Wise: Andrea Amador

Plus Size Women Can Love the Skin They're in - 50 Self Image Makeover Morsel Tips
By Andrea Amador

How many times have you sighed about the size of your thighs, moped about your muffin top or groaned about the junk in your trunk while trying desperately to avoid temptation and stick to your diet? If you're like 4 out of 5 women, you'd say that you hate some part of your body and being overweight is why you feel lousy. When you feel lousy, you eat more, when you eat more, you feel terrible about your body. It's a self perpetuating cycle.

As a professional coach, body image/self esteem expert and a curvy plus size gal, myself, I've learned that the answer is not dieting. Research now shows that up to 98% of all people who have lost weight on a diet, regain all the weight back, plus more, within 2-5 years. This is because diets don't teach you how to deal with your emotions. If you want to feel better about yourself, you don't have to change your body, you have to change the way you think about it.

How to embrace your curves in a skinny obsessed society
Food and weight obsession is the fall out that comes from living in a thin is beautiful, pluck and tuck, chop and drop, image-obsessed society. As a plus size woman, you're built with a wider frame and larger proportions. Despite the fact that up to 67% of women in the US wears a size 14, fashion still caters to thinness, making the larger woman feel fat and ugly.

If you want to end the war with your body once and for all and begin to make peace with food, you have to first start by learning to accept your body as it is, with all the fat, chunky, chubby, and wobbly bits intact. Wouldn't you agree it's high time that we widen the definition of beauty?

Here are 50 quick tips to get you started on the road to self acceptance to lovin' the skin you're in:

1. Pause and do some deep breathing.

2. Make the decision to say goodbye to dieting

3. Become aware of your internal dialog

4. Make a list of the buggin' you's in your life.

5. Seek out a great role model for body confidence

6. Look in the mirror and find things you like about yourself.

7. Develop a strengths based awareness. Know what makes you shine.

8. Spend time appreciating what you have and count your blessings.

9. Recognize your needs and know that they are important.

10. Assert yourself

11. Remind yourself often of your accomplishments.

12. Spend time with people who respect and value you as a person.

13. Appreciate your body for it's function.

14. Get rid of your scale

15. Wear clothes that really fit you

16. Buy some new lovely undergarments

17. Praise yourself - Focus on what you like about yourself

18. Watch body affirming television shows like Lifetime's "How to Look Good Naked"

19. Spend time alone to refuel your spirit.

20. Touch your body.

21. Get more sleep and take more breaks

22. Make a list of your favorite things.

23. Avoid all or nothing, black and white thinking.

24. Challenge yourself to speak up and say what's on your mind

25. Spend time laughing out loud

26. Ask yourself, "how do I feel about ...?"

27. Surround yourself with beauty

28. Listen to your body's wisdom

29. Avoid the body comparison game

30. Flaunt your individuality

31. Start each day with a smile

32. Ask yourself better questions

33. Forgive yourself

34. Make peace with your past

35. Plan something to look forward to each day

36. Accept your imperfections

37. Enjoy safe sex

38. Say "No" to others and "Yes" to yourself

39. Be sensitive to yourself when you're feeling down

40. Create opportunities to talk about what's bugging you

41. Avoid shame and guilt

42. Commit to being your own best friend

43. Don't make it personal. Recognize that people are only doing the best they can

44. Take 100% responsibility for your life

45. Spend time in nature

46. Learn how to meditate

47. Write down your goals.

48. See yourself from the eyes of one who loves you.

49. Don't take yourself too seriously.

50. Volunteer your time and give back to others

Now that you've got these 50 tips to get started, you'll soon notice that your perceptions will start to change. As you focus more on what you like about yourself, you'll find more to like. And that's the real secret to being a curvy and confident woman at any size.

___________________________________________________________________
Andrea Amador, CEC, M.NLP is The Juicy Woman. As a certified professional coach and Body Image/Self Esteem expert, she teaches women who are emotional eaters how to overcome emotional eating, make peace with foods like french fries and pies and love their thighs at any size! Sign up to get her free Lovin' the Skin You're In Sampler: Self Image Makeover Morsels at http://www.thejuicywoman.com/

Article Source: Ezinearticles.com

The Scene: The Saartjie Project

THE SAARTJIE PROJECT presents...
"R/EVOLUTION: DECONSTRUCTING THE MYTH OF THE BOOTY"

February 20th & 21st, 8pm
Capitol Hill Arts Workshop 545 7th St. SE
Advance Tickets on sale 1/30!

The Saartjie Project has garnered national and international attention for its boundary-stretching stage presentation that addresses the complex issues facing black women in society. The collective is named after Saartjie Baartman, the South African woman who, in the 1800's, was paraded around Europe under the show name "Hottentot Venus". She was eroticized and caged to show off her large buttocks to paying audiences. Upon her death her body was dissected and displayed in a museum... and almost 200 years later her remains were finally laid to rest in her homeland. This February Saartjie Baartman's tumultuous life is the catalyst for "R/evolution". Join the collective as they celebrate her humanity and explore body politics through storytelling, drama, song and dance!

Actress and poet Farah Lawal said, "It's amazing to be part of not only this collective, but also a movement of its own. The work we are doing gives voice to the unheard and light to a darker part of history that is still vividly relevant today."

Performances will be held on Friday, February 20th and Saturday, February 21st at the Capitol Hill Arts Workshop (545 7th St. SE, Washington DC). The show begins at 8:00pm nightly, and doors open at 7pm with an Artisan's Market on site.

Tickets sold at the door and $10 advance tickets available at http://www.thesaartjieproject.org/ starting 1.30.09.

ABOUT THE SAARTJIE PROJECT
The Saartjie Project is preparing for its 2009 season, which will kick off with "R/evolution" at the Capitol Hill Arts Workshop. This spring the collective is slated to perform at the Pedagogy & Theatre of the Oppressed International Conference and is currently casting for an Atlanta-based collective.

Wise: Christie Higuera

Embracing a Prosperous New Year - 4 Easy Things That Will Focus Your Resolutions
By Christie Higuera

Each year, the whole world brings in the new year with a bang-lights, music, the loud roaring countdown in hundreds of languages across the earth's vast landscape. Typically, though, late morning on New Year's Day arrive and, sleepily and wishfully, people create their list of resolutions, or promises to change. These scribbles are usually lack a detailed description and plan and go something like, "I'm going to eat better" or "exercise more" or my personal favorite, "I'm gonna get rich." Instead of longing for these things for yourself, I challenge you to really get to the root of who you are and what is important to you.

Crystallizing your dreams can bring new opportunities and lead you on the path to living a rich life. You have one chance a year to sit down and do this! And these changes are for you and you alone-what a gift! Resolutions that manifest into action also benefit those who spend the most time with you, but really, this formula for success is yours. You have a clean slate on January 1, 2009. It is kind of like the start of a school year and you have new pens and a fresh notebook. Now-do your homework!

First, make a list of ten values that you embrace.

Honesty, integrity, hope, kindness, healthy living, quality family time...whatever they may be write ten down in ink!

Second, choose your top three (just three!) from this list that you want to work on this next year and attach one specific action to each value.

For example: If you are choosing honesty-you might say, "I am going to be honest with myself about what I want and deserve in a relationship."

Third, set a specific date and write down your plan.

For example, By May 31, 2009 I will have demonstrated honesty, healthy living, and prosperity in my life. I will do this by being honest with myself about what I want and need in a relationship and writing this down, going to my yoga class once a week, and starting and maintaining a home based business. Read this aloud once a day. This step helps to solidify your promise to yourself by serving as a reminder and a deadline. If you have a specific date in mind, your goal is easier to shoot for.

Fourth, visualize these changes taking place.

See them in your mind and feel how good it feels to demand the best for yourself in a relationship. Feel yourself after having completed an intense yoga session. Feel what it is like to have a business bank account that is overflowing with money.

Focusing your promises with these four steps will help you avoid feeling overwhelmed as the year begins. Your resolutions may be much different than the ones I have described. But no matter which personal values are most important to you, the same formula work as long as you take action and do what you intend to do. When you set a specific date and plan of action that you read aloud to yourself every day, you will find that it is important that you keep this promise to yourself. You may also find that it is actually effortless to keep this promise. Remember, it is for you, no one else. Once the date that you decide on arrives, you can see all that you have accomplished! Best of luck and here's to a happy, prosperous, fulfilling 2009!__________________________________________________________
Christie Higuera is a coach, educator, and future millionaire. For more information on how crystallize your goals with a proven formula visit: http://www.topmillionaireformula.com.

Article Source: Ezinearticles.com

Wise: Jill Andrew

In this column in which women share their dreams, challenges, and thoughts about the issues and trends related to being a BBW and/or a woman of color, author Jill Andrew discusses how every woman should be made to feel beautiful, regardless of size.

Last month I was on the train heading into CastleFrank station when I saw an ad campaign from Jenny Craig promoting none other than weight loss.

The Ad stated, “Do you want to change your underwear this year?” Pictured was an image of the quintessential cotton, moo-moo, “granny”, full-coverage underwear number that appeared to be able to fit myself and everyone else on the train in it.

And of course this was juxtaposed with the tres sexy, lacey, racy thong. Go figure, right? Another social reminder pushing the message that my “gluteus maximus” is not sexy. No. I do not want to change my underwear this year! “Stop force feeding me these ideas”, I thought. “I’m not buying”.

At the same time I happened to notice a young woman, about twenty-five, just about to occupy a seat between two gentlemen (Gentlemen? That’s arguable).

This girl was a plus-size beautiful vision. With great taste in stilettos, I might add.

The look these two idiots gave her was astonishing.Like a student in an OSAP repayment line, they looked at her with sheer disgust. It was as if she was invading their space, their world by simply sitting next to them. You would have thought She must have had anchovies and onions stuck to her coat!

The men kept shifting and turning, making sure everyone knew just how uncomfortable they were and more importantly, just how “out of her place” she must have been to think for a moment that she had a right to a seat on their thrown.Her face turning red, and her legs squeezed so tight as though a winning lottery was hiding there, the embarrassment was clear.

Gosh, my heart rate was racing!

She graciously stood up and held a pole until her stop arrived. The men with a look of relief, looked around to find an “audience” for their pathetic behaviour. That was my moment to say something, to take a stand.

And you know what? I choked.

The lady was at the pole, I’m looking around--my disgust about the situation painfully clear, and I could not find the words.

By the time I had come to my senses, we were at Yonge. It was time to get off, time to turn my head and go on with the day as if nothing had happened.

Would you believe it if I told you that I met the same woman on my way home? Okay, I didn’t. But the experience coupled with the Jenny Craig underwear ad was on my mind for the entire day.

Of course I am not here to say that nothing has changed. Sure, we are possibly more alert now maybe more than any other decade about the manipulations of the beauty ideal, but nonetheless we are still buyers of the raw deal.

Ps. To the lady on the bus…I apologize for my silence because in that moment, I was no better than those 2 ‘gentlemen’ were.

____________________________________________________________________ Taken from the in-progress manuscript of “Phat Girls in Search of a Pretty World: Hot Lil’ Fat Chicks Speakin’ Out"—a qualitative anthology of women’s experiences with size and identity in a real twiggy-obsessed kinda world. For more information contact Jill Andrew at phatgirlsauthor@hotmail.com or info@jillandrewmedia.com.

Wise: She Ain't Heavy

She Ain't Heavy
By Stephanie Goddard Davidson

I remember the turning point clearly. I was in the eighth grade, standing outside of the cafeteria in my lime green polyester skirt, when I discovered something that has been a constant and unwelcome companion ever since: a little roll of fat below the elastic waistband where there once was only flatness. I had recently started to feed myself chips and sodas as after school snacks, but I just knew my body would stay as trim as it always had. Based on the soft evidence before me, my body had no plans to abandon natural laws and cooperate with my new eating regime.

It became more than just speculation at that moment, that my body did indeed have a mind of its own. I'd had hints in the past, but I figured it was just slow to catch up. For instance, it didn't grow boobs when I wanted it to (nor were they as big as I would have liked, once they did show up). My period didn't start in the 4th grade, as I had fervently wished on the first star on many nights; it showed up in the 6th grade instead. While my body did bend and jump and run well enough to stay in shape for dance recitals, and make the cheerleading squad, the bump in my nose was surely keeping the boys away---and did I have to be so tall (5'3") for the school dance?

Now at almost 45, I find myself still in this battle with "my" body. Why can't it stay thin without exercise and eating right (whatever that means)? And am I going to have to have my flaws surgically altered at some point? I mean, the hundreds of dollars spent on products wasn't doing all that much. And my hair! Is it right for my features and couldn't it be easier to style in the morning? Is it too aging or does it make me look like I'm trying too hard to look young (which is exactly what I'm up to)?

Ugh. My body, as usual, just isn't cooperating. Admittedly, the damn thing is still here even with my decades-long smoking addiction (which is on its way out -again). And I'll also be the first to show surprise that for some reason, lately, I just don't have an interest in alcohol (and thank God, because that one definitely got in my way). Maybe that has to do with the long-overdo divorce? Hmmm. Maybe the small seed being planted lately in the media---where having a body that doesn't resemble a supermodel's is becoming something to tolerate---has taken root?

Intellectually, I get those Dove commercials with the plus-size models and I absolutely can't wait for the next episode of Carson K's 'How to Look Good Naked.' I get that we are all "supposed" to (is that an order?) love our bodies. You know, love yourself. Self-love. The "L" word. Well, I can say for certain that I don't LOVE my body despite its ability to put up with all sorts of interference and the fact that it actually does look a little better than the gals selling Dove.

All these years later, my body is still here--and still has a mind of its own--and that has to mean something, doesn't it? What I've done and thought and said up to now hasn't worked. So what will? My body is clearly not going anywhere and is definitely not going to defy gravity or physics in this lifetime. So now what?

What I know from years of therapy, journaling and Oprah, is that this goal of weight loss is NOT a complete-and-total-change-forever goal. There are two reasons that this goal is likely to be temporary once again:

1. Being skinny takes me out of what I lovingly call, the Girl's Club. By that I mean, I don't get to bitch about my body and its lack of desirability with my friends and female coworkers when I look, well, desirable.

2. The second reason this goal may be almost met and then abandoned, is that it makes me a candidate for sex. Eeek. While I am a big fan, it comes with a lot of complications. Hangers-on or a broken heart and plus I'm a MOM and we aren't sexy just in case you were wondering. I mean I'm actually gonna need the 15 lb. cushion to send that message. Right?

So back I go to eating right and exercising and sleeping more than 8 hours a night and taking vitamins. I'm on my way to looking good---once again. I am doing the bodywork I need to do to accomplish this goal, that I have accomplished and unaccomplished many times. This goal is all I think about, even now, while that little voice in the back of my head is saying, "Until the next time that you stop working out or start eating whatever you want or..." I know it. My body knows it. And frankly anyone that's been paying attention to my version of chitchat knows it. So what's different today?

Something shifted this morning. Something really important just kind of happened to me mentally. I'm not sure how, but I have a feeling as to why. I have been reading and listening to tapes and taking seminars for all sorts of reasons, not the least of which is that it's my job. And with these new pieces of information and encouragement, I have recently declared (for possibly the 30th time in my life) that I will, once again, lose 15 pounds and look great soon. The Epiphany-- with a capital "E"-- that you've all been waiting/reading for is: why don't you relate to your body the way it has related to you and be your body's friend for a change?

This isn't the same thing, in my mind, as LOVING my body. That's not realistic for me. But my body has actually been pretty cool to me, considering the way I've been treating her. And she is a 'her', by the way. She sits quietly in the background while I take her for these roller coaster rides when I'm bored or angry or sad or lonely. The term "roller coaster ride" is my shorthand for binge eating or drinking or sex with just anyone. It's been my way of dealing with the outside world. My reasoning is to make myself/her incoherent on the inside and then the outside won't feel so bad. It hasn't worked yet, but when it does, I'll let you know. And in the meantime? She brushes herself off after each episode and gets up the next morning and keeps going.

I look down today and see my tired, slightly lumpy body as, quite possibly, the most remarkable creature I can think of-a true friend. This friend has hung in there despite my attempts to stop hanging out with her. She has really come through, even though she hasn't been given any encouragement from me to stay consistent and trustworthy. Admittedly, she is not very energetic and feels a little sad and there is that literal pain in my/her neck, but all and all, she's trying. She gets it done. Day after day.

If I really was carting around a friend at all times, how would I treat her, I wonder? Would I let her only sleep a little and not as much she needs? Would I feed her whatever's easiest? Would I let her sit all day on an uncomfortable chair while she works? Would I insist she wear shoes that hurt her feet so that she looks good to others?

Would I point out how puffy her eyes are and how her hair is doing that weird flippy thing on one side again? Would I compare her to the celebrities in People magazine and complain to her that she doesn't measure up? Would I tell a friend to skip some of her pap smears and mammograms because they are inconvenient and might show something she doesn't want to see anyway?

And of course my answer is no. I might share some things eventually and delicately, but I wouldn't blame her for these things. I'd point them out as possible improvements, if she is so inclined. And what isn't in my "friend's" power to fix? Then I would accept those things as part of who she is and like her anyway. Maybe even love her, if that's in the cards, as I get to know her again for the first time in thirty-plus years.

I am holding the idea of body-as-friend in my mind today. As I move throughout today (thanks to her) I will continue to focus my mind back to this bizarre, yet exciting, realization---my body is not my enemy and is quite possibly my friend. While I haven't been much of a participant in this friendship, she has, and I owe her big time. I may slip back into old habits, but I have the intention, at least for today, of making a new habit---treating my body like the lifelong friend she is.

She really has been a great one. I only hope I still deserve her.

____________________________________________________________________ Stephanie Goddard (Davidson) is considered a subject matter expert in workplace communications and specializes in leadership and interpersonal skills training.

Frequently appearing as a guest on radio programs and published in numerous articles on workplace communications, Stephanie is also a nationally certified trainer for Covey's Seven Habits of Highly Effective People; DDI programs; Ridge's People Skills for Managers and Individual Contributors; Myers-Briggs Type Indicator; FranklinCovey's Project Management and master certified in Achieve Global's Management Programs; as well as an instructor with the American Management Association.

Go to her website for even more articles at http://www.work-stress-solutions.com

Article Source: Ezinearticles.com

Wise: Grace Judson

I'm So Glad you Asked
By Grace Judson

What do you want?

Did you ask for it?

Chances are that if you're a man, you did, and if you're a woman, you didn't. This is one of those confusing gender differences that often creates frustration - and can cause you to feel as if people are playing negative politics when they're not.

It seems self-evident that if you want something, you ask for it. Kids are darned good at it: just walk through any toy store, and you'll hear the chorus from all around you. I don't have kids, but I can tell you that my cats are good at asking too, right down to waking me up if I have the audacity to sleep past their normal breakfast time.

So what stops people from asking, and what can you do about it - both as someone who has things to ask for, and as someone who manages or works with people who may or may not be asking? Here are a few things to think about. If they don't ring true for you, don't dismiss them out of hand. Chances are they do ring true for people you work with. Your ability to understand and respond to those people will benefit them and you.

Noticing hard work
You may believe that hard work stands on its own, and that you deserve your hard work to be recognized and rewarded without having to draw attention to it. When someone else's work is rewarded with a promotion or a "good job, way to go" while yours is apparently overlooked, you feel cheated and demoralized.

In today's frantically busy world, people barely have time to do their own work, much less see what's going on around them. With the best of intentions, it's hard to notice what other people are up to.

So the person who got the promotion or other recognition probably asked for it. Perhaps he said, "Let's talk about what I need to do to be promoted!" and followed up with, "Okay, I did all that, what's the next step?" Or perhaps she asked her manager, "Did you notice the graphics I added to that report? Bob over in Sales said they were helpful."

If you wait for someone to notice your work without drawing attention to it, you're likely to be waiting for a very long time. Don't wait. Ask!

Playing by the rules
Perhaps you haven't even considered asking for something that goes against your understanding of company policy, your manager's preferences and opinions, or HR's rules. Then when, for instance, someone else goes to a conference that wasn't in the budget, or when an exception is made in the work-from-home policy, you're understandably offended and annoyed.

As you've guessed by now - they probably asked. He might have said, "I think this conference would be valuable to me and to the department. These are the programs I'll attend that are directly relevant. Here are the costs - air fare was less than I expected - and here's what I think the return-on-investment will be."

Or she might have pointed out, "You know, I spend almost three hours in traffic every day getting to and from the office. Fridays are especially bad, and those are the days I'm on the phone all day anyway, making initial sales calls. I think I'd be a lot more productive if I could work from home on Fridays. Would you be willing to consider a month's trial period, and we could assess my productivity at the end of that time?"

What you think are rules are often just guidelines. Ask!

Accepting what's offered
It's important to remember that what's initially offered isn't necessarily the final word. Once again, it's a question of asking.

The person who got additional help on his project might have taken the facts and figures to his manager. "Given the deadline, and given the size of the project, we can significantly reduce risk if I have two more people working with me."

Your fellow department manager who got extra funding for her IT budget might have said, "My group's been working with sub-standard equipment for a long time now - we seem to be the last department to be upgraded. I've gone over the figures with the IT director, and he says we need new PCs for at least half my staff just to be up to minimum standard. I'd like to increase my technology budget to cover that - what do you think?"

Don't just take what you've been handed if you need or want more. Ask!

About those gender differences
You probably noticed my choices for "he said - she said" ways of asking in this article. Yes, they were deliberate, and yes, I exaggerated the differences for effect.

Let me be very clear: I exaggerated for effect! While the words and approaches I used are all acceptable, clearly some are more direct and potentially more powerful than others. Neither is more appropriate for men or for women; either may or may not be the right way to ask in any given situation. Nonetheless, the reality is that women and men ask for things in very different ways, which is what my exaggeration is intended to point out.

Those differences between how women and men ask for things and negotiate is the subject of Women Don't Ask, a thoroughly-researched and very readable book by Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever, paperback edition published in February 2007. I highly recommend the book to anyone who is a woman or who works or lives with women. If you're a woman, it will help you become more fluent in asking for what you want. If you're a man, you'll understand why women sometimes appear maddeningly vague or tentative about asking.

"You create your opportunities by asking for them." - Patti Hansen, 1956- , successful fashion model and wife of Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards.

© Grace L. Judson. All Rights Reserved.
_________________________________________________________________
It's not magic. It's just positive workplace politics.

About the Author
I'm Grace Judson, the founder of and driving force behind Svaha Concepts.

Feeling trapped between your career goals and your loathing for "playing politics"? You can remain true to your values and integrity and still be politically savvy. For more information or to access my free resources (including my free workbook "The Five Deadly Shoulds of Office Politics that Maul, Mangle, and Murder Careers (and what to do about them)," please visit Svaha Concepts' website.

Article Source: EzineArticles.com

Wise: Six Traits You Don't Need

Wise: 6 Traits You Don't Need

By Alexys Fairfield

Do you ever feel like you are burdened with the weight of the world on your shoulders? Often times the weight of the world is really the weight of your inner world. The world that you may neglect at times, unbeknownst to you. Sometimes when we get so busy in our lives, we may inadvertently channel these traits that we can really live without.

1. Anger - Two words; not good. Two more words; anger management. It's no fun being on either end of anger. Though sometimes it is justified, anger can be an emotional tsunami with serious health complications that can shorten life span and interfere with quality of life.

In a major study, researchers at the University of California, Berkeley identified chronic anger and hostility as key triggers of smoking and excessive drinking, and obstacles to healthy immune function. In addition, episodes of anger were found to play a role in the onset of potentially deadly ischemic strokes.

Anger typically occurs in degrees, ranging from mild annoyance to intense rage and not all of it is vocalized. It is best to communicate, if that's not possible, learn to differentiate between the action you WANT to take and the action you MUST take.

2. Aggression - We often hear that aggression is good, but is that really the case? Like a lion ready to pounce, aggressiveness puts us on edge. It may be a jungle out there, but that does not mean that we have to be the lion. It's true that you can get more flies with honey than with vinegar. Do aggressive people really get ahead or do they ruffle as many feathers as possible to rise to the top? What aggressive people may not realize is that what goes around comes around.

3. Fear - We are here to experience life at it's fullest. Living in fear is like living in a lunar eclipse; you can never see the illumination because your joy is being blocked. Take small steps, feel the fear and do it anyway.

4. Lying - There is a difference between harmless white lies and lies that can harm, defame and ruin someone's life. If you have to lie to other people, then you are really lying to yourself. Being honest and having integrity is worth more than lying for any reason. There are exceptions, but use discretion if you have to stretch the truth. Think of the outcome before you say it.

5. Infidelity - There is no excuse for this. The statistics are staggering. Most infidelity goes undetected. Given the secretive nature of infidelity, exact figures about cheating and extramarital affairs are nearly impossible to establish. It is estimated that roughly 30 to 60% of all married individuals (in the United States) will engage in infidelity. These numbers are probably on the conservative side, when you consider that close to half of all marriages end in divorce.

If you feel that you have to cheat, then you should probably get out of the relationship. Why put your partner through the pain of adultery? We all want to be loved, but when we pick the wrong partner, that can lead to a lifetime of pain and baggage that can follow us from relationship to relationship. It's better to pack your bags than to have baggage.

6. Ridicule - Putting other people down to elevate yourself shows a defect in your character. If there is something inside of you that gets a kick out of another's downfall, then something inside of you is off kilter. It behooves us to treat others as we want to be treated. People don't want to be mistreated. When an elephant falls, even the frogs don't kick him.

___________________________________________________________________

Alexys Fairfield is a writer and rhapsodist in Los Angeles who specializes in ways to enlighten the human experience while helping individuals find happiness and fulfillment in this moment. Embrace this journey of a lifetime. Life gives you wings, all you have to do is fly. http://www.soulmeetsworld.com/

Article Source: EzineArticles.com