3. Fear - We are here to experience life at it's fullest. Living in fear is like living in a lunar eclipse; you can never see the illumination because your joy is being blocked. Take small steps, feel the fear and do it anyway.

4. Lying - There is a difference between harmless white lies and lies that can harm, defame and ruin someone's life. If you have to lie to other people, then you are really lying to yourself. Being honest and having integrity is worth more than lying for any reason. There are exceptions, but use discretion if you have to stretch the truth. Think of the outcome before you say it.

5. Infidelity - There is no excuse for this. The statistics are staggering. Most infidelity goes undetected. Given the secretive nature of infidelity, exact figures about cheating and extramarital affairs are nearly impossible to establish. It is estimated that roughly 30 to 60% of all married individuals (in the United States) will engage in infidelity. These numbers are probably on the conservative side, when you consider that close to half of all marriages end in divorce.

If you feel that you have to cheat, then you should probably get out of the relationship. Why put your partner through the pain of adultery? We all want to be loved, but when we pick the wrong partner, that can lead to a lifetime of pain and baggage that can follow us from relationship to relationship. It's better to pack your bags than to have baggage.

6. Ridicule - Putting other people down to elevate yourself shows a defect in your character. If there is something inside of you that gets a kick out of another's downfall, then something inside of you is off kilter. It behooves us to treat others as we want to be treated. People don't want to be mistreated. When an elephant falls, even the frogs don't kick him.

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Alexys Fairfield is a writer and rhapsodist in Los Angeles who specializes in ways to enlighten the human experience while helping individuals find happiness and fulfillment in this moment. Embrace this journey of a lifetime. Life gives you wings, all you have to do is fly. http://www.soulmeetsworld.com/

Article Source: EzineArticles.com