Fearless Fridays: Taking Control of Your Story, Part 2

2012 will be over in a few days. Are you ready? I know I am. I’m starting the new year with a clean slate. I have cleaned house in my life and have let go of toxic people and things. I have my list of goals I want to accomplish. I am so excited for what’s to come. Many people say 2013 is a lucky year, especially if the number 13 is your lucky number. As I mentioned last week in part 1 of this blog, we are all closing out a chapter in our lives with the year ending. December 21st marked the winter solstice, the ending of one time cycle and the beginning of a new one.  So this is a great time for a do-over. It’s never too late to renew your life and take control of your story.

Many times, taking control of your story is as simple as looking at the current story we are telling ourselves. You tell the world your story as you live it but you are also essentially telling that story to yourself as well. We are watching our own stories and reacting to them. If we react negatively, it’s almost as if we are telling ourselves that our life is not great and will never work out. That is self-sabotage and will just keep our life in that state. Your life is what you make it. So ask yourself: How are you telling the story of your life? Are you telling your story from a negative outlook?

If you are living out your story in a negative state, one of the ways you can change that is to change your way of thinking. The power of thinking is incredible. Many of us don’t realize that all it takes is a positive outlook to change things around.  Even in the words we speak, we are determining our outlook in life. The words can’t, won’t, should of, would of, don’t and any other words used in a negative fashion should not even be in your vocabulary. As soon as you say you “can’t” do something, you are already setting the tone for what’s to come. You are holding yourself back from living life to its fullest.

It’s not easy to change your way of thinking if you have been in a pity party for years and are used to complaining about your life and how you never seem to catch a break. But the first step is always the hardest. If you’re capable making the first step, then you can do anything you set your mind to. Having a positive outlook is something you work on daily, one day at a time. First, you have to accept that you are accountable for the choices you make. You cannot place blame on others and the world for a lack of successes and happiness. You have to check yourself on this, accept that you are the reason things have not been going right because of the poor choices you have been making and then make a commitment to make better choices. 

Second, you have to stop worrying about what someone else has. Everyone has their own journey and while someone else may seem to have it all, you never know the full story. Everyone has their own crosses to bear in life. No one’s life is perfect.  When you focus on someone else and what they have, it takes your focus off of your own life. You are not meant to have what the next person has. You are meant to have your own successes. You have your own journey to walk. You have your own story. No two stories are the same. So instead of focusing on someone else and being jealous of what they have, celebrate the fact that your story is unique, can always change, that you are in control and always have a choice.

Another thing that many of us do to ourselves is beat ourselves up when we fail. To live a happy life, don't be so hard on yourself.  It’s perfectly normal to want to win but you have to accept that you won’t always win because some things are not meant for you to gain. Sometimes a loss is a blessing. It shows us a lesson and helps us to grow on our journey. It can give us strength and increased determination, if we let it. Again, it’s all about a positive way of thinking. My dad used to always tell me that failure doesn't mean you're a loser because at least you tried.  There are people out there who give up without trying because of fear. Then you will never know if you would have won or lost. And that’s worse than trying and seeing the end result, good or bad. Because whether it’s good or bad, you will get something out it. If you keep trying, you will succeed more times than you fail because of all the lessons learned from the losses.

Anyone who knows me knows my love for the TV show Survivor and Jeff Probst. He has a mantra he lives by, which I love: Say yes to adventure! Adventure comes in many forms. You don’t have to climb Mt Everest or see the Great Wall of China. An adventure can be as simple as leaving your house to take a walk. When you say YES to adventure, you are committing to putting yourself out there in the world. Putting yourself out there means putting yourself in situations where you can allow the Universe to place people and opportunities in your path. The love of your life or the job you love will not come knocking on your door and be handed to you. Nothing will find you if you are locked up in your house, in your pajamas. Having adventure in your life will make you feel empowered and good. Most of all, it will make you happy. 

For me, just being outside is an adventure. I love people watching. I love looking at the sky and appreciating the world and all its beauty. It makes me feel rejuvenated and alive. I love to travel for this reason. It is amazing to me how I can get on a plane and be in an entirely different part of the world in a matter of hours. It is incredible to see the different architecture and customs. Do what you love and also dare to do things out of the box that are new and exciting. That is your adventure.

As long as you have a dream in your heart that you believe in and a desire to bring that dream into fruition, there is nothing that can stop you from making that happen in your life but YOU. Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither was your life. Take it one day at a time. We are all works in progress but what matters is that we make the effort to be better people and have better lives. 

Bottom line: change your story and you will change your life. Just make sure that story is a great one. Happy New Year, everyone! Wishing all of you an amazing year ahead full of growth, evolution and happiness. It's the best gift you can give yourself. Cheers! xo