The Scene: :"Big Brooklyn Style" debuts TONIGHT on TLC!

Shout out to @ShellzKing for reminding us that "Big Brooklyn Style" will debut tonight at 10pm EST on TLC!

Lisa Dolan, owner of Lee Lee's Valise
(photo credit: TLC.com)

What's "Big Brooklyn Style"?  "Big Brooklyn Style" is a new realtiy TV series that follows Lisa and Jim Dolan as they redefine the norms of plus-size shopping in their Brooklyn clothing store, Lee Lee's Valise.

" Each episode focuses on three different customers and how their intimate shopping experience at the store helps transform their lives. Through laughs, drama, and some tears, Lisa and her team seek to transform not only their customers' wardrobe, but their outlook on life and themselves. Ultimately, Lisa's goal with Lee Lee's Valise is for women of all shapes and sizes to feel confident, fashionable, and sexy." - from the show's website.



We are very excited to catch the show tonight! You can check the TLC website for station information in your area. If you're on Twitter, you can get in on the discussion by using hashtag #bigbrooklynstyle.

We'll be watching--will you?

The Frugal Files: DIY Challenge: Do It Yourself Cleaning Part II

Hey there frugalicious folks!! Welcome back!!

Last week we took care of some of our easy and medium cleaning areas: glass, surfaces and the kitchen floor. I hope you tried some homemade recipes for your natural, non-harsh cleaning regimens. These concoctions are easy to find and easier on the wallets. I love being able to do things myself and save, don’t you?

I hope everyone had a great holiday and was able to celebrate service men and women who fight or have fought for our freedoms here in the US. It’s a day of thanksgiving and if your family is anything like mine, it’s one of family time too. Every Memorial Day, my family gets together to visit my Grandparents’ graves, cleans off their headstones, fellowships and says a prayer for those living and those that went before us.

My cousin invited me to Savers, since it was half off day, but I was a good Frugalicious Diva and declined…this time. I didn’t need anything so I opted out this year. Just so you know, this sale comes around again for Veteran’s Day in November. I will catch that one, so join me and set aside a little cash to spend around then.

Back to the holiday. Again, if you’re like us, you know this family day is complete with barbeque, potlucks, kids, games, sun and plenty of drinks. Along with the food, comes a major mess. Certainly, with all the kids and pets we have around, we want to clean with products that won’t hurt them, but will still be effective to cut grease and sanitize.

That brings me to the area we missed last week, which if you had company this weekend, I know took a toll on your home:

Difficult Cleaning Areas

·        Bathroom Grout/Toilet Bowls

·        Kitchen Walls

·        Ovens

Like I said last week, you’ve been introduced to the tools needed (well most), but I’ll remind you of my favorite ones to use for these areas. In addition to elbow grease, you’ll want to have the following on hand: lemon, vinegar, water, salt, baking soda, hydrogen peroxide.

For the easiest of these difficult places, let’s start with the toilet bowls and drains. This is one is isn’t completely natural for us, because I was able to score some free toilet bowl cleaners with my couponing a little while back, but you can guarantee when it’s gone, I’ll be using my own mix. There are many ways to clean; you need a dry agent (baking soda or borax) and something acidic (vinegar or lemon). Sprinkle the dry over the sides, sit for 30 minutes, then pour the acid in and use your brush to clean. Add lemon for a fresh smell.

Speaking of smells, a tip if you have young men in your home, use this recipe to get rid of the “boy” smell. I thought it was entertaining and useful: Ask Anna Moseley

Want to naturally clean your drains and your plunger isn’t doing the trick? Add salt and baking soda together and pour down the drain. Follow that by pouring a medium size pot of boiling water down with it. It should be clear in no time!!

Bathroom tiles are the worst to clean, if you let the task get away from you. If you have tough tile/grout stains, mix, in a dark bottle, water and hydrogen peroxide and heavily spray it on the walls. Wait an hour, then rinse and scrub if you need to. To prevent mildew in the future, keep a spray bottle mix of water and vinegar by the tub and spray immediately after every shower and bath.

Now, if you didn’t use anything else yesterday, I know you used the oven and if you don’t have a self-cleaning feature, it’s a monster to clean sometimes!! Make it easy by creating our own self-cleaning oven. Mix a cup of each: water, baking soda and salt all together and smear the paste all over the inside. Put your oven on 450 for an hour and keep the door closed. Once it cools down, rinse off everything inside with a damp cloth dipped in vinegar to get rid of leftover cleaner.

You can use this same paste to clean the kitchen walls of the greasy matter that won’t stay in on the stove. In addition, you can clean with the trusty all purpose cleaner of water and vinegar, let sit for a few minutes, then wipe clean. Really dirty? Simply heat the vinegar, dip in your cloth and wipe it all away.

As you can see there are so many ways to clean our homes with the simplest ingredients, many that we usually have on hand at any given time. All it takes is a little time and effort and you can kick those harsh chemicals to the curb. Simple, natural products is the way to go to keep a clean and healthy home and the best part is that you can DO IT YOURSELF!!

I’ve really enjoyed this DIY series this month and it was a challenge to clean everything at home!! Thanks for joining me and have a great week!!

Frugalicious Diva

Follow me on Twitter at @FrugaliciousDva

The Dating “Game”

I have been single for almost 10 months, which to some is an eternity. It IS almost a year, lol. For me, I felt that time was needed. Sometimes we jump from relationship to relationship without taking the time to heal in between those experiences. This can especially be detrimental to your state of being when you are mistreated. When we are betrayed or hurt, we need time to heal or risk taking that baggage into the next relationship, which is not a good thing. 

It’s a great thing to take some time out for you and get yourself right. Like I have said on this blog before, be that person you want to meet. Don’t just settle for the first person who approaches you because you’re lonely and want to be with someone badly. Learn to appreciate spending time with you and embrace your solitude. Because at the end of the day, no one can make you 100% happy but you. And even if you meet the most wonderful person in the world, if you are not happy with yourself, don’t know your self-worth and are getting into a relationship for the wrong reasons, it will never work out.

My last relationship was with a man who wanted to control me and did what he could to try to change me. But I was too strong for that so we argued A LOT. That relationship did not last long. But it taught me the lesson of standing my ground, being true to myself and never compromising myself for another. It also taught me the lesson of taking my time in getting to know someone. Because in my ex’s case, he was Prince Charming in the very beginning.  It’s like when you go for a job interview. You will wear your best suit, make sure your resume looks great and you present yourself in the best way possible to get that job. In this case, a person will do that to get your heart (or your body), depending on his/her intentions.

Some of us are led to believe we have to jump through hoops to keep someone’s attention when in all actuality, if that person is interested, he/she will stay interested if you just continue to be you. Nothing extra or special. They see what a good catch you are so there is no need to prove yourself. You just have to let go and open your heart. You also have to believe that you’re a good catch. In other words, know your worth. He/she likes you for a reason.

Opening your heart to someone new is not easy. Just as I wrote two weeks ago, I can speak from experience. I have been so hurt in the past, to the point where I do tend to have my guard up, not just with potential significant others but people in general. It’s hard to trust someone when you have been constantly betrayed and mistreated by people. However, we all have to let go at some point and let someone in or else, we will end up alone. While it is a healthy thing to embrace your solitude, you shouldn’t totally isolate yourself from others and the world. We’re all human and want that interaction and company. It’s all about having an even balance in your life where you don’t need or rely on that interaction. You desire it but you are just fine without it and don't need it 100% of the time.

I recently starting dating someone, who I like every much. He’s a great man and I know he likes me a lot. He’s been pursuing me for a year but a year ago, I was not ready. Sometimes the right person can present themselves but it does not mean it’s the right time for you and that person to connect. But God and the universe have a way of showing you what’s to come if you do right by yourself. Again, it’s all about taking that time to make sure you’re good.  You want to be able to offer the best possible you to that person. He/she deserves that. Leave that baggage at the curb where it belongs.

I am so determined to do things right. I want to take it slow and get to know him. I have to admit that I find myself quoting the Steve Harvey book from time to time and we joke about it. He takes it all in stride, which I love. Yes, I plan to follow that 90-day rule because I know my self-worth and if he really digs me, he wants more than my body.  Sex is so easy to fall into because we mistaken lust with emotion. And having sex too early can make a relationship go left real quick. There are some exceptions, this I know. But I am not trying to fool myself into thinking he and I could be the exception. I need to keep it real with myself and listen to my inner voice. If a person sets off any kind of alarm or makes you feel a certain kind of way, chances are your intuition is on point. You will know deep down if someone wants you for you and not just to have sex with you.

If it is meant to be, it’ll happen. And if it doesn’t, I’m okay with that too. I took my chance and will continue to do so until I meet the one I am supposed to be with. As long as I am good with ME and am right with the decisions I make, then I will have no regrets. And that is what life is all about. I will admit I am a little nervous because sometimes dating can be complicated with all of its "rules" and such. But I keep telling myself that the main thing I need to do is be myself. I'm pretty awesome to begin with, so why would I need to try to act like anyone else? That is true for all of us. And that makes the dating "game" a little less complicated.

The Frugal Files: DIY Challenge: Do It Yourself Cleaning

Hey frugal folks!! Welcome back!!

True story. I loved that low-priced and effective product, AWESOME!! I even blogged about my love for its cleaning strength and ability to remove the toughest spots. Plus, it was cheap, so it was “Frugalicious Diva” approved. However, I had to end the relationship because it tried to kill me and it DID kill some of our clothing.

My daughter cleans the bathroom and though she’s a little heavy handed, AWESOME was choking me!! I was on the main floor and she was in the second floor bathroom. I won’t even mention what it did to our unmentionables. Stained clothing got clean, but the fabric was weakened and finally tore apart. That is too harsh!! I made it a vow to transform all household products to natural ones. We’re not completely there yet, but we have changed some habits drastically.

Did you just spray the last of your favorite household cleaner? Well, instead of going out to get another bottle (especially if you don’t have a coupon), make your own recipe. You don’t have to be a chemist, just someone who wants to have a clean house without all the harsh chemicals. Belles, it’s time to Do It Yourself!! 

Easy Cleaning Areas

With all the surfaces around the house, I did a lot of research to find what works best for each. Here are the easiest surfaces I clean in the house:

·        Glass surfaces, including mirrors

·        Kitchen countertops

·        Microwaves

·        Furniture that requires light dusting.

My favorite staples for easy cleaning areas: lemon, vinegar, water, olive oil and newspaper.

Reuse old bottles, rinse thoroughly and mix up one part white vinegar to three parts water and use as a glass cleaner. Instead of paper towels to wipe the glass, use newspaper. It keeps the glass from streaking. When the paper dries, simply toss it in the recycling. This same bottle can be used to clean off countertops and anything needing a good cleaning. Vinegar may have an unpleasant smell, but it deodorizes the surfaces it touches. If the smell really bothers you, add 10-15 drops of your favorite essential oil to your mix. I always use lavender; it’s calming.

Need an easier way to clean your messy microwave? Cut a lemon in half and fill up a microwavable bowl with water. Place the water and lemon inside for about 30-40 seconds. When it’s done, get a sponge and simply wipe away the grime. The acidic nature of the lemon interacts with the steam and makes the dirt easy to wipe clean. Also, if you have a garbage disposal, toss your old or used lemons in. They helpsharpen the blades and freshen the disposal!!

Furniture polish is easy too, by adding all of the ingredients in my list together and Voila; your own duster and polisher. If you like fragrance, add a few squeezes of an orange to your mix and it’s your very own Murphy’s oil and Orange Glo!!

Medium Cleaning Areas

These are surfaces that will take a little more effort than a wipe down, but not too bad to clean, especially if you stay on top of it regularly:

·        Sink surfaces and drains

·        Stove surfaces

·        Kitchen floors

Tools for these areas: Vinegar, baking soda, dish soap, isopropyl alcohol

Sink surfaces just need a bit of warmed up vinegar and dish soap and they are disinfected, clean and shining like they are brand new.

Since everyone doesn’t have a Swiffer for the kitchen and wood floors, we can still make the work easy on ourselves. Get the same recipe as the glass cleaner (water and vinegar), add a little dish soap (for the suds) and rubbing alcohol and you have your own floor cleaner. If you do have a Swiffer, you can use this solution with it and skip the expensive refills. The great thing about this recipe is you can use it on your kitchen tile floor too!!

Wow, I have been chatting on and on, so much so that we’ve run out of time today!! Looks like you’ll have to stay tuned for tips on the most difficult cleaning areas. I’ll give you a hint though…you’ve already been given most of the products used to make your own cleaners, but will add more next time.

Thanks for being here and feel free to share your DIY cleaning secrets with us in the comments below!! Enjoy your week!! Make it a frugaliciously clean one!!

Frugalicious Diva

Follow me on Twitter at @FrugaliciousDva

Bloom Where You’re Planted

I consider myself a spiritual person but knowing the scriptures is something I am working on. So I don’t proclaim to be an expert. With that said, I had no idea that the quote “Bloom where you’re planted” derived from the Bible (1 Corinthians 7:17-24). Love it!

Essentially to “bloom where you’re planted” means to not wait to realize your dreams. No matter where you are in your life, don’t wait until things get better or put it off to tomorrow. The time is now. Here’s an analogy I always think of when motivating myself to bloom where I am planted. You see a dress in the window that you have to have. However, you are not happy with your weight. So you say to yourself, “I will get that dress when I am ten pounds lighter.” You then wait until those ten pounds go away and one day as you are waiting, you walk by the window and the dress is gone! Now you have missed out on the dress, which did come in your size but since you were not happy with your current weight, you didn’t buy it.

Life is like that. Some of us could be in situations where we are unemployed or struggling through some emotional pain. Some of us are just in a situation we long to get out of. And what happens is that we don’t bloom where we are planted. We instead wait for that moment when things will get better so that we will have the money to do this or feel well enough to do that. And we let time pass us by. What we don’t realize is that no matter what the situation, we can definitely rise from the ashes and BLOOM WHERE WE ARE PLANTED.

Life is a journey but it’s all about how we travel that path within our journey. That decides what kind of life you will have. We can be shown the path by a higher power (God, The Universe, whatever you believe in) but if we don’t take the steps to walk that path and live life in the best way possible, you will miss out on a great journey.

You are responsible for your own happiness. You are responsible for how your life unfolds. We have the power to create our days. We decide how we let setbacks, disappointments and pain affect our journey.  You live your best life possible when you have faith in your journey, believe in yourself and stay determined to live life in such a way that it feeds your happiness.

Many of us spend too much time letting other folk’s negativity block us on our path. We let obstacles derail us during our journey and pain halt us on our path. What we fail to see is that we lose time when we stop walking on our path. And we can’t get that time back. I know this from personal experience and that’s when I had my own epiphany about blooming where I am planted.

Four years ago, I was laid off from my job of 7 years and dumped by my boyfriend , all in the same week. I was stunned and thrown for a loop. However, it’s crazy because I also felt relieved. I felt as if a huge weight was taken off me. I loved my job but it was very demanding. However, I grew comfortable and considered myself lucky to have a steady job that paid well. I was also not happy with the boyfriend either. I had been contemplating breaking things off but it was easier to stay with someone I was comfortable with. There goes that word again…”comfortable”.

I have since learned that being comfortable is not the secret of success to life. We are constantly challenged and life is all about evolving. Being comfortable in your life is the same as never letting yourself evolve and change. Change can be hard but it is good for your well-being and your life. Being comfortable many times goes hand in hand with fear…fear of the unknown, so we stay within the familiar.

I found myself, 38 years old, facing a do-over that I did not want nor seek. But I was being pushed into it. So I decided I would not resist it. I would walk the path. I had nothing to lose. So I spent some time traveling (which can do wonders for the soul) and exploring what I wanted to do with my life. Ever since I was a kid, I had always been a writer but I ignored that as a career because I had always been told that being a writer was not a real career.

Then the opportunities presented itself and I welcomed them. I continued to walk on the path. Despite not having a conventional 9-5 job, I had to make it work. I had to bloom where I was planted. Now it is not easy and I also have side jobs I do to make ends meet, like tutoring children ages 7-9. But I never lose sight of my main goal and I refuse to give up. I continue to be on my grind; I write pieces, blog and am even writing a book. Writing makes me happy. It feels right. I remember having a conversation with a friend about finding my way and she asked me, “Who are you? What is the first thing that comes to your mind when hearing that question?” And I replied, “I am a writer.” And that was a defining moment for me.

Time waits for no one. And after losing my dad last year, as I have said many times on this blog before, his death reminded me that life is short. And you determine how that life turns out. You create your life. It doesn’t matter where you are or what is going on around you. Life will never be the perfect setting for your dream to unfold. You ultimately have the power to decide how all of that affects you and how you walk your path in life.

You just have to bloom where you’re planted.

The Frugal Files: DIY Challenge: Do It Yourself Decor

Hey there frugalicious ones!! I’m so excited about this week’s topic because it’s one of my favorite things to do since purchasing a house. It’s still May, so Belles, we are doing it our way, DIY style!! Last week we learned how to create natural, healthy, homemade products for our hair and our bodies. I hope you have given yourselves daily mini spa days since then.

It’s still Spring cleaning time and sometimes we get bored with what we currently see. Let’s do some DIY home makeovers within your budget!! Thumbing through a catalog will have us believe we can’t afford to do something new in our homes, but it’s so not the case. We can decorate, not really on a dime, but for just a few dollars.

I’m sharing tips I’ve learned and implemented, so you can change up your room too. Let’s start with your Living Room. When I wanted to change up my room, it was really a matter of rearranging the furniture, so I suggest you do the same. Change it around to create a new look. Then, just like when we wear our trusty black dresses, let’s jazz it up with accessories. Try these ideas on for size:

-         Set a vase and picture next to a lamp

-         Add or change an area rug under your coffee table

-         Move a floor lamp from one space to another corner

-         Add new pillows to your sofa or love seat

-         Place a chess board to the middle of your coffee table

Have trinkets you don’t know where to put? Add them as decoration on your mantle or tables in the room. It adds a personal touch.

For the Dining Room, sometimes adding a rug or a tablecloth changes the entire look of the room. That’s great for the center, but try out these accents:

-         adding a storage box to an empty corner

-         placing an artificial tree in one of the corners

-         keeping your table set with a bowl of fruit and chargers

Don’t have a home office? Use a portion of your dining room by getting a corner desk with shelves. It can match the décor of the overall room, but it is a space of its own. Add a cork Vision Board to this “office” and you are ready to realize your goals, from home.

Often, we have miscellaneous items like table vases, artificial flowers, books, frames and baskets just sitting around the house. Be creative and put them in places you never imagined. For instance, cover a chair stool with a long scarf or piece of fabric, and it doubles as a plant stand. Bookcase a little bare? Use it to showcase your library books, a miscellaneous painting or even your vintage magazines.

Thrifting is great to use in our re-décor efforts. First, be on the look out for anyone decluttering on Freecycle. If folks are giving away home décor, ask for it. You can also place your WANT there and if they have it, may give it to you. I’ve personally gotten great decorations from my local freecycle including wicker, frames and candles.

When that’s not enough, head to the thrift shops. Just walking around will get your creative decorating juices flowing. If you venture to Savers, take a donation of your items as you’ll get a coupon, along with your tax deduction slip. $3.00 off of $10.00 spent will come in handy. There you can find items to spruce up your place:

-         a unique clock that would look perfect on your kitchen wall

-         wooden bowls to accent a table

-         faux fruit to use for decoration (I have pears and grapes)

-         frames or shadow boxes to put your favorite artwork set in

-         glasses, vases, and wind chimes galore can be found here

Lastly, if you’re willing to spend more, head to Craigslist. Here you just might find rare finds for less. Perhaps placing a standing globe in your living room or den to fill an open space. Maybe a bathroom rug set to help you spruce up your facilities without painting. If you must paint, check out Home Depot’s Oops Paint. If you’re not picky about color, then take advantage of someone else’s mistake and pay less for your paint.

There’s always a way to redecorate for less. You know your personality and your style, so who can do it better than you? Do it yourself!! Enjoy your week!!

Frugalicious Diva
Follow me on Twitter at @FrugaliciousDva

The Power of Words

This week's blog column is dedicated to two great people in my life: (1) A dear friend, who overheard a mean comment from someone criticizing her outfit while we were at an event (so uncalled for). And (2) My dad for preparing me for life and the foolery that occurs within it. 

This week, I received an email I was not supposed to see. The words that were written about me were hurtful and very mean-spirited. Now I am a realist and know that somewhere, someone is talking about me. That is life. There will always be someone who has something to say about someone else. This I get. However, at this particular moment, I recalled something my dad told me when I was a kid:

“It’s better not to know every single thing that is being said about you or in general. Sometimes it’s better to just be oblivious to some things and live life as best as you can.”

I didn’t understand that back then when I was a kid but I do now. A part of me wishes I did not see that email. That I did not know how this person felt about me.

I don’t think people realize the severity of words and the effect that a person can have on another with those words. We are all guilty of saying something in haste, in the heat of the moment or without thought. Once that word leaves your mouth, there’s no taking it back. You have to deal with the consequences of the words you have said.

Words can feel like a sword being wielded around, inflicting the victim with deep wounds. Words can incite and divide as we have seen in this world where judgments are handed out on a daily basis. Words can also calm and inspire. Words can create change, good and bad.  I cannot tell you how many times I have been in a group setting and someone will say the word FAT in a derogatory manner. I’m right THERE and it’s as if they have no regard for me.

Yeah, I know what some will say. “Well, it’s my life and I can say anything I want to say.” While that is true, I would like to counter that and ask, what happened to being considerate of others? What happened to having tact and respect for not only others but yourself? The words that come out of your mouth show your character.  If you continue to use words in a negative fashion, it really is showing who you are as a person. The words you express are your messages to the world. And if you want the world to see you as someone who is critical, belittles and insults others, then that is your choice. But honestly, that doesn’t sound like too much fun to me. But to each his/her own…

As a plus size woman, I live in a world where I am judged on a daily basis so I am not trying to add to that mix. I just want to be the best person I can be and live out my days in the most fabulous way possible. You only get one life! As a friend said to me today, this ain’t no dress rehearsal; you only get one shot at this life.

As Robert Frost once said, “In three words, I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.” Words may hold power but we determine how powerful they are by how we let those words affect us. Life is still going to go on. But it is up to YOU on how you continue on. Will you let someone else’s words define you and give those words great power? Or will you strip those words of their power and just be you? I’m going to choose the latter. Because the author of that email is not worth me giving her words power over how I feel. I choose to not waste a single moment by feeling sad or angry.

My dad, the great man he was, he was someone who knew how to use his words wisely. He always told me how some things are better left unsaid. And he always told me that when someone says something insulting to you or speaks ill of you behind your back, before you get upset or angry, look at the source. And if that person is not on your level or up to par in general, they are not worth your tears, your anger or even a rebuttal.

The best thing you can give that person in return is silence. Just as words have power, so does silence. Words may sting but silence will haunt a person. It will drive them crazy because they don’t know how you feel or how you will respond to their words. I know that some of us have to get the last word or will continue to argue until we are blue in the face. It takes a person with dignity to walk away, because when you think about it, that other person is just not worth it.

Words are just that…words. The opinions of others don’t define you. YOU define you. And at the end of the day, your opinion of yourself is what matters. And I happen to think I am a pretty awesome person. So I deleted that email and despite her apologizing once she learned that I saw that email, I did not respond and don’t intend to. Some things are better left unsaid and her words hold no power over me. 

Instead, I'm going to keep it moving and live my life by something else my dad always told me:

"A kind word can go a long way."

The Frugal Files: DIY Challenge: Frugal Faces & Body

Welcome back frugal folks!! Last week we ventured into creative beauty regimens that are inexpensive and easy to make!! We’re going to continue in that vein and whip up some other recipes for you to make yourself at home.

We’ve already cured your headaches and soothed your sore spots with our lavender scented pillow that doubles as a heating pad. We’ve also tamed our tresses and defined the curls, so let’s just see what else we can do for our hair.

Looking for a cheap conditioner? Look in the fridge. Gather your eggs, mayo and honey and stir. If you’re into Greek yogurt, then grab that instead. All of these elements make up the perfect hair food. It doesn’t smell great, but your hair will love it.

I’ve always been a fan of flaxseeds. When I learned it helped digestion as a great source of fiber, I was completely convinced. I bought it ground and sprinkled it on all our food (don’t tell my daughter); salads, soups, rice, casseroles and even the batter of baked desserts. Imagine my surprise, when I found out I could use it on the outside of my body too. Yes naturalistas, we can!! So let’s talk hair!!

Instead of buying ground flaxseeds, buy them whole. They are cheaper too. I got whole bags for $2.99 each, at a health food store, and they last a really long time. Here’s a note, they don’t have to be refrigerated until you grind them, so just store them in your cupboard. Here’s what you’ll need for your Flaxseeds Hair Gel:

o       2 cups of water

o       2/3 cup of whole flaxseeds

o       Old/cheap pantyhose

o       Jar to hold the gel

o       Your favorite essential oils

Add water and whole flaxseeds to a pan and begin to boil. Stir with metal spoon constantly, so the seeds don’t stick. After a few minutes, check your spoon. When it begins to congeal on your spoon, it’s ready. Prepare the container by putting the pantyhose over the edges and slowly pour the contents of the pan into the pantyhose. Use a pair of thongs to strain the remaining gel from the hose. Be careful it’s hot!! Once all the gel is out, put in your drops of essential oil, which are used as preservatives, stir, then put the lid on it and store in the refrigerator.

Get another container and strain the seeds off the pantyhose into it. Lid it and refrigerate that too. You can reuse the flaxseeds when you’re ready to make another batch of gel.

Now that we’ve taken care of our heads, let’s talk about body. There are hundreds of products that promise smooth and supple skin, callus and dead skin removal and healthy and glowing skin. Wouldn’t it be awesome if you could achieve those same results at home? Well, Frugalicious Diva says, you can!!

I know you have salt and sugar at home. With all the health benefits of olive oil that we talked about last week, I know you have that too. Well, along with your favorite essential oil for a great scent, those are all you need to peel off old skin and bring forth new skin, leaving you moisturized with a sunkissed glow.

Frugal Face: Grab a container with a top. Add sugars (white and brown), squeeze in some lemon juice, honey and our special ingredient: wet parsley. I learned that parsley helps tone skin, as well as reduce swelling, redness and blackheads. Stir and put in the fridge. When ready to use, rub gently into the face and décolleté area, let sit for 60-90 seconds, then wash off in the shower with a washcloth. It smells good, tastes good and refreshes your face.

Frugal Body: Grab another container with a lid, pour in sea salt, add olive oil and moisten the salt with a spoon, making sure the oil is evenly distributed. Add a few drops of scented oil and you’re done. Leave it near your tub; it’s ready when you want to slough off the dead skin, especially from elbows and heels. You will leave your shower exfoliated and moisturized.

I’m not saying throw out your favorite moisturizers, but if you don’t have a coupon for it this week, try doing it yourself, right at home. I promise you’ll love the results and the money you’ll save!! Enjoy your week!!

Frugalicious Diva
Follow me on Twitter at @FrugaliciousDva

The Miraculous Journey of Opening Your Heart

Besides blogging and writing, I also tutor children ages 6 – 10 during the week.  One of my students has been reading the book, The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane by Kate DiCamillo since Easter break and we were finishing it up this week.

This book really got to me. It’s a story about a china rabbit named Edward Tulane, owned by a little girl named Abilene. She adored Edward and he took her love for granted. One day, as the family set sail to London, he was thrown overboard into the ocean by some kids bothering Abilene. From there, his journey began. He met people along the way; he found love, lost love and found it again. The moral of the story is that even the most broken heart can feel love again, if you open your heart and believe that, that love that is meant for you will find you.

There was one part of the story in particular that struck me so deeply. At this point of the story, Edward has been on this long journey and is broken after all of his experiences. He is in deep despair and does not want to love ever again. He has ended up in a doll store, sitting on a shelf. One day, an old doll is placed next to him and the conversation they have changes his life forever. Here’s the book excerpt (pgs 198 – 199):

The old doll said, “I wonder who will come for me this time. Someone will come. Someone always comes. Who will it be?”

“I don’t care if anyone comes for me,” said Edward.

“But that’s dreadful,” said the old doll. “There’s no point in going on if you feel that way. No point at all. You must be filled with expectancy. You must be awash with hope. You must wonder who will love you, whom you will love next.”

“I am done with being loved,” Edward told her. “I’m done with loving. It’s too painful.”

“Pish,” said the old doll. “Where is your courage?”

“Somewhere else, I guess,” said Edward.

“You disappoint me,” she said. “You disappoint me greatly. If you have no intention of loving or being loved, then the whole journey is pointless. You might as well leap from this shelf right now and let yourself shatter into a million pieces. Get it over with. Get it over with right now.”

The day the old doll was sold, her last words to Edward, as she was carried out of the store, were:

“Open your heart. Someone will come. Someone will come for you. But first you must open your heart.” (pg 201)

Just those words planted a seed in Edward’s heart, which caused his heart to start to open.
 

Often on our journeys, we get our hearts broken, not just by a significant other but by a loved one, friends, people in general. And we get so hurt to the point where the pain is so unbearable that we want to give up on love altogether. We close our hearts. I’m guilty of that. It's tough being single at my age, when all of my friends are either in a long committed relationship or married. I always wanted to have children and that has not happened yet either. For a long time, I kept wondering why I was not meeting that right person for me. I have had failed relationships where I gave my all and it did not work out. The pain was so great that I closed my heart for a long time. I felt that if I allowed myself to be open, I was also leaving the door open to pain, which I was tired of feeling. After being hurt so much, you begin to feel defeated, almost at a state of not caring anymore. You lose hope.

But what the old doll told Edward is so true…if you have no intention of loving or being loved, then the whole journey is pointless. We create our lives with the choices we make. When we choose to close our hearts, we are affecting our journey and preventing love from coming into our lives. Sometimes we will find love and we will lose love. The pain is not fun, as I am sure you know. But the pain will heal, if you don’t close your heart.

What I learned from my own experiences of finding love and losing it, is that there is always a lesson to be learned. Truth and pain tend to go hand in hand. When a situation turns bad, the truth is that it did not work out. But that truth actually empowers you because now you know and once you know, you have the power to make the decision on what to do next. Again, you create your life with the choices you make.


Too many times we blame that other person for hurting us but we also have to be accountable for our actions as well. Did we settle for someone that was not good for us out of loneliness? Did we turn a blind eye to someone's faults or ignored the alarms ringing in our heads? I have learned that if a person shows their true colors and you continue to stay with that person, then the fault lies with you. We must learn the lesson and move on. I have learned what I DON'T want in a significant other by past failed relationships. I have learned to trust myself more and that it is okay to make a mistake. It happens.

At the end of Edward Tulane’s story, love came full circle for him. And I believe that love is like that for all of us. We have to find love, lose love and then find it again to truly appreciate the meaning of love and to know what true love is. All the heartache and pain we suffer is a lesson on how to love and not take it for granted.

So the next time when thoughts of giving up on love or closing my heart enter my mind, I will think of the words of the old doll…”Someone will come. Someone will come for you.” Those words of faith and hope help keep my heart open. Edward sat in that doll shop for years and never gave up until love found him and came full circle. If you are like me and waiting for that someone to come, just know that love is out there and it will find you when the time is right. 

The Frugal Files: DIY Challenge: Frugal Beauty

Good day to you frugalicious ones out there!! Welcome back to The Frugal Files!!

In May we are going to expand our minds, all while expanding our purses. The goal here is to save as much as possible by cutting out the middleman. In fact, we’re cutting out everyone else we would have to pay, because we are going to be using our own resources to get results in our own lives.

All month long will be a challenge to us to keep our money and use our talents. So, welcome to May, our Do It Yourself Challenge Month!! All month I’ll be taking notes on various subjects and blogging about ways for us to save by doing it ourselves in beauty, education, gardening, home and anything else I can find to share. If I want to do it, I know there are many others who do too!! So, let’s just see what we can get into!!

Let’s talk beauty first!! We’re always Belles of the ball, so it’s probably safe to say that we like to feel attractive and confident in what we wear and that includes what we put on our bodies. The beauty DIY is my favorite because I already make some of my own products right at home. It’s fun to do and frugalicious because it’s what we already have at home. If you’re a Naturalista like me, then you will certainly love some these recipes!!

Seven years ago I got my wisdom teeth pulled. It was a 20-minute outpatient procedure. I went to sleep and when I woke, I was done, but the pain lingered on. My doctor prescribed a strong drug and after taking one, I realized just how powerful. So I cut the pills in half. Even that had me slurring words and I just didn’t like the way it made me feel. I stopped taking them completely and vowed to not take drugs ever again.

Whenever I tell that story, people always ask me, “What do you do for headaches?” I’m glad you asked. That same year, I was involved in a Christmas present exchange and my Secret Pal was from Australia. She sent me this beautiful, wonderfully smelling lavender aromatherapy pillow. It was the best gift ever because it is now what my household uses for headaches. Lavender has soothing, healing properties, great for headaches. Just rub in on your head and let the scent take you to another place. It always works.

Grab a satin pillow and make your own aromatherapy pillow. If not, get a pillowcase, potholder or even an old sock. Fill it with rice or beans may even work. Tie or sew the ends to keep in your stuffing then add a few drops of your favorite essential oil to your pillow. Lavender is best for us; when our pillow loses some of its scent, we just add a few drops.

Another natural beauty’s friend is oil. Coconut Oil, Olive Oil, Jojoba Oil. Pick one and start using it along with Shea Butter. My hair has been natural for 13 years, but I used to be a serious product junkie. This is an issue many face today. You went natural and thought it would save you money, but you spend so much on products to eliminate frizz, define curls and moisturize that it became more expensive than when you wore it processed. Well no more!! Frugalicious Diva says, Shea Butter is all you need (along with the other oils mentioned).

Now, you will have to make the initial investment, but the products last a long time, saving you money in the long run. You want moisturized, well-defined, shiny hair with lots of body, then take a look at my favorite Youtuber’s recipe for her Homemade Creamy & Fluffy Shea Butter. 

It’s great for your hair and the best thing about Shea butter is that it’s also good for your body. So, you guessed it…no more pricey lotions and body butters for me. I’m a Shea Butter Belle!!

Looks like we’re out of time, but be sure to tune in next week and when we discuss Frugal Beauty Tips!! Enjoy your week!!

Frugalicious Diva
Follow me on Twitter at @FrugaliciousDva