Fearless Fridays: Dare To Be Different...Dare To Be YOU!

I have always been someone who dances to the beats of her own music. I know I am unlike no one else and I love that! Thing is, we are all unique in our own birthright. As I always say, there is only one you in this world and that’s pretty freaking amazing and powerful.  

It can be intimidating to try to be you in a world where you are not accepted or made to feel inadequate. I get that because it even happens in the plus size community. You would think that I would be accepted and not judged within my own community but I am because I am not what plus size is often shown to be in the media.  I am a size 26/28. According to the industry, I am too large to be a plus size model, too large to wear the clothing of many designers and too large to be someone prominent in the industry. 

Now if you have been reading my column for a while or know me outside of this, do you think I will let those opinions and assumptions stop me from still being me and putting myself out there? Oh, heck no!  I refuse to hide because of that. This is me. I may not fit the plus size model that is shown in the public eye but I am beautiful in my own right. I thrive on being different. Why would I want to be a carbon copy of someone else just to fit in?

I have no desire to be a plus size model. I’m clumsy and can’t really walk well in heels. But I still believe I can own a runway because despite whatever size I am, I work with what I have. As for those designers who don’t create clothing in my size, well, there are plenty of designers out there who do. For every negative, there’s a positive. It’s all about your way of thinking and how you handle the negatives that come along in life. You can either, break down doors and emerge, saying “I’m here!” Or you can watch life from the sidelines and never fully reach your own potential.

I feel like this, if you can’t accept me for me, then you don’t have to accept me at all. See how I flipped it? It’s all about how you look at things. If you’re looking at the situation as one you have to conform to, then you are giving that other person or group power over you and who you should be. In all actuality, you really should be thinking, if they can’t accept me for who I am, it’s their loss. I think that when someone dares to be different, it scares the crap out of cliques where the people within them are carbon copies of each other. 

Daring to be different means standing out of the crowd. It means not being afraid of being seen and not caring what others will say after they have seen you.  So you can either hide and let those other people control your life and how you live it. Or you can be seen and dare to be YOU, in all your unique and fabulous glory. Trust, when you do that, your shine is blinding and it will inspire others to want to do the same.

Embrace who you are and not what society wants you to be. Stop trying to be that person that you think you’re supposed to be and just be yourself. You are enough. Imperfections and all. No one is perfect. When you are suppressing who you really are, you are playing it safe. And life is too short to just get by. Life is meant to be lived to the fullest. It is meant to be full of adventures, lessons and great moments.

First of all, please stop comparing yourself to others. It’s so easy to compare ourselves to others when we don’t see our own greatness and envy someone else’s. We always think the grass is greener is on the other side. But when you compare yourself to someone else, you are setting yourself up for even more disappointment. No matter how hard you try, you can never be that person. You were created as you for a reason.

Please stop being so hard on yourself. We can be our own worst enemy. We constantly look at our flaws and berate ourselves for them. We get on these non-realistic journeys to change ourselves to fit a mold that we are told we should emulate. When we do this, we are saying to ourselves that we are not enough. Thing is, when you have this attitude, you will always feel you are not enough. You will never be happy until you give yourself a break, look in the mirror and say “I’m beautiful and I’m pretty amazing right now as who I am.” Instead of being hard on yourself, start admiring the things about you that you love. All of our quirks are things that are unique to us. And anything unique is awesome in my book. Because no one can take that away from you.

Just let go. We can’t control what others say and do. But we can control how we feel about ourselves and how we react to the criticism of others. It’s all about how you think and look at things. Once we accept and let go of the fact that we cannot control the situation, things become so much easier. You become more carefree and less fearful of being who you are.

The most important ways you can show your love for yourself is to be true to who you are, never compromise yourself for anyone, believe in yourself and love yourself unconditionally. Part of being fearless in life is daring to be different. Why would you want to be like everyone else? How boring is that? You’re here for a reason…your presence is not a mistake.  

While discussing my career and my future plans with a good friend two weeks ago, she told me:  “Just keep being you. Authenticity gets people places, trust me.” 

That’s the best advice I have gotten in a very long time. 

The Frugal Files: See Yourself, Saving Yourself

Hey frugal folks!!

Welcome back to The Frugal Files with your host, the Frugalicious Diva!! I thought about continuing on with another Substitute to Save post, but thought the three posted were good all their own. Furthermore, I thought it would be good to just be a bit transparent with everyone. Today’s blog is really a chastisement for myself, but if anything I speak about applies to you, consider yourself whipped too.

It’s just been a whirlwind in my life for the last few months and it’s been an emotional roller coaster. So many things in my life are in transition and as we get ready to change seasons, it’s good to talk about these things from time to time. Some days are up, some are down and some things have been down right depressing…financially, physically, emotionally, romantically…

You all know I’m very much into affirmation and speaking positively about our lives. Sometimes it gets hard out here. Don’t you agree? Moping and crying, although MAY feel therapeutic then, will not help the situation get any better. Trust me…

Anyway, I’ve done a little studying on Feng Shui and have even arranged some of my home areas around for maximum “chi”. Unfortunately, life gets in the way and when you don’t take the time to pray and meditate and all the other positive things you need to in order to keep sane, the stress catches up to you. When it does, it can manifest in many different ways.

For me, the manifestation came in the form of my lawn and yard areas. I took a shortcut last year, which proved to not be frugalicious at all!! I allowed an ex-boyfriend to tend to it, under the guise that he knew what he was doing. Not!! Where I previously just had a few weeds here and there, became a forest for Barbie and Ken. Ridiculous. So, I started pulling weeds monthly, enlisting my daughter only sometimes (she was not with it).

After months of doing this, and the rain made it 10 times worse, I was irritated every time I drove up and every time I left my home. I felt anxious, helpless, angry and like the weeds, out of control. I was started to realize, it was mirroring my own life. After begging people to help me, even calling the culprit out to “clean up what he messed up”, having him come for the “consultation”, but not show up for the actual job, finally, I decided I’ve had enough!!

I am not helpless and I will no longer live this way. I DECIDED that THIS week, I would get myself together; ALL the way together. I don’t know where I fell off, but I’m getting back on immediately. It’s what our affirmations are all about; speaking life into your situation, your circumstances and your life!! I challenge you to find out what your surroundings are saying about you and act on it today!! I don’t know where you need to start, but I needed to start in my yard and I did.

I went to a cousin, who previously mentioned how great her lawn guy is. I told her to give him my number because I had work for him THIS WEEK. He called and he took the tour of my domestic jungle and we made a deal. He came back the same day to tackle the front lawn. I am so grateful and pleased. I will sleep better knowing I’ve accomplished something. I haven’t completed all the assignments to get my life back on track, but at least, I’m back on the road and in the right lane. I hope this inspires you to do the same. We know better and we can do better!! We can live our best lives!!

So here’s an affirmation for the road:

“Spirited resolve moves me toward my own goals 
with confidence and determination."

Until next time,

Frugalicious Diva

Follow me on Twitter at @FrugaliciousDva

Fearless Fridays: Facing Your Fears

"Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live." ~ Dorothy Thompson

My journey got a swift kick in the butt four years ago when I was laid off from my job and dumped by my boyfriend in the same week. To top it off, my now ex-boyfriend had actually left me for someone else. My world had been turned upside down all at once.  I worked at the same job for seven years so it was definitely a shocker to suddenly be let go. I came into work at 8:30am. By 11am, my boss called me and said her boss wanted to meet with me. By 12n, I was being escorted out of the building, unemployed and stunned. I had no idea my day would turn out that way.  I didn’t know it then but that was the Universe’s way of basically kicking me out of my comfort zone so I can proceed on my journey.

We all go through moments in our lives where we become comfortable and unintentionally end up “stuck” in our current state. However, life is not meant to be spent in one place. Our journey is all about progressing and moving along. Our personal evolutions cannot happen unless we continue to move along in life. The Universe/God will always nudge you along your journey and throw opportunities your way that are meant to help you get to where you’re supposed to be. But this is where our free will comes into play.  It’s like what my dad used to always say: “You can lead someone to the pool but it is up to them to decide if they want to jump in or not.”

Despite those great opportunities in our path, we ultimately choose which road to travel. These opportunities look very good to us and we may feel that twinge in our heart that tells us it is the right opportunity for us. But… something holds us back from seizing that opportunity. We choose to instead stay where we are, where we are comfortable. Almost always, the reason why we stay in our comfort zone is because of fear.

Fear is definitely a roadblock on anyone’s journey.  Don’t get me wrong; fear is normal to experience.  We all have our moments of fear at times in our lives. However, in order to be successful in life, we have to learn to face our fears and push through that roadblock on our path. Or else, you will never realize your full potential.

When we let fear block us from fully experiencing life, we then start to use the following words regularly, which I call the “trilogy of regret”: would of, could of, and should of. You’ll look back at your life and ask yourself something like, “What WOULD OF happened had I taken that job promotion?” Or, “What COULD OF happened if I had spoken up and expressed my ideas?” The worst is “should of”. You then realize that you SHOULD OF made a different choice because you now know after the fact that the outcome would have been in your favor. Making a choice outside of your comfort zone is taking a chance. And taking a chance in life is a fearless move.

As my daily mantra goes, you only get one shot at your life, so why not take a chance? What do you have to lose? To take a chance is to be bold and daring. And that is such an empowering feeling that will make you forget that roadblock called fear. I didn’t always see things this way. I used to be the person who started something but then didn’t finish. I was afraid of the outcome because I could not control it. I grew comfortable in where I was in my journey because me being comfortable made me feel like I was in control. The funny thing about life is that even when you grow comfortable in your life, you are never fully in control. The Universe/God is not having that. Situations will be thrown at you that will shake up your life, just as it happened to me four years ago.

Your life is shaken up so you can see that you have stayed still for too long. And that you are destined for bigger and better things. For me, in looking back, I see that I was in that job longer than I should have been. My journey had halted. I also was with someone that I didn’t belong with but stayed with him because it was comfortable. Sometimes if you can’t walk away and let go on your own, the Universe/God forces you out of that situation. And you are given another opportunity to resume your journey. Some doors close for a reason. Let them.

I learned that it’s not about what goes wrong in your life because there will always be disappointments, setbacks and letdowns. It’s about how you deal with them. When you face your fears and push through the dark times…when you opt to not be comfortable and stand still…you can do anything you set your mind to. Facing your fears means living your dreams. It means enjoying the ride. Your journey will be full of ups and downs but when you confront your fears, you can deal with the ride, appreciate it and learn from it. 

I am still a work in progress but I face my fears one day at a time. It’s not easy but I believe in myself and my limitless capabilities in this life. I am now pursuing my love for writing, teaching and just doing what makes me happy. This is how my blog Fearlessly Just Me was born. This is how Fearless Fridays on this site was born. Every week, I get to write about my journey, what I have learned and hopefully, inspire at least one person. I am proof that if I can do it, you can, too. 

I’m not going to keep myself in a box. I am going to be me and that is a wonderful thing. The world is out there for me to explore and even though at times, it scares the crap out of me, I then remind myself that I can do anything I set my mind to because I believe in myself.

Don’t let fear limit you and what you can do in your life. Stay believing in you and tackle each fear, one day at a time.

Need more inspiration on being fearless? Please check out my feature story on the Catherines I Am website: Becoming Fearless One Day at a Time.

The Frugal Files: Substitute to Save: Re-Purpose Round Up!!

Hey frugal folks!!

We’re back in The Frugal Files; our Substitute to Save series. This week while thinking about what to write, so many ideas came to mind. So many, in fact, I declare this week our Re-Purpose Round Up!! From Fashion to Home, I’m going to share some ways either people I know or I myself have re-purposed our belongings. You’re bound to find something that works for you!!

Accessories

* Turn your old jewelry into treasures again. Make necklaces bracelets or ankle bracelets. If the bangle doesn't fit or you don't like your hoop earrings anymore, use them on your wall as drapery holders. Or on your formal table, use them as napkin holders. Be creative; paint or bedazzle them for added sparkle.

*Do you remember shoe clips? Still have some? Guess what? They double as hair accessories and clothes accessories. Jazz up a plain blouse with a clip and strut yourself to work or into your business meeting!!

Beauty

* Always the bridesmaid and have beau coup dresses? Go from bridesmaid to Beauty Queen. I had a gorgeous gown from a friend's wedding. It was the color of wine with a bodice top. It had a shawl, that I turned into puffy sleeves and used it as a pageant dress. No need to buy ANOTHER dress I'll never wear again. I just used what I had and I suggest you do the same with yours. Give them another life!!

Coupons

* I helped a friend declutter her daughter's old room and ran across last year's school binder. It had a zipper, plenty of space and just by chance, it was time for me to upgrade my coupon binder. So instead of putting it in the freecycle pile, she gifted it to me!! Score!! Free and Re-purposed; from studying to storing, and of course, SAVING!!

* You know, your picture photo album, with no pictures, can also be used as a coupon book to keep your coupons in. I've seen this method and it's very easy to find and store coupons!!

Food

* Have a hankering for Sloppy Joes tonight and you're out of Manwich? Well, never fear, other condiments are here!! Make your own by mixing ketchup and mustard together with your meat. Add a few diced onions and voila!! Like them a sweet? Use barbecue sauce instead of ketchup. Another tip: if you're running low, tap into your restaurant condiment stash.

* Want it grilled, but no charcoal? Skip the outside and pull out your Foreman grill. It will give you the grilled taste without the heat or the expense of full fledged grilling!! It will grill ANYTHING!!

* Looking for a tasty, decadent dessert without the extra calories? Substitute Greek yogurt for your beloved ice cream. You still get a great dessert and it's healthy!!

Holiday

* If you keep your old Christmas cards in a bin in your basement. Arrange them, take a picture and tear (or cut is you're neat) in half. Use them as holiday postcards to send to family and friends. It's a frugal and easy way to spread holiday cheer.

* One of my coupon friends is planning to do this next one. Remember that old chandelier? It may be  outdated for your home, but not for a festive outing. Clean it up, polish it and paint it for an elegant wedding or birthday cake/cupcake holder. It's the most creative thing I've seen in while!!

Home

* Towels are expensive, so even when it looks like they are dead, be sure to breath new life into them. Designate them as your pet only towels or specifically for when getting your car washed. If they are a great terry cloth, cut them up to use as your dusting rags. No need to buy disposable when you have plenty of terry at home.

* If you just have some general craft stuff laying around, see if there's an art business that will use your recyclable art. Here we have a place called Scrap for Art and they are the re-purpose gurus when it comes to anything art related.

* Lastly, if you're a couponer like me, then you have boatloads of toothpaste in your stockpile. (I currently have 30+ and I donate monthly). This is my FAVORITE article on re-purposing a household item. Look just how many times you can re-purpose toothpaste!! Check it out: Endless Ways to Use Toothpaste

Hope you found some ways to use and reuse what you already have!! Save on everything you need in life by just looking at it a different way; re-purposing your stuff!! Share your re-purposing adventures with me on  Facebook or Twitter!! Until next time!!

Frugalicious Diva

Follow Me on Twitter at @FrugaliciousDva

Fearless Fridays: Celebrate you!

So my birthday is this Sunday and I admit I always make a big deal out of it. Growing up, my parents always treated birthdays as an important day. To them, birthdays are your day to celebrate you.  Every year my parents would ask me what I wanted to do and I loved that I was given a choice. Again, that was them reinforcing that it was MY day so it was to be spent doing what I wanted to do. Within reason, of course, lol.

Even now, as I turn 42, I still feel just as excited about my birthday as I did when I was a kid and still desire to celebrate it to the fullest. However, in the last few years, I have not had good birthdays. Last year was especially hard with my dad no longer here.  I was determined to make this birthday better than the last. However, nothing was going right. I have always wanted to have a party, with all of my favorite people in the same room with me.  I’ve never been that person that people plan parties or bar/lounge get-togethers for. Many of my friends live far away or their schedules don’t allow them to be able to attend. So I attempted to organize a party but it just didn’t work out. Then I tried to make plans to go out and things were just not working out in my favor.  Then in talking to my mom, I find out that my family is not even cutting a cake for me. I was so sad, to say the least.

As I am sitting there, almost in tears, I get a call from a friend, who said the most profound thing to me when I told her about everything that was going on. She said “Whatever you decide to do on your birthday, make sure you enjoy yourself to the fullest and do what makes you happy.” This made me think, wow, why am I worrying about other people and what they can do for me? It is my responsibility to celebrate my day, my life. I was so caught up in my expectations of others that I was missing the big picture and could possibly ruin my own birthday, having a major pity party.

My life is not just about one day. My life is my story, my everyday while I am alive. My birthday should be a day of celebration and remembering the past year and looking forward to the year ahead. But the days after my birthday, I should celebrate as well. Because my life is worth celebrating. Everyone’s life is worth celebrating. Yes, even the bad moments. All of the disappointments and setbacks have strengthened you and made you a better person. You might have thought at the time that you would not make it through but you did. And how far you have come in your life is worth celebrating.

My birthday is a day to bring attention to all of the celebrations I hold daily in my life. It is a reminder that there is only one me in the world and no one can take that away from me. It is the day my story began. And as every birthday passes, my story evolves. Your journey is worth endless celebrations. Think about it…if you spend more time celebrating your life instead of being upset and wallowing in self-pity over things that did not work out, you will be much happier and life will be better. It’s all a state of mind.

Once I changed my state of mind regarding my upcoming birthday, surprisingly things started to change for the better. After I told my mom that I was going out of town for the weekend, she admitted that the family was going to surprise me with a cake on Saturday. A great friend of mine called me and invited me out on Sunday to lunch and a movie. I then plan to have dinner Sunday night with one of my favorite people, my mother. Now this may not seem like exciting things to do on a birthday but I’m taking my friend’s advice and doing what makes me happy. Celebrating your birthday does not have to be some big party or some get-together at a restaurant. As long as you’re happy and enjoying your day to the fullest, that is what counts. With my mom still alive, I am celebrating that every day that she’s here.

Your birthday or your life, for that matter, may not be what you expected or wanted it to be, RIGHT AT THIS MOMENT. But it is still your life and your birthday only comes around once a year. You either have to seize the moment or it will pass you by. I am learning to let go and go with the flow. And celebrate my life for what it is now. That doesn’t mean I am giving up or settling. It just means I am appreciating my current life and it can only get better. As the great Oprah once said,  “The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate." True words, indeed.

The Frugal Files: Substitute to Save: At Home

Hey frugal folks!!

We're back for another Substitute to Save edition of The Frugal Files!! 

In your kitchen, there’s a great opportunity for you to use your substitution skills. So many things can be made there and you don’t have to buy the latest and greatest gadget to get the job done.

First, let’s talk about cleaners. On the market, there’s a spray for this and solvent for that, and of course someone decides to combine them all into what we know as a multipurpose cleaner. Let me confess, as much of an advocate as I am for natural household products, I will get some mild commercial cleaners if I’m getting them for free with my coupons. For instance, just this week, I got free air fresheners. I will certainly use them…in moderation.

Otherwise, get some vinegar (personally, I’ve been getting lots of this for 0.12 each or less), baking soda, and lemons. Add elbow grease and your appliances are clean, disinfected and fresh. No harsh chemicals for the kids or pets to get into and no coughing or gagging from the strong smells. Want some recipes on making your natural cleaners, check out goodies from the archives: DIY Cleaning I and DIY Cleaning II.

As for things in your home...You know that pinterest.com is a wonderful thing!! Such clever ways make life much more interesting. Yes, it’s fun, but warning to the frugalicious divas, some of the fun, kitchen gadgets are not happy to you wallet!! The creativity of the pins are marvelous and although I've been sitting on an invitation for months, I still find items on there fascinating. Some fun things I saw this week were a strawberry de-stemer, an avocado slicer, and a cherry pitter.

I have to admit I like these because I was just thinking about making a blended drink and adding the cherries I got (almost free) and anyone who knows me, knows I LOVE guacamole, so this would be handy. However, you can simply use a small knife to take out the stems, a straw to de-pit the cherries and just simply score the avocado (make criss cross marks) and turn it inside out, the pieces will simply fall out and you can scrape whatever is left.

Now, about those other things at home. Here's a few items I feel are a complete waste of money because there are probably substitutes available right in your home. 

• If you have an abundance of binder clips, they double as chip clips. You can use them to fasten anything in a bag. No need to purchase those plastic things, even though some of them are cute!!
• Have knicks on your wooden furniture? No need for smelly shoe polish or an expensive refinish, use a marker in the same color. You won't even notice.
• Use your TV trays as a printer stand. Cover it with a small cloth to disguise it.
• Likewise, if you have a old bar stool, cover it with a nice piece of cloth and use it as a plant stand.
• Use your additional storage areas in the kitchen to store stockpile items, instead of buying expensive shelving units.

My last tip for today actually is paragraph worthy. While helping a friend pack, I noticed she had a covered bowl of garlic bread on the counter. No big deal right? When I asked what it was covered in, she bragged about these being the greatest thing since sliced bread...I can't remember the name (because I thought they were ridiculous), but after some research found they are similar to the Saran Quick Covers...yeah, they are SHOWER CAPS. If you really want to cover your counter food, do yourself a favor and get the 20 pack of shower caps for 0.99 instead of buying a box of 13 for some exorbitant price. If one doesn't feel secure, wrap it in two!! 

Hope you found this helpful and I would love to hear your Substitute to Save stories!! Connect with me on Facebook and Twitter and let's chat!!

Frugalicious Diva

Follow me on Twitter at @FrugaliciousDva

Fearless Fridays: Honor The Life That You’ve Lived

So it’s my birthday month! My actual birthday is August 19 but I celebrate the whole month. I believe birthdays are so important because it’s your day to celebrate the day you came into this world. There’s only one amazing you in this world so I believe a celebration is in order, just for that very reason.

Every year around this time, I reflect on the past year. As I have written many times before, this past year was not a great one because my dad passed away last year. Today is actually 16 months to the day since he died. It’s been tough but the reality of life is that we don’t live forever. And no matter how much his absence hurts me, I am still here and I have to live on in his legacy. That is how I can honor my life and his. I was the one who wrote and delivered his eulogy and I have to admit, I had people there, laughing, as I shared the great memories I have of him. It’s so true when they say you eulogize your life with the deeds you do within that life. My dad was such a great man and the things he did in his life and the experiences he had are what honor his life and will continue to honor him forever.

My dad in all his awesomeness

However, we shouldn’t wait until we're gone and someone eulogizes us at our memorial service, to honor our lives. We all need to honor the life that we have lived while we are alive. You might be thinking, well, I did nothing great yet so how can I honor a boring life? However, your life does not have to be filled with major achievements to honor it. You honor the life you have lived by paying homage to it through reflection on the positive experiences you have had and how they have shaped you into the person you are today. Every single thing that has happened in our lives, good and bad, has helped us grow and learn. You may not see it now but when the right time comes, you will.

Sometimes we may forget the positive experiences, especially when we encounter seasons of disappointments and setbacks. But when we dwell on those bad times, we are holding ourselves back from truly seeing our lives for what they were and still are. Every day is a blessing. Every day that you wake up, you are getting a do-over and you get to decide how your day is going to go. You can make it wonderful or you can waste the day in a funk. Think of this way: after you are gone, what would you want your eulogy to say about you and your life? What legacy do you want to leave behind?

One way I honor the life I have lived is by keeping a list of the top 10 experiences that have made my life better and made me better as a person. This list will change over time as I accumulate experiences and live life to its fullest. This list can consist of anything you deem a great experience. It could be a place you visited, a goal you achieved, a person you met…basically a defining moment in your life that has helped shape you into the person you are today. I invite you to create your own list. You might be surprised at how many great experiences you have had already. I’ll share my Top 10 with all of you, in hopes that it will inspire you to create your own life. Please note that they are not listed in order of importance.

#1: Visiting China and climbing 16 flights of stairs in extreme heat to touch Buddha (at the Po Lin Monastery on Lantau Island).

#2: Going to Europe all by myself.

#3: Meeting Tim Gunn (I am still kicking myself that I did not get a picture taken)

#4: Seeing the canals of Venice and visiting a hand-blown glass factory on the island of Murano.

#5: Graduating from college with honors.

#6: Getting my first short piece published in an anthology (which is being released November 2012).

#7: Meeting my best friend Herman.

#8: The birth of all three of my nieces.

#9: Seeing the Grand Canyon.

#10: Meeting my ex, who taught me how to open my heart and not be afraid to get hurt.

Now, to some of you, these may not seem like big achievements but they were all defining moments in my life. Your list is your list. It will list those things that you feel were defining positive experiences. I keep my list folded up in a notebook that I carry around with me. When I am feeling bad or have had a bad moment, I take the list out and read it. It's just something about reading my top #10 and remembering those great times, that makes it all better. It makes me see the big picture. A bad moment is just that: a moment. A moment that will pass and it is up to you on whether you want to let it go or not.

I have learned that the best way to honor your life is to let go and not dwell. Keep looking ahead and try to have fearless moments. No one can be fearless 100% of the time but if you live life with the mindset that you will try, despite the fear, you will have a fearless moment. If you keep that mindset ongoing, you will rack up many fearless moments and before you know it, you are living a full life where you are honoring yourself and the life that you have. You are not wasting time and you are enjoying the life that you have.

Our lives all tell a story. But we are the authors of our own stories. The great thing about that is we can always re-write a chapter or change a bad ending to a great one. How you honor your life is your choice. You have the power to create the most awesome, kick-ass, amazing story, to which, when you're gone, your story will be told over and over again. Your legacy will leave its stamp on the world. As I said in the beginning of this, there is only one you in this world and that is pretty amazing.

Fearless Flying: Let's Hit The Road!

Last week, I talked about airline tips for the plus size traveler. This week, in the third and final installment of my plus size travel tips series, I will discuss traveling via bus and train.

Me on Amtrak to Pittsburgh

I actually love traveling on the bus and train. I once flew into London and then took the train to Paris and then Amsterdam.  I regularly take the bus to Boston and Washington, DC. The experience on a bus and train is different from a plane. While a plane offers you a faster trip and nice views of the sky and overview of cities, a ride on a bus or train offers you a scenic ride, where you can enjoy seeing the countryside from your window.  And a long bus or train ride is definitely a great way to clear your mind and relax.

First tip: Compare your options. I always compare times, locations and fares between buses and trains.  Believe it or not, sometimes the bus ride is shorter than the train ride (and cheaper)!  I know that sounds weird but it depends on the number of stops each method of transportation makes. In my experience, trains make more stops. Also, keep in mind how many transfers, if any, you will have to make.  If you require more time and assistance to get on and off a bus or a train, please allot yourself enough time and know ahead where your next connection will be (the gate number or track number). The convenience of the trip and your comfort are two important things.  Especially when thinking about seating, bathrooms and etc (which I will go into later).

Greyhound seating

Second tip: Know ahead of time where you want to sit. As I talked about last week, planning and knowing your seating is a science, especially for plus size travelers who want to be comfortable and not end up feeling like a sardine. On a bus, I find everyone likes to sit up front. The upside to this is that you won’t have to walk down the narrow aisle when exiting the bus, which is always a tight fit. The downside is that you will probably have someone sitting next to you since the front is popular.

I usually go for the back and just deal with the aisle walk when exiting. Being comfortable for the length of the trip is more important to me and it is more likely I won’t have someone sitting next to me in the back. The prime seat is the last row next to the bathroom. That row has three seats and you can really stretch out, if the bus is empty. Warning, though, if it’s a long ride, the smell from the bathroom can definitely make the ride a little smelly. If you are daring like me, just bring some Febreze spray, stretch out in the last row and make it work.

NEVER sit in the front rows across from the driver or behind him. The legroom is not great and usually the driver stores their bag there. Not a comfortable spot to sit at all unless you’re a size 4 or a small child.

With buses, the key is to get there early. People usually start lining up at the gate an hour before and that is how the bus boards. So the closer to the front of the line you are, the greater the chance you will have in choosing your ideal seat. If you can’t stand for a long period of time waiting on line, there are options. Some buses like Peter Pan and Greyhound offer either reserved seating or priority boarding. On Greyhound, priority boarding is an extra $5. Not bad for an extra fee and you can skip the line and board the bus first.  If you are traveling on a popular route, I would definitely advise you pay the extra money so you can have your seat pick.

Amtrak coach seats...wonderful!

With trains, my only tip is get there early so you can get a window seat or seat of your preference, unless you have purchased a premium assigned seat. I have found that Amtrak trains have wonderfully wide seats. The tray table comes down with no problem and someone is able to sit next to me comfortably.  It’s just a matter of choice on which direction you want to face, when sitting on the train and looking out the window.

Third tip: Choose your days and times wisely.   Just as you should avoid a full flight like the plague, the same applies to buses. With trains, not so much since the seats are more comfortable. But you still want the ease of travel and when a plane, bus or train is full, there will be some sort of delay or just pure chaos. Plus, with buses, you want to be careful on the days and times you travel to avoid getting stuck in traffic.

You should avoid traveling during rush hour, especially into a major city in the morning from 6am – 9am and out of a major city from 3pm – 7pm. Fridays, Saturday mornings and Sundays tend to be the busiest times as well. Also, during summer vacations and seasonal breaks, you will see more children and college kids traveling. I always look up Spring Break dates and that’s my own blackout time period where I don’t fly or travel at all. Plus, the fares are usually higher during these times as well.

Other great little travel tips:

• Always make sure you use the bathroom before boarding. On trains, the bathrooms tend to be a nice size but on buses, they vary. For instance, on Greyhound, the bathroom is really small whereas on Megabus, the bathroom is huge.  I would suggest that before your trip, look at the stops along the way online and plan a bathroom break for yourself during stops. That way, when you get on the bus and check out the bathroom, if you think you won’t fit, you know you have a back-up option.

• If you require more legroom, look for the seats in the emergency exit aisles.

• Just as I suggested while on the plane, if you need a tray table on the bus or train, just use your backpack, purse or laptop bag across your lap.

And these two last tips are not plus size related but I feel are so important.

• Always take a sweater and a small pillow with you when traveling on long trips. The air-conditioning can be ridiculous sometimes on buses and trains so a sweater will help you not freeze to death. A pillow can work wonders on comfort and help you not get neck pain while traveling.

• Carry baby wipes and anti-bacterial gel with you. Some of the worst germ-infested spots on a plane, bus or train are the arm handles, the little light and fans above you and the handles on the bathroom door. You have a greater chance of getting sick in a confined place so it’s better to be safe than sorry.

I hope you enjoyed my travel tips and that it inspires you to go out and see the world. If you ever have any questions about traveling, just email me at marcy@belle-noir.com and I would be more than happy to answer them.

Travel safe! And have fun!

Train station in Amsterdam

The Frugal Files: Substitute to Save: School Supplies

Welcome back all!! This month’s Frugal Files will include tips and tricks to substitute your way to saving. I know at restaurants the chefs prefer to prepare the dishes just how it's described on the menu, but we are all different, so we have different tastes. We make substitutions in every other part of our lives, so why not when it comes to our wallets? This month's series will give you ideas to save in other ways besides the traditional ones we see. We'll always find another way to save, so join with me in saying, "Substitutions please!!"

Many people feel they have to pay full price or even make unnecessary purchases in order to have certain things, but the truth is we can always find a deal or improvise with a clever substitution.

What is August typically known for? That’s right folks, it’s Back to School time!! That means it’s time to get those kiddies looking prim, proper and ready to get back to the learning environment. Do you need to get them a trim? Not to diminish the work of your current barber, but be sure to check out JCPenney because they are giving FREE haircuts for the kiddies. Do a search to see if there’s a JCP salon in your area. As long as they are in grades K-6, then they are eligible. Get your appointment booked today!!

This time last year, I challenged you to Hunt for School Supplies at home. Finding what you or your child needs right in your own home is the ultimate substitution. It keeps down the clutter, while you recycle and save money by using what was leftover from last year. No need to head out and try to beat the greedy shoppers who pile their buggies high, just because the supplies are "cheap" (or free) or pay high prices for items you already have (probably in duplicate I might add).

Another tip to save on book covers. It's an oldie, but goodie. Use the paper grocery bags instead. Cut them accordingly, wrap your books and allow your children to do their own artwork on it. Some people use the comics newpapers, but it's so flimsy, you'll be covering the child's book again next week.

If I could add anything to the Scavenger Hunt blog now, I would definitely include new found knowledge of the power of couponing. There are some phenomenal deals out there for glue, crayons, paper and even hand sanitizer. Check out the sales and deals at some of your favorite shopping places and find some corresponding coupons. Check out the websites for coupons too and get your additional savings:

Target - Coupons are available on the site.

Walmart

Walgreens

CVS

You are sure to walk away with free or very cheap items, a great way to start off the school year stress free.

Looking for clothes, then look for uniforms at a thrift shop. If it's a pretty basic dress code, then grab them some khakis and polos and be on your way. No need to buy expensive clothing; just make sure they are clean and comfortable. If you must shop retail, take advantage of sales and discounts. If a store is closing, that's even better. I got word recently that Payless' parent company Stride Rite is closing several of their stores. Although that's unfortunate for their business, it might mean a great deal on school shoes for the kids. Check it out and see what you can find.

That's all the tips I have for you today, but stay tuned this month for subbing to save for college students and in your kitchen!! Until next time, let's save!!

Frugalicious Diva
Follow me on Twitter at @FrugaliciousDva